your not-so-average ray of sunshine

New Website/Blog!!

2011-01-03T12:57:00.001-07:00

Hey all! I now have a new blog (AND official website!)

Check it out here: http://creative-ten.com/

Pre Class ramblings

2010-10-27T08:45:00.001-06:00

Location: Classroom.
Feeling: Very tired.
Listening to: Aerosmith blasting in my ears.

I'm currently sitting in my classroom, 25 minutes until class starts. My bus gets me here about half an hour early, but I don't really mind because it lets me relax or finish up things before class begins. There are a couple other people who get here early as well... I like to dub us the early birds. There are a couple people who I will also dub the late fates... those who are constantly late for class... Seriously, how can someone be chronically late every single day? This baffles me... If you're late every day, then leave earlier..

Anyways, I'm exhausted. The last week or so I've been having nightmares again, keeping me up or waking me up constantly throughout the night. I'm not sure why. Haven't been sleeping well and lately I haven't been feeling well either. Blegh. The last 2 weeks was spent profusely working on multiple (about 12 or something...) projects that we had a 2 week window to complete. We handed them in on Friday. I hope I did well!

G. design has been awesome so far. My instructor is pure awesome and most of the people in my class are great too. We're just beginning to learn Illustrator and we just finished sketches for our own personal identity project which includes us making our own personal logos, letterheads, business cards, envelopes, etc, etc. And after we're done learning Illustrator, we'll be creating them. Awesome.

On our first exam I got the highest mark in our class. For our second "exam" (which was more like a project) I got the second highest mark. So I'm not doing too bad so far. :) I really enjoy it and can't wait to see what else this course brings.

Not exactly sure where to begin updating about the Life of Ash... I'm really sorry for not updating in the blogworld lately. Yikes! I really need to get on this and keep going. I'll say that basically since I've moved there have been things that have made me extremely happy, some that have made me sad or mad... Tired, giddy, excited, down... The list goes on. There are a couple reasons for it, but things have been looking up pretty well lately. I find myself smiling a lot more, laughing a lot more, and just being happy. I've missed that. I hope it sticks around for a while.

Anyhow, should cut this one short. I'm going to try my darndest to keep updating this more often.

Happy Hump Day!

-A

Annabel Lee - Edgar Allan Poe

2010-10-03T08:27:00.003-06:00

(One of my favorite writers. Figured I'd share this beautiful poem with all of you on this Sunday morning.)

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Orientation Day!

2010-09-16T08:46:00.000-06:00

Good morning y'all.
So today is good ol' Orientation Day for school. At 2pm today I'll be brushing elbows with my new instructor and classmates. Hopefully everyone is awesome! I can't believe this whole school thing has snuck up as quick as it has, but I guess it's almost time to start cracking down. School officially starts on Monday!

Still no luck with the jobs.. Got a call back on one that I REALLY wanted, but they were looking for full time. It's really too bad too because it sounded like they really wanted to hire me, asked if there was any way I could switch my school courses to evenings and everything. So, damnit! It was a really good opportunity too. But oh well, guess I just have to move on and keep trucking.

Getting fairly used to the new apartment and living alone. I actually haven't been alone all that much (except for during the days, but errands and a lot have been keeping me busy...). Lots of people to keep me busy so I don't have time to just sit and think about everything.

Anyhow, this is kind of a short blog post, but once again I have to get at 'er. I'll let y'all know how the Orientation goes!

My question to you: Those of you who have gone to post-secondary school, do YOU remember YOUR first day? If so, post it in a comment! I'd love to hear your stories.

-A

The Job Hunt

2010-09-15T08:34:00.000-06:00

Well, anyone who lives in Edmonton knows that the job market has been struggling for a while now. When on earth will it be back up again? That's what I'd like to know. Job hunting/searching is proving to be quite difficult. It doesn't really help that the last time I had to look for a job like this was over 5 years ago... I hate the feeling like you're starting from the bottom, starting ALL over again, the last 5 years just wasted. But I know that's not the case. I have a pretty beefy resume, thanks to these last 5 years, but it's just a matter of finding a decent part time job for while I'm in school that also pays enough that I'll be able to cover rent, bills, etc (basically all of the FUN things of LIFE. Ugh, give me a break.)

I've applied at a couple great sounding places and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It's a little stressful seeing that school starts on MONDAY (yikes), and I'm beginning to worry about being able to pay rent while in school and everything. Luckily if need be, I DO still have some savings that would cover my ass for a couple months, but being me (the financial wizard/money squirrel), I really don't want to have to go to 0$ in my bank account.

So it's a liiiiittle bit stressful over here on my end. Nothing compared to about a month or so ago, but it's more of a different kind of stress. Anyways, I think that's enough bitching for now. Hopefully next post will be filled with great news, rainbows and sunshine and all that jazz. Hope everyone is doing fantastic and not shaking their fist too much at mother nature for this cruel weather we've been having.

Ash out.

Queens Will Play

2010-09-07T13:33:00.000-06:00

Thanks to @TysonDueck, I'm totally addicted to this song now.

A Quiet Moment

2010-09-03T10:46:00.000-06:00

Alright. New place, check. Move complete, check. Buzzer hooked up, internet *finally* hooked up, check check.

Ashley getting used to living alone? Wellll lets come back to that at a later date.

Move went well, or as well as a move can go. Was hard, for obvious reasons, but got through it. It was a REAL moving weekend, as the ex-bf, me, AND my brother and his gf were all moving in the same weekend. What a rush.

The new place is slowly (but surely) coming together. I'll post pictures as soon as I'm done getting stuff organized and put away, etc.

I have to admit, yes I'm relieved the move is over and done with. It's probably the worst part of ending a relationship with a significant other whom you have lived with for 4 years. On the other hand, I'm still coping with it all, but have been (definitely) keeping busy. This last week has been non-stop equaling exhaustion and a bit of disorientation. I'm hoping things will start to calm down (dear god, please...), but I don't think that will happen for a bit. See, I'm still stressed as I need to start looking for a part time job now, knowing it will be a stressful encounter to endure. Hopefully getting said part time job before school starts (another slightly stressful key) on Sept 20th. Holy. That's come up quite fast.

Big (huge) life changes flipping me upside down. I just hope I'll end up right side up with a smile on my face and the sun shining. I'ma working on it.

Almost moving time

2010-08-23T11:27:00.000-06:00

I hate moving.

I don't think anyone likes it really. Having to pack up EVERYTHING and I always feel so disorganized, even though I'm TRYING to be organized this time. I even made a list of things I need to do beforehand, things I'll need to get after I move, places I need to call to change my address... These lists just seem to keep getting bigger.

It sucks having to split up a lot of things over a 5 year relationship... Who gets this, who gets that... If you get that, then can I have this? It's a good thing me and him are still friends, because that part of things has been going fairly smoothly. It's going to be VERY different living alone. I've actually never lived alone before, have always had a roommate or him living with me. I think this will be a good step in the Life of Ash in creating more independence and learning, etc, etc. I think I'm ready to take on this new chapter in my life. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be a big adjustment? Oh yeah. But all in all, I'm SO grateful to have the wonderful, supportive, and amazing friends that I do to help me through these times.

So, I'm worried, stressed, overwhelmed... but I keep trying to look at the positives and focusing on THAT instead of worrying about future stuff. One day at a time...

Anyways, I have more packing to do. Will give an update soon!

Losing Ourselves & Soul Searching

2010-08-16T08:49:00.000-06:00

Hello friends, Ash here.

So in these past few months I have been a terrible blog post updater, and I apologize profusely for that. You see, a lot of things have been going on in Ash's life that has forced her to be MIA and distracted and such. I figured now would be a good time to blog some of these things off my chest, get 'er out in the open and explain a bit of why I've been internet absent. Step 1 (or 3.. or 6...) of coping, dealing, and accepting hardships of life.

Lets travel back a few months (ok, 5 months.. Has it really been that long!? Dear god...). I was laid off, as you all know from a previous post a while back. I STILL have no job, things kind of gotten in the way of that and took priority. But don't worry, I'm on EI right now so that is tiding me over for the time being.

Within the last couple months, I had to deal with a LOT of stress at once. The job loss was the beginning, and then I found out my parents were separating. That was a shocker, I mean these things don't happen when you're 23 years old. But I mean, I knew they were having problems. It was a very hard thing to deal with and still is at times, but it's getting better. My mom moved away from home and I finally took the long drive to see them (separately), which was hard, but I'm glad I did it. Like I said, this situation is slowly getting better (or I'm just getting used to it), and I know it is for the best right now.

Enter anxiety. I've been dealing with anxiety for a while now, and this all has affected it in a really bad way. The anxiety skyrocketed and I was having the worst panic attacks (almost had to go to the hospital) which was SCARY as hell. Thank god I have an AMAZING friend who has gone through this same ordeal and has been my 'coach' through all of this. I honestly have no idea what I would have done or where I would be right now if it weren't for this person. Anxiety is something I've been dealing with for a while, but it has never been this bad or scary. He finally convinced me to talk to my doctor about it (something I had never even thought about doing, possibly because I was ashamed or figured I could deal with this on my own). And yes I am not on medication for it and it HAS been helping (was rocky to start and I had to switch medications and dosage, etc a few times, but now I think we're on track).

Next was issues with the boyfriend. We have been together for almost 5 years and the last year or so has been kind of rocky and I'm sure we both realized it, but just never brought it up. We had a huge talk a few weeks ago and then recently we decided that a break up is the best thing for us. Something I never really thought would happen, but when I realized that neither of us were happy then it was time to do something about it, something needed to change. This didn't feel healthy anymore and I know we were both hurting because of it. I won't go into detail, but basically this will be best for both of us. I know it was a huge stress load for me and adding a lot of anxiety.

All in all, now is the time I need to do some serious soul searching. In these last few months I feel like I've lost myself and I need to find her again. I haven't felt like myself a lot lately, but now is the time to do something about it and start building myself back up again. I know I won't be the same person I was, but I'm hoping that I will be a better person because all of this. What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger, right? Right now I'm currently in the process of moving (found a place - thank god I have the most wonderful landlords in the WORLD. Gave me a steal of a deal on a place in another building they manage), so we'll be out by the end of the month. I know it's going to be hard, but hopefully after it's all done and over with I'll be able to focus on myself and get my head on straight. I'll be starting school on Sept 20th (which is creeping up WAY too fast...) so I'm hoping to be all settled in, with a part time job, and able to concentrate again by that time.

I'm taking things one day at a time and trying to deal with them as they come. Baby steps. You can't overload yourself or you will go crazy. Bat them off one at a time and it will make the rough road a little smoother to drive on. You'd rather be driving over potholes and bumps opposed to crashing into a tree.

I think one of the reasons for this post was to let anyone out there know who may be going through hard times that there IS sunshine through the clouds and darkness. There IS blue sky over the horizon and that everyone deserves to be happy. As hard as things may seem, they will get better, even if you have to give yourself a little push or force yourself to realize things you'd rather not. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm pretty sure it's coming my way. It has to.

-A

She's a pro, I'm a pro, you're a pro!

2010-08-05T21:25:00.001-06:00

So today I was TRULY touched and smiley this morning when I was reading my dearest @CourtneyReese86 's blog, and she honored me with the Prolific Blogger Award. Amazing!
It meant a lot to me, especially considering I've been seriously lacking in the blog updates lately (sigh.. apologies..). Check out her blog here (DO IT!) - http://courtneyreese86.blogspot.com/ . A gigantic hug and humongous thank you to my dearest CP/soul mate/favorite Texan, for making me smile and making my day! Luvers you! (sincerely, your favorite Canuck <3)

Now, for me to pass this lovely award on. I give my fellow Albertan, and amazing lady @nataliexmurphy the Prolific Blogger Award! She is fantastic in keeping her blog updated frequently and always has an interesting post to read! She also loves Monty Python as much as I do. On top of that, she just recently completed her first draft of her medieval romance novel! Congrats Nat!! Give her blog a read (you know you want to!) at http://www.nataliemurphy.blogspot.com/

Funnies.

2010-08-04T10:53:00.001-06:00

So, @Nataliexmurphy on Twitter had an awesome blog post that took me back to the Monty Python days (http://nataliemurphy.blogspot.com/2010/08/she-turned-me-into-newt.html ) and it reminded me of MY favorite scene from The Holy Grail. So I decided to share it with all of you for a laugh.

Happy Songs

2010-07-24T12:37:00.004-06:00

Here's a post for anyone who needs a bit of a cheer up. Some happy, pick-me-up songs for you:

Ok, maybe the last one isn't really a cheer up, happy song (Midnight Train), but it's one that always cheers me up.

-A

Bubbles

2010-07-22T09:46:00.001-06:00

I thought this was funny. If only my brother had been cool enough to blow bubbles with us, the comparison would have been much more funny. Sigh.

Still a youngster at heart.
-A

Things I've realized in the last few weeks.

2010-07-21T17:53:00.001-06:00

So I've been going through a bunch of things in the last few weeks, nothing I'll go into detail about, but it's made me realize some stuff that's pretty important. I figured I'd share some of them with you.

1) When things get cloudy and dark, sometimes you just need a double rainbow to cheer you up. Go here if you don't already know what I'm talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI

2) It helps to be honest.

3) A good doctor is extremely important. If you go to a doctor and you tell them one symptom and they write you a prescription immediately and send you on your merry way... They are not a good doctor. Get a new one. I've recently got a new doctor and she is great. Extremely helpful, kind, thorough, explanatory, and takes her time with her patients. She doesn't get bothered by my many questions if I'm unsure about things, or if something isn't clear she makes sure to explain so I understand. Great doctors like this are hard to find (in Edmonton anyways).

4) The power of putting a smile on someone else's face is indescribable. For me, the ability to put a smile on someone's face, puts a smile on MY face. Try it sometime. Go out of your way to do something nice, whether it be a family member, friend, stranger... I do this often, and it gives me warm fuzzies (perverts). It also creates a nice domino affect. Cheer someone up, there's a good chance their good mood will cheer someone else up, etc, etc.

5) When a medication you are taking advises you not to take any calcium (aka dairy) while on said medication, DO NOT EAT DAIRY. Not even creamer in your coffee. Seriously, don't.

6) No matter how much technology has helped us thus far and has made things so much more easier, efficient, etc, nothing beats snail mail.

7) Sometimes in life you get stuck between a rock and a hard place, and you can't do anything about it. You just have to deal with each separately, and try to stay positive.

8) ..which leads me to this one: TRY TO STAY POSITIVE.

9) #VLAT was fun and should be done on a regular basis.

10) Music is a powerful tool to help you escape, distract you for a little while, or just make you want to forget about everything and dance. (I've realized this a loooong time ago, but figured it was post worthy again).

11) Lastly (because it's hard for me to concentrate on any more right now) Friends are one of the most important things in the WORLD. Never take them for granted. Take their advice (even if you have to take it with a grain of salt sometimes), listen to them. They know you (most of them do anyways). The true ones are just looking out for you and wanting what's best for you. It's these friends that you need to keep close and try not to lose. They help make you who you are, help you through tough times, put a smile on your face, and the trust between true friends is something that is very precious.

Ok. That's enough for now. I leave you with an overly cute picture of a reminder not to upset little Ash (that's my brother as Cookie Monster)
.

The new ink addition

2010-07-11T23:31:00.001-06:00

As promised, I'd post pics on blog once it was all done. The great thing is, my friend (@spencerjmarie) came with me, the tattoo artist is pure AWESOME, and we got to watch Zombieland (which, ironically is the exact amount of time it took to do the tattoo). In the future I'll be adding something to the left of the writing so it's not so straight-lined (something vertical along the spine that semi wraps around the writing perhaps).

Something, dear god write something. (also, Tattoo news)

2010-07-09T23:10:00.000-06:00

Alright. Due to recent events and such and life basically being life, I have not blogged in a while. I haven't even written in ANY of the WiPs in a long while either (don't even get me started...*grumble grumble*). I'm hoping that will change soon. Reeeaaallllyyyyyy hoping, but in these instances I guess only time will tell.

Anyways! Apologies for the lack of posts. I decided to do up a quick one. So as spontaneous as my last one was, I'm getting my next tattoo tomorrow. Yay! I've been wanting to go foreverrr, and then I got laid off and there's the whole 'money woes' (blah, blah, blah - I'm a total penny pincher, financial whiz, so it's hard for me to part with money). But! With everything going on I have decided to splurge and do something for myself.

The tattoo is an excerpt from one of my favorite poems by William Wordsworth, here is the font of what I'm getting:

And then eventually I'm going to (I think) get a large flourish of forget-me-nots (flower) beside it. This bad boy will be going on my shoulder blade (right one).
Originally, I have wanted to get this as a memory/dedication, etc for my grandparents who passed away two years ago, which was an incredibly tough time for me. Now, in light of everything else going on in my life I have come to realize it IS a great piece of prose to apply to a lot of life's hardships.

Anyways. I'm going tomorrow afternoon with @spencerjmarie (on twitter). If you follow me on twitter perhaps there will be a tweetphoto or two... If not I will post on zee blog for sure.

Argh matey! It be the Bickerin' Blogfest post.

2010-06-29T23:16:00.000-06:00

So my lovely scalliwag of a friend, @kristenyard , has decided to host a super awesome blogfest. She be a grand mate o' mine on Twitter, she be. Yargh, a wonderful lass indeed.

For those of you who would like to see my fabulous co punk pirate's blog, it is http://kristen-takeitasitcomes.blogspot.com/ -- Go read all of the other fantastic entries!

For the record - my scene, which is in the 2nd 'book' of a trilogy my friend and I are writing, isn't so much of a friendly bickering as a minor cat fight. (Caught your attention, didn't I?) But no, it's not that great (as in this one hasn't been edited/revised yet), but sadly, me forgetting about the blogfest made for fast action in remembering a good 'bickering' scene. (A warning for the many f-bombs dropped in this one. Lexi can be a little... Well, you'll see)

---------------------------------------------------------

Lexi sat in her parked, running Mustang as she smoked a cigarette and stared out the window. The only light cascading from the darkness was from the dim, overhead street lights. The silence of the night enveloped her; it was nearing 1am, but there was one thing she still needed to do.

The large white house was quiet and there was only one car parked in the driveway. There was no traffic on the street and for a second she worried that no one was home, but she could see the bright light on inside the house. She took one more drag on the cigarette and flicked it out the window before turning off the ignition and stepping out into the brisk air of the night. Standing for a moment and closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly before walking up the sidewalk to the side door.

Raising her already clenched fist, she knocked loudly three times and began pacing as she waited. Faint footsteps were evident as they approached the door from the inside, then the lock sounded and the door swung open.

“What the hell are you doing here,” it came as an obvious statement opposed to a question from Allison as she stood on the other side of the door wearing pink pyjama pants and a matching tank top. Her hair was up in a messy pony tail, but Lexi could tell she hadn’t been sleeping.

Lexi stared at her for a moment before replying, “You know how much you fucked things up?” Lexi asked, her tone coming out unusually even, surprising even herself.

“Excuse me?” Allison replied with a frown as she placed one hand on her hip. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You fucked around with my friends and you don’t even care, do you?” Lexi asked incredulously and let out a low chuckle. “God, Allison I knew you were stupid, but fuck.”

Allison looked taken back by the comment, but glared at Lexi with venom. “Don’t call me stupid. You can get the hell out of here and take your ridiculous accusations with you.”

She began to close the door, but Lexi stepped forward and placed her hand on it to stop. “You screwed around with Reid and hurt him bad. And of course you had to fuck around with one of his best friends too, God Allison, you’re such a tramp! How could you do that to Reid?”

Allison stood shocked for a brief moment before she recovered and returned her iced expression.

“I’M the tramp? Geez Lexi, practice what you preach…” She laughed out loud as she brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face, obviously showing no remorse for any of it.

“You fucked with too many people, and now look what happened. Stay away from Reid or any of my friends or I swear to God I’ll hunt you down myself,” Lexi spat, staring Allison down while trying to control the clenching of her fists at her side.

Allison only laughed, unfazed by her words. “Is that a threat from little Lexi? Get the fuck off my property.”

“I mean it Allison, stay away from him. You’ve hurt him bad enough already, he sure as hell doesn’t deserve it. Ever since you came into the picture you messed everything up.” Lexi started to turn then, figuring that she had said all she came to say, but Allison replied back without missing a beat.

“Are you sure that was me? I think you’ve done all of that yourself Lexi. You’re the one who was hurting poor Reid, leading him on and messing with him. You think I really hurt him? You’ve been doing that all on your own because-“

Before Allison could finish, Lexi found herself lunging forward and throwing a punch right at the blonde’s face. It was done in a matter of seconds, but Lexi couldn’t even remember stepping foot inside the house until her mind came back to reality and Allison’s hands were up at her cheek. She cursed loudly while shoving Lexi back outside.

“Get the fuck out of here you stupid cunt! I’m going to call the cops on you and have you charged with assault!” Allison screamed at her from the threshold, but Lexi only frowned and shrugged carelessly as she began walking backwards towards her awaiting car.

“Go ahead. Won’t be around anyway,” she replied back just as Allison slammed the door shut. After inhaling a deep breath, Lexi walked briskly back to her Mustang, mildly satisfied with the small outcome.

River Valley Funny

2010-06-27T16:18:00.001-06:00

So, earlier the bf and I went for a nice long walk down in the River Valley. I had my camera to take pretty picture of things and stuff and at one point there was an elderly lady walking ever so slowly up the huge stairs. My initial plan: Take video of old lady walking and make something awesome when I get home. New plan: Fast jogger lady decided to storm the stairs like it was nobody's business. In my head I had a plan. And here I have showcased EXACTLY what was going on in my head at that exact moment.

For the record, I have no idea who any of these people are.

Team Lizash at the Ledge

2010-06-25T21:59:00.001-06:00

My lovely Lizzie Bear and I hung out today at the legislature grounds, and had a fantastic time (I heart her). Here is a small taste of our awesomeness (go team Lizash). (Also, I have collaborated the video with fun music!)

Haunted - Kelley Armstrong (get 'er done, Ash)

2010-06-18T11:41:00.000-06:00

It's all about procrastination, right? Enter random book post of my frustration.

First, let me say that I'm the type of person who goes through a HUGE reading binge (while procrastinating the writing), where I'll read nearly a book per day for about a week. Then the reading spurt subsides and off to writing frenzy it is. Actually, a couple weeks ago I read 4 books in 4 days (Rachel Vincent shifter series - amazing!). Anyways, seeing as this writing procrastination has been lasting a LOT longer than I could ever imagine (or want), I've been reading a ton. Now I'm stuck.

Second, I must say I love Kelley Armstrong's writing and Otherworld series. (The fact that she is Canadian makes her even better! Represent!) Anyways, a friend recommended Bitten a while ago (first book of this series). I was looking for good shifter books for inspiration and things. Anyways, FLEW through Bitten, instantly grabbed up Stolen and flew through that as well. Then with Dime Store Magic , I was a little leery because it switched narrators at this point. I'll admit, I'm not HUGE on the whole narrator switch (especially in the same book), and was a little dubious in the fact that this one was focusing on a witch's POV now. (I wanted shifters damnit. Bring back the werewolves!) But to my surprise I really enjoyed this book and also the next one, Industrial Magic. Then I got to Haunted...

Now, to be fair my friend who recommended the series WARNED me about this book and said I could borrow it instead of spending money to buy (if I like a book/series, I always buy it). She warned me this one was hard to get through and probably the worst one of the series. And I'm not huge on the whole 'ghosty/paranormally' novels. Then the lay offs happened (this friend is someone I had worked with) and haven't seen her since then so I DID buy it. Oy. I don't know if it's my non-interest in ghosty things or what, but I am STRUGGLING to get through this one. But it's one of those series where you NEED to read the book, because there will be things referenced in later ones. *Sigh*.

It's not that it's bad writing... Maybe it's hard for me to relate because the MC in this one is, I'm guessing in her 40s (I'm 23). Although, the male MC Kristof, well he's an alright vision in my head. It could be the whole fact that she's a ghost and it's all about HER on the "other side". There isn't a lot of action, mainly just a mission that keeps taking her in circles and blah blah.

Seriously struggling. I'm on page... *grabs book from coffee table to see*... 227/448. If I'm really into a book I will continue reading it until I'm DONE (one of those "can't put the book down" people). This one I've mainly been reading in the tub. I'm trying though. Really, I am! I can't WAIT to get to the next book (bring back the werewolves! YES. Can't wait.)

Although, I DO have to admit that there has been one exciting part in this book for me because it involved PIRATES. My reaction: YES!! And then the pirates were done and it's back to trudging through. I'm hoping the plot picks up or at LEAST gives me some action here.

Even with 'the dud', I HIGHLY recommend Kelley Armstrong's Otherworld series. (besides Haunted), her writing is fantastic, plot lines are great, and her characters are really well written (Gotta love Clay... *dreamy sigh*)

-A

Twitterview #4 - @stygldpnyby

2010-06-15T22:07:00.001-06:00

Well, it's about time I ventured back to the Twitterviews... I have to say that this one is one of my FAVORITE ladies, be that in Twitter OR in person, I <3 her. With that said, I'd like to introduce you all to:

@stygldpnyby

Q: How did you come about blessing the Twitter World with your presence? (AKA – When/Why did you start up a Twitter account?)
A: I started it up in February of 2009. I was just reading a lot about this Twitter site and decided to check it out. Pretty simple!

Q: What consists of an average day in the life of Liz?
A: Average day of the jobless wonder would consist of waking up (hopefully) early (meaning no later than 9:30), treadmilling it up, working on Physics by correspondence, eating at some point, usually running a couple errands, getting distracted countless times, and usually hanging out with someone in the evening.

Q: What is the last movie you rented and what did you think about it?
A: Tristan and I watched this Korean film called ‘Biyeolhan Geori’, translated into ‘A Dirty Carnival’. It was great. I really enjoy foreign films. I find them to be… I don’t know… less about the gimmicks and explosions and poo jokes and more about the story, characters, character development, etc.

Q: You look up at the clock and, yikes! It’s lunch time! What are you craving?
A: Hmm. Well, it doesn’t matter what I’m craving because I usually just end up eating leftovers! Ideally though, I’d eat Subway every day.

Q: If there was a type of person that could be wiped from this world, what type would you want it to be?
A: Very good question! I would say… hm. small-minded people. Those who are unwilling to open their minds and learn about and potentially even accept things that are different from what they’re used to. Like, somebody just having the mentality that ‘You’re wrong, I’m right, and since I’m right, I don’t even want to hear what you have to say.’. Those kinds of people are extremely frustrating to deal with.

Q: It’s 10.00pm on a Thursday night. What are you doing?
A: Let me check back on my 5 year journal and let you know what I typically do on Thursday nights… June 10th: nothing, apparently. I did a physics experiment on waves. June 3rd: Was at Tristan’s at 10pm. May 27th: Hung out with Tristan. Conclusion: usually, I am with Tristan on a Thursday at 10pm.

Q: If you had to describe yourself (and you do) in 3 words, what would they be?
A: Gypsy Punk Revolution!

Q: What is your least favorite household chore and why?
A: Vacuuming because it’s too loud, and because I have a hard time spelling vaccum. vaccuum. Vacuum? Ah, yes.

Q: You’re sitting around, playing on Twitter and suddenly you smell smoke. Oh no! The bathroom has suddenly caught fire! What 3 things would you be most upset about losing?
A: I’d be upset about losing my wonderful MacBook, (so very clichéd, but true for this next one) my countless photo albums and photos, and lastly, I’d be upset about losing Quatchi! He’s very special to me.

Q: Phew! It turns out the bathroom fire was only a dream. You wake up in a cold sweat from the horrific nightmare. What do you do?
A: Go pee, have a drink of water, and go back to sleep.

Q: If there was one animal you could have and train to be your own personal minion, what would it be and why?
A: “minion: a follower or underling of a powerful person, esp. a servile or unimportant one.”
Yes, I had to look that up (I do that with words that I sometimes need clarification on). Well I guess it’d have to be a Dik Dik. David Attenborough introduced me to them while I was watching Life of Mammals. They’re these adorable deer-like animals, but they are extremely small. Like, they only come up 40 cm, max. I’m pretty sure @steenyweeny was talking about them a while ago. I’d want a Dik Dik specifically because they’re damn cute and I’m sure it’d let me cuddle with it or something. I would name it Popcorn. Yes.

Q: Say something in Ukrainian.
A: This will be difficult because we use a different alphabet, which I don’t have on my compy, so here goes using English letters:
Koly ya bula mala divchyna, Ya bavylysya z robotim tsiloho den.
(When I was a little girl, I played with robots all day long.)

Q: Ok, so that last one wasn’t a question. What foreign language is the sexiest in your eyes (ears)?
A: I don’t think I’ve ever really thought of that. I guess Spanish. I took it when I briefly was at Grant MacEwan in the Fall of ’07, and thoroughly enjoyed hearing it all around me when I was in Mexico last month.

Q: What is your biggest pet peeve (or one of them)?
A: Wet. Socks. Ugh.

Q: Is there anything you would like to share with the rest of the class?
A: Umm. *slouches into desk*. Nope.

Q: Lastly, who is the last person you @ replied to on Twitter and why should we follow them?
A: That would be @cfskinner and he’s a self-described ‘traditional skin’. He’s incredibly nice, knows so so much about GOOD music (we had a great little discussion about Desmond Dekker last week), and he’s located right here in jolly old #yeg. So… follow him!

Playlists4Writing - Talkin' bout ROMANCE (ish)

2010-06-14T23:50:00.001-06:00

So, seeing as Twitter is broken (SERIOUSLY broken, I give up!), I decided I would run up a post.

I'm pretty sure all you writers out there are like me in the sense that music is a good helper/inspirer for you and your WiPs (no matter how small the music plays a part). I think I will do a blog post every now and then with a list of songs related to a certain mood/genre/action, etc, for any of y'all who would like to cruise on by and see if any of them strike your fancy. I know I LOVE finding new songs that click something in the back of my head and makes me go "OH. I can use this. I think a scene is beginning to form for later use... Muahaha!"

Anyways, tonight's topic of choice is *gasp* ROMANCE (or... more physical forms of such things). Here are a few to get you going (heh. Not literally, perverts!)

1) Roads - Portishead (I've said it before, and I will include this bloody song in any playlist! Fantastic.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQYsGWh_vpE

2) Playground Love - Air (You may recognize this song from the Virgin Suicides. Very slow, sweet, something that can be applied to multiple scenes.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAgX1jO3No0

3) Crazy on You - Heart (Ok, so Heart is one of my fav bands, and this song just proves why. Faster for those more intense romantic, passionate type scenes.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZuW6BH_Vak

4) Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event (How can you not love this song. It's just so cute. True story - inspired a scene I otherwise wouldn't have thought of for one of my WiPs.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJi2z3tGKIg

5) How Can You Mend a Broken Heart - Al Green (Confession: I hardly listen to this song. But came across it on my iTunes. I hear Al Green is pretty good when talking about this genre.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO6Rknx5xyI

6) Colorblind - Counting Crows (This, by far, has got to be one of my favorite ever 'slower' songs for the... more 'physical' (GENTLE physical, not.. sigh.. anyways,) romantic dealings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0s7ycdUcHk

7) I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie (This song is just so overly cute, I had to include it.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6XZsau7CSk

8) Lucky You - Deftones (Ok, strangely enough, YES this did inspire a physically enhanced {perhaps not as 'romantic'} scene for a WiP of mine, though it may have been a drug induced-like scene. Nonetheless, I couldn't have a playlist without including Deftones.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80wz3_CAlg4

9) Ride A White Horse - Goldfrapp (Ok, confession again, yes I have used this scene in the mood of choice. Hey, I'm going for variety, ok?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8Qw8gN4uag

10) Iris - Goo Goo Dolls (What can I say... A cute classic.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-scESgTnoUM

11) Wicked Game - Chris Isaak (Another slow, lovely song. Though I do like HIM's rocked out version better, figured this one would apply more for the post.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oaHHrNQVrg

12) Fade into You - Mazzy Star (Mazzy Star is another main one for me and writing. This song has also inspired me for a scene. A great, slow one.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF0lRYhhiwI

13) Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers (What can I say, I love this song. Though, I do have to point out that it MAY possibly be because of the spoof in Naked Gun 2 1/2.....)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6xb_ddP4nM

14) Paint the Silence - South (Suuuuuuch a cute song. I absolutely love this one.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qIyUpCPVkI&feature=related

I think that's enough for now. What do you guys think? Should I do up a specified playslist post every now and then? Any specific mood/genre anyone is looking for? Let me know!

Happy writing :)
-A

Can't sleep. Late night musings.

2010-06-11T01:47:00.001-06:00

Day: Friday.. or is it Thursday..? June.. the.. something... *heavy sigh* I'm so unemployed...
Time: Well, according to the little clock on the bottom right, it's 1.25am.
Current Mood: Le sigh.

Well, it's been happening all too much lately - I can't sleep. Not even my beloved make-me-fall-asleep-listening-no-matter-what playlist can't help me tonight. The song that never fails to put this little chickadee in slumber's eye isn't even doing it's job. (Into Dust by Mazzy Star). All I can think about the lyrics.

Still... fallinggggg.
Breathless and on again.
Inside todayyy
Inside me todayyy
Arounddd brokennn in two

I went to bed an hour ago. Laid in the dark, waiting for the playlist to do its job while forcing my eyes closed. Nothing. Zip. Nada. So up I got, stumbling blindly into the living room to get some water, then out to the balcony for a smoke. Now I'm sitting in my all-too-dark (*cough* creepy *cough*) living room, laptop screen GLARING oh, so brightly in my face, while the ipod sings in my ear (yes, still have that 'sleepy time/inspire for writing' playlist going. Maybe it will kick in soon...). Even with the music blaring in my ears, I can still hear our ~~beloved~~ annoying kitchen clock ticking ever so loudly. Has it always been this loud!? Dear god.

*turns volume up on ipod*

So, to be honest, I don't even know where I'm going with this post. I'm being honest, alright?? (2 points for honesty). I can't sleep. My eyelids are so heavy, yet my mind won't shut off. I could write in the WiP, but I'm afraid it won't make any sense (much like this blog post I presume), and when I wake up in the morning I'll smack myself and delete.

Phew! I must say, thank god for @nataliexmurphy . She's still up and we're tweeting loopy nonsense to each other. Must be an Albertan insomnia wave. Hey, at least we have each other. If you want to see her super awesome, random, loopy blogpost of the middle of the night, check it out here: http://bit.ly/a5If89

Do any of you ever have so much flowing through your mind at mach 1 that it just will NOT shut up to let you sleep? The mind, our greatest friend, our greatest foe. Usually the music will help for me. If I can't sleep I let the ipod play and after a few songs I catch myself waking up to something playing 10 songs later. "Umm.. I guess I fell asleep...?" Most of the time I will nudge myself awake somehow so I can pull out the earphones and sleep safely (there may have been a time or two.. or more.. where I have fallen asleep with music playing and woke up to the headphone cord wrapped around my neck. I know, I know, *bad Ashley!!*)

Sometimes tea helps. I have a cupboard STOCKED full of tea (I'm worse than an 80 yr old woman, I swear). Amongst that stock is my beloved Sleepy Time tea, which sometimes actually does help (not lately).

Alcohol is a no-brainer "sleep aid", but we're trying to stay away from doing that anymore.

I won't take sleeping pills. I had before when I was going through some things and had some SERIOUS insomnia action going on, but then you can become reliant on them. I don't like taking pills if I don't have to.

What else...? What are YOUR helpful tips for getting to sleep?

Ok, better end here before I start talkin' crazy (a tired, sleep-lacking Ash is one who confuses many). Plus I'm REALLY starting to get creeped out by the fact that the only light in this whole place is coming from my laptop screen and I can't see anything in the darkness surrounding me...

Now where's that gnome with the magic sleepy dust?

-A

When it rains, it pours.

2010-06-09T09:19:00.008-06:00

So I'm really, really bad at taking my own advice. Like, really bad. I've always been good for those inspirational, sympathetic, comforting words when someone is down. I can whip a frown upside down in seconds (usually), make someone laugh when they're about to cry, pick someone up when they're falling.

But what am I supposed to do with myself? It's not like I can hold myself up (literally), or look into the mirror and make stupid faces until I start giggling (ok, maybe I can, and/or have, but it's besides the point).

I'm quite an introverted person when it comes to dealing with my own issues. I don't like to bother others with my own problems or make them worry about me. I mean, come on. Goofy, fun-loving, joke-cracking, perverted Ash? No, no. I can't let THAT rep. fall, are you kidding me?

It's not a bad thing. I will deal with things eventually, within time. Everything will be ok in the end and all that jazz.

I feel with like how the weather has been lately, it's really matching my mood. I used to always joke that my mood controls the weather, because whenever I would be in a crappy place it would rain and storm and be all gloomy. I'm really starting to believe it! (Ok, I know what y'all or thinking - my mood is probably because of the weather, not the other way around. Hey, let me at least THINK I have some kind of supernatural powers! Please? Humor me, folks.)

For me, it always feels like when it rains, it pours (speaking metaphorically now). Usually I can just ignore it when I sense it happening and be on my merry way. But sometimes those sneaky clouds just come in too fast.

(photo courtesy of crazy summer YEG storm and my Blackberry)

When things get like this I tend to hermit up, act like nothing is wrong, and deal with it myself. Sometimes you can just wait for the clouds to start clearing.

No matter what though, the sun will always find it's way to sneak through the clouds, no matter how dark they may seem. You just have to hang in there and soon enough you'll see a sliver of sun starting to stick through the darkness.

If you're lucky, and you're in the right spirits you may even get something like this:

Or even this:

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that no matter how down you feel, no matter how far deep you think you have dug underground, no matter how dark the world may seem, that sun will always shine through. Just hang in there and in the end, there will be nothing but blue skies again.

(All photos are that of my own and the trusty BB)

-A

Robot Short Story - This'll show him.

2010-06-07T15:15:00.001-06:00

So, earlier this morning I had tweeted that I was up and doing some early morning writing. I was ready, I had my coffee, and I was so ready to tackle some scenes in my WiP. Then, the little shit (@TysonDueck , if you want to know) decided to tweet something in reply saying, and I quote,

"TysonDueck : @AshleyTenille Write me a short story. Preferrably one about a robot that falls in love. And I want a twist ending!"

So, instead of replying to his smart ass reply with my own smart ass reply, I decided to show him up. Ditching the writing I SHOULD have been working on, I opened up a new word doc and spit this little number out in about 15 mins.

This will teach you to mess with me Tyson! Didn't think I would, did ya?

----

“Please… Don’t… leave… me…”

It could talk. She didn’t know how, she didn’t know why, but it could talk.

Her head whipped around so fast she felt a bone crack in the side of her neck, but she ignored the brief pain and stared at it with wide eyes.

“You… you… But you’re just a bunch of metal and screws… It’s not possible…” she stammered, eyeing up the intricate parts that had been put together specifically to make this life sized robot. Sure it could move; its job was to deactivate bombs and pick up hard to reach items. But its makeshift eyes were unblinking, it had no heart to beat or to feel, and it had no lips to speak.

“Anything. is. possible. Sharon. You. of. all. people. should. know. that. by. now.”

Its voice was quiet and spoke on one computer-like level. Its metallic jaw moved slightly as it spoke.

“…How?” Sharon fell to her knees from weakness, only a few feet away from the mangled robot. She wiped a hand across her brow, smudged with black from the recent explosion. As she took in their surroundings, the broken structures that had once been a building, she felt like she was in a dream world.

“Just. because. I. have. no. heart. does. not. mean. I. cannot. feel,” the robot continued, snapping her attention back to the pile of metal. The shine was dulled by the soot marks, and she knew it was missing one of its specially designed arms that was created to pick apart the smallest of wires and was even equipped with a small camera on the end of its fingers.

This wasn’t possible. She must be delirious from the explosion.

“You’re… you’re just a bunch of parts… You can’t talk…” she sputtered and felt her shoulders slump.

The robot’s head twitched to the side and a red light started blinking sporadically on its chest.

“I.... Feel.” Its monotone voice continued as its right arm moved at an odd angle.

The red light started blinking faster.

“It. is. why. I. have. to. do. this. It. is. the. only. way. It. is. what. I. have. been. programmed. to. do. in. this. situation. I. am. beyond. repair. I. know. that.”

A frown flickered across Sharon’s face as the realization hit her. Her eyes focused on the rapid flicker of the red light and she began to feel her eyes well up. A large tear fell and slid down her cheek.

“No…” she whispered and began crawling towards the robot, ignoring the piercing pain in her injured shoulder. He couldn’t do it, she couldn’t let him…

Its right arm twitched again, but this time it didn’t stop jerking from side to side. “I cannot.. stop it. It is what.. I am programmed.. to do. Farewell Sharon. Thank you. For. Showing. A. Robot. How to… Love.”

At that moment the blinking stopped and shone a solid red. Sharon’s eyes widened and her hand gripped around one of the robot’s cool, metal legs. A shrill beeping sounded from the complicated pile of masterfully designed parts, a creation that had taken years to master before it could be put in the field.

The robot blew up in a loud, ear-splitting self destruction. The engineers had created the robot to do exactly that when it was damaged beyond repair so that the enemies couldn’t steal any of their workmanship.

The last thing Sharon heard was the nearly human, screaming sound come from the robot before she was blown to pieces by the robot's self destruction.

The end.
-I also have to mention that this was all just for fun. I'm not expanding on this or anything, just proving a point! :P

Dream Scene Blogfest!

2010-06-04T10:42:00.001-06:00

Confession: This is my first EVER blogfest submission, thanks to my lovely CP @CourtneyReese86 whose raving about them convinced me to give 'er a go. I also have to thank @kristenyard for "guiding" me this morning in posting, since I'm such a blogfest virgin. Arrr ye always have me back, mate!

What this one is about: Congrats @AmaliaTd , for being the one who caught my eye and drove me to sign up! Her fantastic idea for a Dream Scene blogfest is what got me to sign up. Check out her awesome blog (and all of the other great writers who signed up for this at http://hellia.blogspot.com/ .!

Ok, just smidgen of info for my submission - it's a scene in a 3rd novel of a 'trilogy' my friend and I have been collaborating on back and forth through email for the past three years or so. This series started out as something to pass the time (we did the same back in high school, passing a binder back and forth between classes, collaborating on stories), and now it's turned into 3 joined stories.

Fact: I was actually going to use a different scene for this, but this morning I woke up and decided to go with this one instead. Not sure why... maybe because it's the reference of 'zombies'.

Without further ado, here's my scene:

     “Reid! Reid, help! …You have to help me!”
      Reid’s attention snapped to his left, struggling to focus on the irregular, matching faces of the crowded club. Everyone looked the same; everyone had the similar meaningless expressions on their face as they danced to the wonky, disruptive rhythm of the music pouring from the speakers surrounding them all in the high energy club.
      He could hear her. He couldn’t recognize the stuttering, fuzzy sound beating all around him, or the loud, screaming noises of the waves of people in front, behind and beside him. But he could hear her. She was calling for him.
      “Lexi! Lexi, where are you? I can’t see you!” He heard himself shouting back frantically, but he couldn’t feel his lips moving. He frowned at the realization in the back of his head, but disregarded it as his eyes flew over the zombie-like bodies moving at odd angles to the music.
      “REID.” Her voice sounded to his immediate right, as if she were right beside him. His head snapped towards her in an instant, and he just caught a glimpse of the back of her head, with her long flowing dark hair before she disappeared among the multiple expressionless zombies.
      “Lexi!” Reid called again, spinning around in a circle while frowning to himself at what was happening.       The music changed beat and seemed to be melting through the speakers and the bodies surrounding him immediately slowed to match the beat, moving in wave-like motions that almost hypnotized him on the spot.
      “Reid, over here!” He heard Lexi’s voice again, behind him now, and he spun around to see her. He actually spotted her, only a few feet away. She looked frightened. Her face was unnaturally pale and she was staring at him with worried eyes.
      “Lexi! Hang on,” Reid called and moved to take a step towards her, but as soon as he did a large group of people, the lookalike zombies, materialized out of nowhere and walked in front of him, separating him from getting to Lexi. He struggled to push past them, shouting and shoving, but it was almost like they were made of cement and didn’t even bat an eye toward him at his motions.
      “Help me, Reid!”
      He could hear her, further away this time. When he spun ninety degrees to the left, he spotted her across the dance floor, across the huge mob of dancing...things. How did she get over there so fast? What was happening?
      Reid’s mind was numb of the answers, but he was about to dive into the mob of people to get to her. They seemed to be multiplying in the hot, crowded club. The strobe lights going off made it hard to see and when he glanced back to judge his movements, Lexi was gone.
      “Reid, please… help. You have to help me,” her voice seemed to echo so clearly, as if only her hushed were were audible to him and the blaring music was only mindless background noise.
      “Where are you? Lexi, I can’t… I can’t see you, just please, tell me where you are,” Reid pleaded out loud, desperate as his eyes flew over the pale faces surrounding him. They all looked so similar... None acknowledging anything around them, only swaying with blank expressions on their faces.
      “Reid,” her voice whispered from behind, her lips only a breath away from his ear. He reached out before he even turned around, and grabbed onto her. When he spun around to face her, before his eyes could confirm her presence, finally with him, a sharp pain dug into his right shoulder, knocking Lexi from his grasp.
      “Reid!”

Writer's "Block" (but not)

2010-05-26T09:18:00.001-06:00

Last night, talking with my newest Twitter friend/writer friend/fellow Albertan (@nataliexmurphy), the subject of Writer's Block (but not) came up and led me to one of her blog posts regarding the ~~terrifying~~ ~~annoying~~ subject. I've been going through the same thing for the past little while, and boy is it frustrating. But after @nataliexmurphy led me to her blog post, I found there were many comments from multiple people. (If you would like to check out her post & the great comments, go here: http://nataliemurphy.blogspot.com/2010/05/is-writing-best-way.html )

It made me reflect on my own writer's ~~block~~ ~~procrastination~~ ~~stubbornness~~ STRUGGLES. From reading everyone's comments on her post, I felt RELIEVED in the fact that I'm not the only one going through this. There were many great ideas and suggestions to drive past it, but I'm not entirely sure what it is I'm trying to drive past. At first I thought it was the Block, but I don't have the lack of ideas floating around in my mind. And I definitely don't have the lack of time to write (quick update on the layoff situation - yes, still jobless...). Thought it could have been procrastination, but it feels more like I'm being stubborn with myself. Or that I WANT to write (god, do I ever), but when I sit down and try to get myself to do it, I don't. It's almost as if the front of my brain, my immediate thoughts, is to WRITE, now! And the back of my mind, the "hidden" thoughts, are like 'do this instead, do that, do you REALLY want to write right now?'

I want to kill that voice.

I don't know why ANY part of my brain would try to defer me from writing. I love to write. ALL of me! So this whole struggle is very unfamiliar and very frustrating. It feels like all I want to do is RUN, but my feet are glued to the floor. Sure, I've had my share of the "block", but this is different. I think (like @nataliexmurphy) I have too much personal stress/anxiety going on that it is taking over all of my mental and emotional efforts that I need to put into my writing, so maybe that ~~part of my brain~~ stupid voice is trying to tell me that I need to deal with other things before I can focus on writing something new. There is nothing wrong with taking a break and putting things on hold to deal with something else (I have done it before), but it shouldn't take this long. I'm bad for giving advice and not listening to myself on it - if you force yourself to write when something is holding you back, you won't be happy with what comes out and it will feel too FORCED. That is how I feel. You just won't be happy with what came out and will most likely change it when you're back on that writing train later on.

Boy, I want to be back on that train. Anyone have a spare ticket? I've been doing a bit better lately, but it feels like I'm sitting on that train while it's not moving. I want to go for a ride.

A few of the suggestions involved reading. I admit, I usually go into 2 phases - a writing ~~frenzy~~ phase, and a reading phase. I'll write like made for a couple months, then the train stops for some sightseeing - this is when I enter the reading phase. Which, I guess is still productive because a writer NEEDS to read. It's in reading where we gather more knowledge that makes us better writers. A couple weeks ago, I got REALLY into a new series and read 4 books in 4 days (series is Rachel Vincent 'Shift' series in case you are wondering) and read countless writing blogs/posts/tips. If that isn't a reading frenzy I don't know what is. But that is what I generally do, I spit out multiple pages in writing, stop or slow down, and then read an insane amount. I call it entering my reading mode.

So how long is TOO long to not be spitting out writing pages like mad? I got laid off 2 months ago (I can't believe it's been that long...) and one of my thoughts when I got laid off was "YAY. I can have so much time to WRITE." And yet I've hardly done any. Why?! Sometimes (and this is probably just for me) I have to sit myself down (like a bad child going to 'time out') and FORCE myself to write. "Alright Ash, you are going to SIT here until SOMETHING shows up on that page."

Last night it worked (kind of). I managed to write (even though it was only half a page *cough cough*), but overcoming that ~~small~~ large hump of writer's... whatever you want to call it... felt GOOD. I don't care that it was only half a page - it was the first part written for chapter 1 of my new WiP (had previously written a prologue, then stopped), so in my mind it is a HUGE obstacle overcome. I feel like now that I have that initial "start", now I can just continue. If that makes sense.

Anyways, this ramble has gone on long enough. I'm curious - what are YOUR solutions to being STUCK with your writing?

-A

For your writing inspirational needs!

2010-05-20T22:36:00.003-06:00

Ok, I've been a baaaaad girl and haven't updated my bloddigy boo in some time. But! I will make it up to you all, I promise!

Firstly, I'm VERY excited to say that I have been dabbling and progressing with my new WiP that I have dubbed The Violet Hour. Yes, I'm weird and for some reason I always come up with the perfect title while plotting a new WiP, without having any words down! *brushes imaginary dust off of shoulder* And with the fantastical boost of AWESOME from my Critter (@CourtneyReese86), I have giddily dived (dove?) back into it. *confetti everywhere!*

And with this renewed vigor for my new WiP, I have gathered some great new inspiring writing songs, and I will share a handful with you. Enjoy!

God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash
Unstoppable - E.S. Posthumus (for those intense scenes)
You Got Me All Wrong - Dios Malos
Eden - Hooverphonic (always one of my favorites for writing)
Requiem For a Tower - Clint Mansell (always fantastic for INTENSENESS!!!)
The Handshake - MGMT
Panic Prone - Chevelle
This is Your Life - Low vs Diamond
Lucky You - Deftones (another all time fav.)
(while I'm at it..) Minerva - Deftones (another great one)
Death of a Party - Blur
Chemtrails - Beck
#1 Crush - Garbage
Bulletproof - Kerli (MUCH thanks to @CourtneyReese86 for introducing me to Kerli. This song has totally inspired an incredible scene in my head for later on in TVH :) <3)
Glory Box - Portishead (Couldn't do a writing playlist w/o some Portishead - one of my fav bands for writing. This one is a good slow, perhaps sexy scene song)
Krwlng - Linkin Park (one of my fav LP remixes of one of their best songs 'Crawling'. Both versions are scenes in my WiP.. or will be...)
Bad Romance (cover) - 30 Seconds to Mars (rawr! Much love to @kristenyard for introducing me to THIS one today. Absolutely love the version by these guys. Possible WiP scenes swirling while listening to it)
The Infinite - Dargaard (a dark kinda song)
Into Dust - Mazzy Star (another long time fav)

-A

Kleenex, Vitamin C, and a pouty Ash

2010-04-28T10:19:00.001-06:00

Blegh! Someone made me sick. I have to find someone to blame, but it's not going so well. Started with a sore throat, then suddenly the next day it spread into every possible part of my head. After a HORRIBLE night's sleep (if I can call it that) I am now sitting on the couch in my pjs, covered in my blanky, with kleenex shoved up my nose. I'm sexy like that.

So anyways, what's new with me you ask? Well the other day I OFFICIALLY enrolled for Reeves College's Graphic Design program for the fall. Gadzooks! I am "technically" a student? I know, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. The good thing is that since I enrolled, I have secured myself a spot for the fall semester and if something happens during the summer, I can pull out with no penalty before classes start. And the other good news, is that the class is filling up quick for fall, but they top their class size for this program at 12 students. 12! That sounds wonderful. So now I just have to work on finding a job that I would be able to work part time while in school. Wish me luck, I'll need it.

I have to take this opportunity to mention @MauStCha (twitter) for what a fantastic friend she is. She's like this ray of sunshine and support group, confidante, all rolled into one. She's been super in keeping my spirits up, giving me encouraging words and praise all while going through her own stuff! No matter what she's going through, she always manages to shoot me an email with a supportive spirit (even though lately I haven't been great at reciprocating these emails as quickly as I should!).

Also, I would like to mention my fab crit partner @CourtneyReese86 - what a lovely diamond in the ruff I have found! She's helped me find my renewed drive for my new WiP and has been grinding some plot details that I haven't been able to hash out with anyone. She's a great writer and fantastic friend, and the best crit partner I could have asked for!

Well, I should go and get some more juice into me and find some soothing lotion for my poor nose. I shall leave you all with this question:

What is your best remedy for a cold? Without caving in to the multiple cold medicines of the drug world. I'd appreciate any answers you can give!

-A

In the Life of Ash - College? Really?

2010-04-17T08:55:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I had a meeting with the student advisor at Reeves College. One of the first things I noticed with talking to a couple Reeves people over the phone and from my meeting yesterday, these people are all so nice. (1 point). They're also very helpful and considerate of individual situations (1 point). For those who didn't know from Twitter, I've been looking into their graphic design program and met with a lady yesterday to get more information and ask any questions I had to make a valid (and oh so serious and life changing) decision.

Something ironic - one of the girls I had worked with (who also got laid off with all of us), had enrolled at Reeves college (for a medical assistant, or something like that in the health field). She agreed with how wonderful all of the people seem there.

Anyways, their program seems really great. I'm kind of excited at the possibility of enrolling for this program (and school in general!) - I'm glad it's strictly graphic design and computer-related courses, because if it was like the Grant Mac program (which includes multiple hand-drawn projects, portfolios I believe, I would be so screwed. With all my awesome quirks and personality traits and my ability to use words to write fantastic things, I was left out of the 'artistic', drawing, sketching gene of my family {my brother got that}). So in other words, phew! Dodged that bullet. (1 point)

I have lots to think about now. I'm pretty sure I really, really want to take this program. The opportunities from taking it are fairly wide open (1 point) and one of the main selling points for me is that it's something creative, different day to day - I need a career that would keep my creative juices flowing and keep me intrigued. I can't do the robot work thing anymore - punching in numbers, doing the SAME thing day to day, boring work. I think it's time I need to really jump the gun and do something I want to do. (1 point - for the creativeness).

So, summing up the goods - great program, great people, they help at the end of the program to soup up your resume and find work at a company you would really like (2 points).

The downsides include the tuition - it is about 12,000$ (I nearly dropped to the floor when she mentioned this - I'm such a financial wizard, careful with my spendings, not liking to lay down lots of cash on things... When I bought my car a few weeks ago, that was a strike in the heart enough!). I don't know if this tuition is normal or what the tuitions are like nowadays (it's been a while since I have seriously looked into post secondary full time.. like 5 years people), but the good thing is that this cost covers tuition AND the text books. (-1 for $, but +1 for including text books). I hear text books really kill students.

I would need to take out a student loan. One plus is that I at least have 3 years of the Rutherford scholarships from high school (I think it totals to 2,500$) and I could very well be applicable for other bursaries, scholarships or grants. Who knows! I think they help with that too, when you enroll, it automatically searches for what bursaries, grants, etc, apply to you. Really? When did that happen? From what I remember, students had to physically research and find scholarships that they could possibly be eligible for and write into them, hoping they would receive or win or whatever. Grueling process, trying to find anywhere that would give you the $ to help you pay off your skyrocketing tuition. But from what I gathered yesterday, they will look for you... How do they know if my grampa served in WWII? (I think there's probably some kind of scholarship for that, who knows). Any thoughts?

Also a painstaking thought is juggling school, work, $, etc, etc. *hyperventilate*. I think one of the worst processes would be trying to find a job that would let me work full time throughout the summer, knowing that I would have to switch to part time in the fall. The course runs 1-5pm Mon-Fri, so I would only be able to work mornings.

Oh - and apparently a lot of things in my life hurt my ability for a student loan (or how much I would be eligible for, rather). 1) I have a savings account. Yes. Of course I do. We grow up having EVERYONE tell us to save money, to squirrel it away, open a savings account, etc, etc. Now I'm going to get dinged because I HAVE one, and according to the gov't I should be using this while in school and watching it dwindle away to nothing. Um, excuse me gov't - this money could be saved for emergencies or for buying a house. It's there for a reason, I haven't used it for a reason. 2) My common law live in boyfriend makes money. So? How else to you expect him to live?? Of course he makes money, and yes I do live with him. So in other words, because he needs to LIVE, I get dinged because he makes money. Nevermind that he has a huge business loan to pay off now (that he just took out a couple weeks ago btw), because he made money last year, this means he should be able to support me while going to school. Apparently the gov't doesn't take into account the fact that we pay rent, bills, and, oh, I don't know, need food?

Anyways. So, lots to think about. The lady (her name is Janice, I guess I can stop calling her 'that girl'), gave me some things to take home and mull over (I mentioned how I need to talk it over with mumsy because she is the woman of all wisdom and helps me out with HUGE decisions like this.) She mentioned, hey, if you want to bring mumsy in next week or something, that's perfectly fine! Maybe she has questions that you haven't asked or forgot to. Ironically, mumsy will be in the city sometime next week and, as elementary as it sounds, I think I'll "bring her in" to discuss all of this more. Hey. My mama knows what's best! And also she's overly excited about the possibility of me going back to school and I mentioned her coming in to the college and she got all excited about that too. I guess it's a good thing because she would understand the things I didn't, ask things I forgot to ask, etc.

Well, I guess I babbled on enough for now. Gotta go shower and such, I have a day filled with bridesmaid dress fittings and shoe shopping. Friend's (@spencerjmarie) wedding is in just over a month, yikes!

Thank you for listening!

-A

Twitterview #3 - @RockstarJodie

2010-04-15T14:46:00.002-06:00

Hello everyone - it's time for my next Twitterview, and my Victim #3 is a superb lady who I've come to adore. She's sweet, sexy, and LOVES Rockstars (the energy drink). Hence her name...

@RockstarJodie

(Side note: Sorry I had to cut your cleavage-endowed boobs from the pic dear friend, but it wouldn't have fit on the laptop screen if I kept them!)

Q: Why did you start up on Twitter?
A: I started up on Twitter about 2 years ago as @PrincessJodie because my ex was on it. It was awesome, but there wasn’t very many people on it at all.

Q: What is involved in an average work day for you?
A: My work day is never the same. That’s what I love about working in a bank. I get to meet many unique individuals and help them by providing them financial advice. Other than that, it’s the typical 8:30am to 5pm job except that I LOVE the people I work with.

Q: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
A: In your pants! Ha. I am kidding (kind of). For real though, I would now have to choose San Diego. I felt so at home while I was there and I would LOVE to live there. It’s so beautiful and there is sun ALL THE TIME!

Q: What is one of your most embarrassing moments?
A: Oh man, it’s so hard to pick just one. I have at least one embarrassing moment happen each day. But if I had to pick one, it would probably have to be when I was in San Diego. I was exploring the city when I was walking down University Ave. I had guys yelling out the window at me and lining up commenting to me as I walked by and I thought to myself, “Damn! Jodie, you are looking mighty fine today. Look at all these guys giving you attention.” I couldn’t understand what they were saying as it was in Spanish, but I only assumed it was something like, “You’re hot!” So I walked into this Mexican store when this guy came in and was speaking Spanish to me and I told him I only spoke English. He asked me if I wanted a ride and I was appalled. Like really? A ride with YOU?! Hell no. So feeling creeped out I went back to Edgar’s place. I was telling some of my friends from San Diego what happened when they told me the area I was walking around in was known for…..
….PROSTITUTES! Can you believe it? Sigh. I didn’t look super “hot,” I looked like I wanted “a ride,” like the guys asked.

Q: If you were going out with the girls, what would you be wearing and where would you go?
A: A dress. I love wearing dresses when I go out. They make me feel so pretty. We always seem to hit up Hudsons. Mostly Hudsons downtown.

Q: What’s your favorite thing to do on a first date?
A: Is this supposed to be a G-Rated interview? Haha. I kid….. A first date. I want it to be something different than the standard dinner and a movie. That’s BORING! Take me bowling. Take me mini-golfing, do something fun and where I can see you relax.

Q: You have zero money to spend, but one of your friends’ birthday is coming up. What do you do?
A: I would pretend to be sick until I had money :) Nah. I wouldn’t worry about it. My friends are cool in the fact that they don’t need me to buy them presents to know that I love them. But I would still arrange to take them out when I finally had money.

Q: We all know you’re fairly tall. What’s the best thing about being so tall?
A: That people notice me. No matter where I go, I never get lost in the crowd.

Q: ..and the worst?
A: People always ask me to grab things off of the shelf when I am out shopping. So now I listen to my iPod so I won’t be disturbed. Ha. Also, short guys always want to date me. No, sorry, I won’t date you. I don’t want people to think I am out with my little brother!!

Q: If you suddenly had the day off tomorrow, what would you spend it doing?
A: I would probably sleep in. Then get caught up on my chores. Boring, I know. But I need to do laundry, organize my clothes and shoes. My shoes are all over the house. I need to stop buying so many….but they are so pretty. I love shoes (just in case you didn’t catch that).

Q: What is one of the most important qualities in a friendship for you?
A: Trust. I give everyone my trust until they do something to make me question it. I expect the same thing in return. I have a great circle of friends that I never have to worry about jealousy or any of that meaningless bullshit. I am very lucky.

Q: What is your favorite thing about ME (@AshleyTenille)?
A: That you are real. A lot of girls are so caddy and uptight. You are funny, smart, and you are friends with me. What more could a girl want from life?

Q: Tell us one thing about yourself that no one would expect:
A: I have a twin….

….HAHA! Gotcha. Suckers. Something about me that no one would expect. Hmmm…that is a tough question. I would probably have to say that I absolutely hate feet. I think they are so disgusting and ugly. Most people find this weird as I love shoes. I just find shoes make feet look pretty by covering them up.

Q: Lastly, who was the last person you replied to on Twitter and why should we follow them?
A: Haha. Unsurprisingly it was YOU! Why anyone should follow you is because you have a damn sexy photo. RAWR!

In the Life of Ash... (update)

2010-04-14T12:08:00.004-06:00

So I've been bad.. real bad.. in not updated my blog. (perverts)

What's going on in the life of Ash? Well, it's been 3 weeks I believe, 3 weeks since being laid off and being sent into a whirlwind of chaos. First week (more like first 2 weeks) was spent dealing with Sunlife benefits, RRSPs, the company I was working for (argh.argh.argh). Dentist appointment, buying out all my prescriptions, boyfriend's birthday... Baby showers, meetings, bank stuff, talking with colleges, and the agency the company set up to help us with our resume.

I've hardly looked at my resume...

Oy, what a couple weeks this has been. I'm wondering now how I got anything done when I was working full time! It's amazing how much stuff you can get done when you have a WEEKDAY to do it. In all honesty, I think most of it has been trying to keep myself busy because every time I thought about everything, I would get stressed, get a tummy ache and pout. So I've been running around like mad (well, maybe not MAD..) getting stuff done, cooking, cleaning (I think that first week I cleaned EVERYTHING spotless. When I'm stressed, I tend to clean.), taking bottles in.. I'm surprised (and proud! Go me!) of everything I'm actually getting done. The lay offs thing has sunk in now and is more of a thing of the past (waves hand in disregard) and now I think I'm stuck in that "in between" place, where I keep putting off my resume because I'm thinking about going to school and if I DO enroll, then the resume build would be different because I'd only work part time, yada yada yada.

What am I looking into you ask? Well in a perfect world, I would be pursuing writing with a vengeance, living up in Paris or somewhere exotic, writing novels and becoming a crazy hermit person. But, in real life sadly, that won't pay the bills and after speaking with a lady from the agency our company provided after being laid off (she helped me figure out what I want to do, etc), I decided writing is something that is MINE and I can always do it in my spare time, as a hobby, and if I get published from that, then great! But being realistic, I doubt I could make a career out of it (almost all writers have at least 2 jobs...)

Anyways, so basically I NEED (must have) something creative in a career. I wasn't happy with what I was doing at Thomas Cook (I loved what I used to do there, but then for the past 10 months or so I've been doing statistics and payroll - boring, robot work, punching numbers in, math, etc), and that isn't for me. I need something creative to scratch my itch, keep my interest up in whatever career I pursue. So I started looking into graphic design. I have a meeting with a lady on FRIDAY (this Friday, goodness, can't forget!) with a girl at Reeves College regarding their graphic design program. Between talking with a few people from there this last week or two, they are VERY nice and extremely helpful and understanding, so that makes this transition a whole lot easier. It's actually getting me kind of excited for it. Keep your fingers crossed for me on FRIDAY!!

Something else that is new, is that I also have a crit partner now! (critique each others writing) (@CourtneyReese86 on Twitter). I'm going to do a whole blog post on this, but just had to mention. :)

Anyways, I've spend ALL morning painting my bathroom and now my arms are terribly sore, hands horribly callused and Ash incredibly loopy from all the fumes. So I'm going to cut this post here and wish you all a very fantastical hump day!

<3 -A

Twitterview #2

2010-03-29T20:59:00.003-06:00

So here we go again, off to Twitterview #2. I must say, reading these answers brought a few chuckles and snickers and giggles (maybe a snort or two...). This one is quite a character, and I like it!

Victim - @TysonDueck

Q: Why did you start up on Twitter?
A: My friend @RyanStang introduced me to it. I signed up not really getting why anyone would care that I was “Clipping my toenails” and now that I understand how to properly utilize it, I’m completely hooked. The only time I’m NOT at least checking Twitter is when I’m sleeping. Since my first days on Twitter I’ve learned how to use it as a great business and social networking tool. And, to my surprise, I’ve made some new friends!

Q: When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A: To be completely honest, I can’t quite remember. So I’ll answer it the best I can. When I was a small child I got in big trouble…punishment? A spanking. So I ran from my dad, turning every now and then to “Shoot him with my webs”. When he caught me I yelled, “You can’t spank Spiderman!”. So ya, I think I wanted to be Spiderman...either that or a something cliche, like a cop.

Q: If you had to flee the country TODAY and language wasn’t a barrier, where would you go?
A: That’s a tough question to answer since my travels have only brought me through Canada, the US and Mexico. Even though I haven’t been to these places, I think I would be happy somewhere in Europe. My roommate went last year for 2 months and the stories and pictures had me sold. But I would probably be happy anywhere that didn’t get snow.

Q: What do you do to pay the bills?
A: I usually transfer some money around and pay them online. Except the rent, I give money to my roommate and he goes in and pays it….
But without being a smartass, I’m a graphic Designer and Marketing Coordinator for Meridian Manufacturing Group. I do all their print design as well as working with sales and Marketing on new campaign ideas.
Along with @RyanStang, I am also co-founder of Right Mind Creative: A freelance design business we are starting up out of the comfort of our home office. He’s working on it full time at the moment and I am hoping to join in the near future!

Q: For those who don’t know, what’s this whole ‘ZTF’ biz?
A: ZTF = Zombie Task Force. It’s a group of 6 completely badass people: @AshleyTenille, @grempel, @MauStCha, @JennaIsWriting, @massiveimages and myself. Between the 4 of us, we have the know-how to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse. You would definitely want us on your side if such an event ever occurred. With plenty of weapons, beer and smokes, we are sure to survive until the end.

Q: What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
A: This questions goes great with the last question seeing as how I was watching Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Even though I don’t like how they adapted Nemesis from the game, you can’t go wrong with a Zombie flick!

Q: What was your most recent ‘splurge’?
A: That would be a Gibson Les Paul Black Beauty Custom Electric Guitar. It’s always been my dream guitar and I managed to get it for fairly cheap through a Gibson rep that was in town. When it came out of the factory, there was a crack on the neck and they had to replace the entire piece. Even though it was brand new, since they had to fix it, they had to sell it as a refurbished guitar. So I got it for half price.

Q: Are you a listener or a talker?
A: As you can see from my answers, I’m a talker...have you thought “shut up already” to yourself yet? Although I can go on and on, I also know when to listen.

Q: If you were walking down the street and suddenly witnessed a man mug an old lady, what would you do?
A: Oh sure, ask a question that’s going to make me look like a jerk. Instead of telling the truth of me running in the opposite direction crying frantically on the phone to 911, I’ll say this: Using my advanced Martial Arts fighting skills that I have learned to perfection from the 6 times I’ve watched UFC, I will rush in to save the day and take out the mugger with a little ground and pound.

Q: What is one of your favorite movies of all time?
A: Just ONE of my favorites? Man oh man...well, I guess I’ll have to go with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. There are far too many awesome parts to this movie so I’ll sum it up by saying “Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro on Drugs for 2 hours”. Need I say more?

Q: If you had to categorize yourself as one of these professions, which would it be and why: Clown, Mafia, Judge, Struggling Artist, Mathematician, Teacher, or Unemployed?
A: This answer is rather easy for me...Struggling Artist. My whole life is creativity. My full time job involves graphic design, creative thinking and constantly learning to keep inspired. In my spare time I do even more graphic design work for my own business and have played guitar for 15 years. Although I’m not in any way struggling, I would much rather be poor and do what I love, that be rich and hate what I do.

Q: Lastly, who was the last person you replied to on Twitter and why should we follow them?
A: That would be @sea. He’s a fellow Camrosian that I’ve never met in real life, although he graduated with my sister...I think...Follow him because he’s usually got something interesting to say that also deserves a reply. That’s reason enough right there for me!

And there you have it! Who will be next? It could be you!
-A

Twitterview #1!

2010-03-26T16:00:00.006-06:00

Why hello! As some of you may have noticed (those of you who follow me on Twitter anyways), I've asked your opinions and have decided to start up what I'm calling Twitterviews! Each week (or for the beginning of it, probably every couple days seeing as I have a lot of time on my hands now...) I will be choosing one of my Twitter peeps and doing a mini interview with them, then posting it on the ol' blog. It's kind of my more detailed version of a #FollowFriday (#FF), and will give all of you a greater insight into the minds of some of the most awesome people on Twitter. And more especially, WHY you should be following them if you aren't already!

My first Twitterview victim has been selected, and here he is ladies and gents.

Twitterview - @danrempel

Q: How/Why did you start up on Twitter?

A: C'mon... I'm a techie, if I don't stay up to date with the latest and the greatest websites then I'm not doing my job! I was one of the original Twitterers. I'm not entirely sure about that, but I did sign up long long ago. Then none of my friends were on it and it was just me so I stopped. Then I found out quite a long time after that everyone eventually got on, and so I dusted off my account and away I went.

Q: Do you think the people who follow both of us (our Twitters: @danrempel , @AshleyTenille) can tell we are brother and sister?
A: I think most people know because of the way you always say "My brother @danrempel is picking me up from work today!"

Q: What do you do for a ‘day job’?

A: Furiously proud IT guy. Self proclaimed geek and all around day-brightener.

Q: ..and you moonlight as..?

A: I play a billionaire at parties... At least I wish I did...

Q: If you had a day with no commitments, what would you spend it doing?

A: Ahhh what a rarity since my girlfriend and I started dating. That woman IS a day planner! But I love her. When I can grab a spare moment I like to spend it alone on the Xbox. In my undies. With a vodka and Five Alive.

Q: What is one of the scariest moments of your life?

A: I think for me that would be realizing how small and insignificant I am compared to the Universe. What does anything mean?

Q: Name one thing you can’t live without.

A: An Internet connection. (Or my BlackBerry)

Q: What’s one place you’ve always wanted to visit and why?

A: I'd love to go to New Zealand to see where they shot Lord of the Rings. I know that sounds nerdy even for me but I think it'd be a nice and peaceful vacation. It's gorgeous there!

Q: Favorite TV show?

A: Attack of the Show on G4TV!! :D

Q: What is one of your most guilty pleasures (PG13 please, and remember.. This is your sister interviewing you…)?

A: I'm a big Dan Aykroyd fan! Someday I'd like to be just like him!

Q: Who is one of your biggest role models (real, fictional or celebrity) and why?

A: I've never really felt like I have one role model that I've looked up to like that. I've taken life traits from everyone I come into contact with. If I had to pick somebody I'd pick Bruce Lee. Growing up I read a lot of his comparisons between Eastern and Western philosophy and I took a lot of the morals and beleifs to heart. Many of them still stick with me today!

Q: Lastly, who was the last person you replied to on Twitter and why should we follow them?

A: I last replied to @RockstarJodie and you can follow her because she'll beat you up if you don't!

-And there you have it folks! Let me know what you think - Is the Twitterview idea a yay or nay?

Until next time,

-A

Hang in there baby!

2010-03-24T22:22:00.001-06:00

Day 1.
Current Mood: Lethargic.
Sounds: Humidifier blasting away, Law & Order SVU, type, type, type

The whole being laid off thing is still sinking in. I'd say today consisted mostly of frustration and aggravation, apparently our Sunlife benefits are all 'effed' with a few people (that I know of). Spent the morning helping out my Lizzie Bear, drinking coffee, trying to deal with my RRSPs through Sunlife and back and forth between them and HR, and my mumsy.

So our benefits only last for 2 weeks - I was worried as I had a dentist appointment at the end of April for a cleaning and a filling, which will require novocaine and my dentist is insanely busy and hard to book (have to call about a month in advance at least). My plan was to call him today to see if there was ANY way I could reschedule, as my benefits wouldn't cover me any longer. Lo and behold, dentist beat me to the punch and called ME this morning advising they had an opening for tomorrow if I would like. Um, YES please. So in that sense, my luck was looking up. On the other hand, I have to get all of my wisdom teeth pulled in the next couple months, will require me being put under, and I will have no health benefits. Great. Just... Great.

Day consisted of the above, along with two loads of laundry, two loads of dishes, cleaning, fixing BlackBerry, etc, etc, etc.

Tomorrow at least I'll be heading to the dentist, getting all frozen and stuff, seeing mumsy, completing tax forms and... at least most of my day will be busy. I've also decided I will apply for EI, just in case, though I'm pretty sure you have to be unemployed for at least a week to apply.

Will keep y'all updated on my 'adventures' and what not. Hopefully next post will be completely off topic of the 'situation' (totally just thought of Jersey Shore, barf) and snazzy and upbeat. Any suggestions, requests for next post? I'm open to any ideas!

Over and out.

-A

OK, now what?

2010-03-23T22:19:00.001-06:00

Well, if you follow me on Twitter, you all probably know by now that I have been laid off as of today, along with everyone at our office. Basically, big wigs came in and out of the blue announced they were shutting down our office and that everyone was laid off as of today. Yup, that means no work tomorrow for me, no work period. It was not really *surprising* persay, but shocking definitely. Don't really appreciate the way this situation was handled, but nothing I can do about it now. I went through the whole "shocked", "angry", "sad", etc, etc, and yes there were a lot of tears in the office and a lot of sad goodbyes, or what hopefully was more of a 'see you laters'.

After a few drinks and a conversation with the mumsy, boyfriend and brother, I'm feeling a bit better. But now I feel more lost than anything and find myself asking, Ok,

What do I do now? That's the main question, and one I'm trying not to stress over (as much as I can anyway) right now. As many people have said today, there are a lot of opportunities out there, maybe this was a blessing in disguise, everything happens for a reason... Basically everything I always tell others! It's a lot harder to take the advice when you're the receiver, but I'm trying to stay positive over it (no, really, I AM trying!).

So...

I'm thinking of maybe going back to school. I've been thinking about it for the last little while, looking up part time writing courses, but to no avail. Maybe now this is the push to get me to go to college and take FULL time courses and work part time? Really? Or should I find a good job? What to do, what to do...

Anyways, so all in all today was a pretty crappy Tuesday. But, my current thought process (clouded with alcohol):

-A (Le sigh...)

Meme? What is this Meme you speak of?

2010-03-02T20:35:00.001-07:00

I'm throwing this out there right now - I ~~stole~~ borrowed this questionnaire from the lovely @CourtneyReese86 's blog. If you would like to check it out (and you should), go here: http://courtneyreese86.blogspot.com/
I have learned from HER entry (of learning this as well) that a meme is kind of like a questionnaire (I'm guessing) and after reading hers I figured I would do one as well! (So thank you @CourtneyReese86 :) )

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What’s the last thing you wrote? What’s the first thing you wrote that you still have?
The last thing I wrote was a scene in mine and my bff's "Trilogy" thinger (X-Isle for those of you who haven't read about it on my blog) last night. The first thing I wrote ("creatively") was when I got my very first diary at the age of 6. I still have it and read it from time to time. It's amazing how big of an imagination I had even back then (there are many entries regarding an 'imaginary friend' I apparently had named Pinky).

Write poetry?
I haven't for a while because I've been focusing on fiction, but I used to write poems a LOT (even won a creative writing contest with a collection of poems in high school). I have a book filled with most of them and some are on random pieces of paper, or even the back of receipts or restaurant napkins, etc. I look back on them now and then and it REALLY takes me back to what I was feeling at that point in time and (not to sound too egotistical) some of them are pretty good.

Angsty poetry?
Some of them were very dark or 'angsty' (I prefer to describe them as emotional), but some are also happy or just are.

Favorite genre of writing?
Probably fiction/suspense, but beginning to dabble in other areas. I think I may start my first SF/F project here sometime soon :)

Most annoying character you’ve ever created?
The only one that comes to mind right now is a character in X-Isle 2, Allison. She's snobby, rich, goody-two-shoes type and also was one of the reasons keeping two of my favorite characters apart (you have to give your favorite characters issues and hardships to overcome, else it would make for a pretty crappy story!)

Best plot you’ve ever created?
I like all of them (*cough* biased *cough*), but I think the one I thought of that will be the next big collaboration between my bff and I is probably the best one I've thought of. Mainly because I haven't really seen the idea done before, and if done right will be an incredible novel.

Coolest plot twist you’ve ever created?
Oooo... Well, any novel that DOESN'T have some kind of twist isn't a very good novel. I don't know if I can choose my best plot twist that I've written, but I always love having the surprise endings or that huge turning point where a character is suddenly showcased as someone none of the other characters (or the reader) thought they were!

How often do you get writer’s block?
Sometimes I do. Actually it's more like a part of my subconscious is being incredibly stubborn and not producing any creativity or inspirational ideas out of spite. I think it's partially my own fault for always having multiple WIPs going on, but this usually battles the Block (when one project blocks you, turn to another!)

Write fan fiction?
I admit that I used to (only for my beloved Criminal Minds) and it was mainly for something to write when I had nothing else to write at the time (have to keep those creative juices flowing somehow!)

Do you type or write by hand?
Both, but honestly I prefer by HAND. I love having an actual notebook (I have about 50 of them and always have at least one in my purse) filled with point form notes and handwritten prose (I think part of it is being able to see it in your own hands, see the work put into it). Also it's better for planning/outlining because you can draw and put arrows and side notes, etc, etc. The typing is great for when you need to write it all out (or in general, just to have it on the computer) And it is faster to type. I like both ways (hand for planning/outlining/inserts/anything, but computer for actual story writing in general).

Do you save everything you write?
Absolutely. I love going back and reading things, even if it was just a 1 page story. I still have all my "diaries/journals", scrap paper poems, creative writing exercise notebook from high school. I save it all <3
Do you ever go back to an idea after you’ve abandoned it?
Abandoned is never really a word in my writing vocabulary, more like "postponed" or am "ignoring it in frustration". I have gone back to past ideas and rewrote or continued with them. Most of the time all you need is a little space/time and when you go back to it, it's like a whole new story! Plus you get excited about it all over again and the ideas start flowing.

What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?
There are a couple poems that I wrote and will always love (and am surprised at myself each time I reread them, it's almost as if I didn't write them) - I think one of them is posted on this blog somewhere actually. Of course, my (our) beloved baby, the X-Isle 'trilogy' because so much time and conversations and effort has been put into it (even though it is mainly just for funzies)- I love those characters! They've been developed so well and you actually start to really care about them (if that doesn't sound too creepy...) It will be a sad, sad day when we finish this one, when the characters come to an end.

What’s everyone else’s favourite story that you’ve written?
I'm not sure because not many people have read my stuff (beside my bff who is a writer like me). I actually gave what I have written already of my NaNo to a friend to read and let me know what she thought and she really liked it. Also, another friend was reading a story I was really into writing (and actually got a lot done) a few months ago and liked that one as well!

Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?
It's pretty much what Junior High was filled with, so that's what I wrote about!

What’s your favorite setting for your characters?
Already written would probably be X-Isle 1 because it was mainly set on an island. But I have a feeling my new plot bunny will have the best setting so far :)

How many writing projects are you working on right now?
Gosh, does this mean how many unfinished projects do I have written that aren't finished (ie: doesn't have an ending yet)? If so, then that answer is a LOT.

Have you ever won an award for your writing?
A couple actually, my best is an actual TROPHY from winning 1st place in high school creative writing contest for a series of poems.

What are your five favorite words?
Um, wow. I can't narrow this down. All words are my favorite, because put together they can tell a damn good story.

What character have you created that is most like yourself
I don't know if I have a character EXACTLY like myself, but a lot of a couple similar characteristics.

Where do you get ideas for your characters?
They kind of come to me. Like they want ME to write something about them and it just goes from there-for the main character at least. The others are based off of that main character - who could compliment this MC well? Who could totally offset them? Who could throw a curve into the MC's plans?

Do you ever write based on your dreams?
I get a LOT of ideas from my dreams (I have REALLY messed up dreams sometimes). Actually my new idea came about BECAUSE of a dream and the very first chapter will be an expansion on that dream. Dreams are an amazing tool for writers! Always have a notebook beside your bed, you never know when the inspiration will hit (conscious or unconscious!)

Do you favor happy endings, sad endings or cliff-hangers?
I like surprise endings the best, the ones where you're reading and get to the end and actually say out loud "WHAT!! I never would have expected that!!"

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
Definitely. A lot of my friends refer to me as the grammar nazi. 'Nuff said.

Does music help you write?
Absolutely. Music is one of my BIGGEST inspirations (I have a post all about this specific question). It's amazing how many scenes/ideas you can think of just by closing your eyes and pressing play on your iPod. I have a playlist on my iPod specifically created with songs that I feel are inspirational or are good for writing, could possibly make me think of a great idea.

Quote something you’ve written. Whatever pops into your head.
"Why did you have to hit him so hard?!" -very first line of my Nano.

The Lazy Scranton

2010-03-01T18:03:00.003-07:00

I love The Office. This is possibly the funniest part ever and no matter what kind of mood I'm in, always makes me laugh uncontrollably.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkRvoBUR1_Y

New Glasses

2010-02-05T20:11:00.005-07:00

Originally this post was going to be a rant/vent about my hellish life this week, but on a whim I decided to change that and post about something more mediocre. My new glasses came in the other day, hurray! Had my eyes checked a couple weeks ago (my prescription was in dire need of updating) and lo and behold, I can SEE!! Well, I could before, but now I can actually read non fuzzy signs and I can see the tv guide without squinting at the tv.

I ordered 3 pairs, and again Zenni was great, however you have to expect some flaws when ordering glasses online.
1)I ordered the EXACT pair I wear most of the time (hey for 14$, it's cheaper to just order a brand new pair than to get new lenses put in!). I was a little disappointed because the first time I ordered them, they were perfect, but this time they are slightly bent. But this should be an easy fix, any eyeglasses place (Lenscrafters, Total Focus, etc) SHOULD bend them back in minutes, no problem. So I wasn't too choked up about that.
2)My new ones which aren't as nerdy as I thought they'd be, but they're kind of cute. Blue/black multicolored kinda sorta thing going on. Semi 80s, Semi nerdy. I like them. They fit super too.
3) My UBER nerdy ones (which, by the way, I am highly restricted on Zenni due to my apparent "too small pupil measurements". Ugh. I can't get half of the glasses I want because of this :( ) Anyways, my super nerdy ones are "ok". They look slightly funny on me as the frame itself seems to be too narrow on my face, like the glasses should be bigger (nerdier! Nerdier, I say!) Which I was a little disappointed in, but that's the risk of Zenni! And for 8$, who cares?

Still highly recommend Zenni! Now for some shits and giggles.

-A

Twitter! It's a wonderful thing...

2010-02-02T21:18:00.004-07:00

So, seeing as I haven't written a post in a while, I figured I'd better get at least SOMETHING down. This one is mentioning a few amazing people I have come to know via Twitter. What a crazy world that Twitter is, yet amazing all the same. I'm going to give a few mentions of a couple pretty awesome folk who I adore and have "met" through Twitter. If you're on Twitter, you should follow them. End of story.

Let's start with @stygldpnyby - This wickedly amazing lady, I actually work with her. I'm pretty sure besides a nod or 'hello' at work, we mainly started talking because someone stumbled upon the other on Twitter (probably me, I'm such a creeper) and was all, Hey, I know you! And then the madness started. She's fantasmically awesome and a great lady to boot. The scary thing is that she is a lot like me. So if you like me, you will like her. Pretty much. I think we have decided that we were a highly frowned upon lesbian couple in the early 1600s in a past life. Tis why we are so awesome and alike. It's not every day you can find someone (of the same gender!) that you can relate to so well and have such a quick, mutual connection. What a great friend!

Now to @grempel - If you ever want to be set up for a wicked 'that's what she said', he's your man. And I have abused this multiple times. I honestly don't remember how we started "twittering" one another (that's what she said!) - I think someone (a mutual "Twitterer") asked me if I knew this guy or if I was related to him because we have the same last name and we're both awesome. I'm like pff, I have no friggen clue who this dude is, but me being the creeper, followed him anyways. Turns out he is pretty rad and now it's no coincidence that we share the same last name, because clearly Rempels are just awesome. We have a mean caffeine addiction, a witty and wild sense of humor, and great music taste. Surprisingly enough, I doubt we ARE related (maybe SOMEWHERE down the line..), but the last name proves this dude is my 'twitter brother'. He's a pretty cool cat.

One of my recent favorites - @MauStCha (actually much thanks to @grempel for hooking this one up) - this lady is a TIGER. Just kidding, but she IS ferociously funny, witty, catty when she wants to be.. This list can just carry on. One who I had QUICKLY become impressed with, in awe of, and just glad to have "met" her because she is so awesome. Novel-sized emails aside, (which I TOLD YOU I LOVE), she is a talented writer (shut up, I know you are!) and a great muse of fabulous information in the writing/publishing world and someone who I am forever going to be learning things from. Just in these past couple weeks of knowing her, I have already learned so much and love her to death for her quirky personality and great words of wisdom, or just her witty sense of humor. I'm super proud of this one ;)

Well 3 is all I can do for now. My hunger is rising and all I can now think about is some peanut butter and toast. I hope this will tide y'all over until the next one ;)

Keep smilin'!

-A

Promoting Beauty In All!

2010-01-06T20:24:00.006-07:00

Yesterday my TMOOH t-shirt arrived in the mail! I squealed and then proceeded into a little happy dance in front of the mailboxes. Was super excited to see it and after ripping the package open, there was even a little handwritten note of thanks from Brett Clouser. (tee hee)

I will start with the basics - the t-shirt is awesome. It's made with mostly bamboo, aka it is incredibly soft and comfortable. The color - super!

Now the depth - promoting beauty. I absolutely love the concept and message being sent through the TMOOH brand. For those of you who know me, you probably have realized my love for graphic tees, especially the ones mentioning love or peace or something to that effect. Now I have another fantastic find to add to the collection (and hopefully will get more down the road!) TMOOH - you need to get your hoodies in stock for us Canadians!

Anyways, I just had to indulge in sharing my excitement. Here are a few snaps of yours truly wearing said t-shirt. And remember, YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL <3

So long 2009, Hello 2010!

2010-01-01T21:14:00.005-07:00

So 2010 was brought on with a bang. Well, not really. I spent my New Year's Eve with my boyfriend, brother, and his girlfriend. It was actually quite fun; playing board games, eating, drinking. A nice change to bring in the New Year.

As discussed before, I had some 2010 'goals', and one of them was to try out new recipes and cook things I haven't done before. And I wasted no time in starting this one! Tonight I made spinach, mushroom and tofu manicotti. It worked out nicely and tasted delish! Here is a little taste (no pun intended har har):

Hoping that more new, fabulous vegetarian meals are in the near future!

Strange Dreams

2009-12-29T07:06:00.004-07:00

Typing is proving to be difficult.

I accidentally sliced the tip of my finger with a large bread knife last night and the large, awkward bandaid at the tip of my index finger will be annoying throughout the day. Work shall be fun...

Anyways, I just wanted to take note of the bizarre dream I had last night. At one point, my friend and coworker (random) got into the elevator at work and were going up. When the elevator passed our floor without stopping, we kind of looked at each other and then the elevator started inclining faster and faster and we started getting worried. Suddenly it was nearing the top floor and had no intention of stopping, then it burst through the roof of the building and the next thing I know, we're upside down, plummeting back down. We weren't terribly hurt, I think the cables of the elevator (somehow...) stopped us (upside down.. again, somehow...) before we crashed to the ground. Almost like a bungee jump cord..

The next part of the dream, I was at a concert. And Kurt Cobain was there, only he wasn't singing for Nirvana, he was singing for Nine Inch Nails. And his real name was actually Keaton Kan. And when he came down to the stage, on a rope dropping from the roof (and the stage was a boxing ring...) he was in a yellow polka dot dress. Yes...

What does it all mean? Who knows... I'm trying to think what I took before I went to sleep, but I didn't take anything...

I'll wait to see what tonight's unconscious thoughts bring.

-A

Post Christmas Thoughts

2009-12-28T10:19:00.006-07:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone. It always passes so quickly and next it will be New Year's followed by the apprehension of what 2010 will bring. I'm planning on making 2010 an awesome year, seeing as 2009 was pretty much a busy with everything that had happened (economy, H1N1, people passing away -in my family at least-). Speaking of which, I found out yesterday my uncle passed away (my dad's brother). I wasn't overly close with him, in fact most of us haven't seen him in about a year. Though this is the part of the family who lost their mom and dad (my granny and grampa) within 3 days of each other only a year and a half ago. This had rocked everyone very hard, even after all this time I am still recuperating from it. And now my uncle has passed away amongst the holiday, so my thoughts are out to my family and I am hoping everyone will pull through ok. The cause of his death is unknown at the moment, but from what I have gathered is people are thinking it was either a heart attack or that it was self inflicted. For my family's sake, I am hoping it is the first as the latter may pain family members even more so. I think there is a lot of guilt in peoples' minds and hearts during this time, so my prayers and thoughts are with them.

On lighter, more happier notes, I had a fairly good Christmas. It is always good to go back home and see everyone. This year I got to see family members whom I haven't seen in ages (My, how people grow up. I used to babysit a lot of them and know they're all taller than I am...). I received some very exciting gifts (new digital camera from my bf, large bookshelf from my parents - which I desperately need, an amazing book on the Canadian Writer's Market from my brother) and many other amazing prezzies.

2010 is creeping up and I have a few things I am hoping to do or accomplish in the coming year. I don't really believe in 'New Year's Resolutions', mainly because it sets the bar so high and then you feel bad when you don't do them. I would rather 'hope' to do things and if I actually do them, well then I will be happy. So what's in store for Ashley in 2010? A few of the things on my 'goal list' include perhaps APPLYING for school courses (writing and French), cooking more seeing as I haven't been doing a lot of it in the past couple months due to being busy and I love to cook (I guess trying new and crazy recipes will be included in this), sewing more, being more self disciplined with focusing on writing and pushing myself more like I did during NaNo in November (what an eye opener and confidence build that was!) and also spending more time with friends. There's probably a few more entailed in there, but that's a taste for now.

I wish everyone a fantastic New Year's (and New Year's Eve!) and remember again, to be safe and don't drink and drive.

-A

Xmas Eve & Amazing People

2009-12-24T08:02:00.004-07:00

It's Christmas Eve already. Am I the only one who still doesn't think it TRULY feels like Christmas yet?? I have a feeling it will once the 3 hour drive I have to make this afternoon is over and I'm back home.

This will be the first time that my brother won't be waking up with us back home on Christmas day. It's sad, and will be weird, but I guess now that he has a serious girlfriend he is entitled to spend Christmas morning at her house (they'd better be at our parent's next year!), so I have to get used to it. I remember when we were younger, we weren't allowed to be up before 7am xmas morning, but (obviously) being too excited we would be up at like 4am watching the clock. My brother would always tip toe out to the living room to check out the stash and then come back to my room to report to me on the sight of the presents under the tree. Don't get me wrong, he (and his gf) will be there in the afternoon sometime, but it will still be strange not having him there to open presents.

I'm excited to go home, I haven't been back since Thanksgiving (which technically, for me, isn't that long between home visits - sometimes it will be like 6 months before we make the trek to the country).

Switching to an entirely different topic, I feel the need to mention my dear Twitter friend (@krystalarson) as I have just finished catching up on her blog - http://krystaslittleworld.blogspot.com/
This girl is amazing and I admire her so much even after only knowing her for a few months or so (has it been that long already?!) She recently got accepted into her dream job and has moved to Dubai a couple weeks ago in order to make it happen. She went through the amazing ordeal of leaving her family and amazing boyfriend to MOVE to Dubai in order to achieve her life long dream. She is an amazing woman - determined, motivated, strong, charismatic - And someone anyone could look up to and think, I can pursue my dreams, it IS possible to achieve the things you want most out of life. I'm so unbelievably proud of her. Her intense fear of needles hasn't even stopped her (hello multiple blood tests) - this alone I'm incredibly proud of her for. I'm so excited for her and her adventures now, and I really hope she continues with informing us of them on her blog. I'm rooting for you girl (represent Canadians!). I know being Christmas Eve you are probably insanely homesick right now (I can't even imagine), but all I can say is to enjoy it and spend it with your new found friends (I'm sure they are homesick too!). And hang in there tiger, keep remembering what spectacular adventures you will be embarking upon and how proud your family and everyone back home is! I wish you the very best friend!

Well, I'll see you all after Christmas and I hope everyone has a great holiday! Stay safe and never drink and drive.

-A

Christmas Cheer & Great Designs

2009-12-16T21:26:00.007-07:00

Ahh tis the season to be jolly, no?

Yesterday I went forward with phase 4 of Ash's Christmas Cheer and bought some toys for underprivileged children. It's sort of amazing to think that you're going to make some kids feel so special just for giving them a toy on Christmas. Not a lot of kids grew up (or are growing up) like many of you and I, and just the thought of spending a few dollars that would equal a dinner one evening or that t-shirt we had to buy, yet never wear, to buy toys that could mean the world to one child... It makes me feel amazing and I found I was even being tedious with what I was purchasing. My boyfriend standing beside me going "Why does it matter, it's just a toy..?" And my reply, well I don't want it to be some stupid toy that no kid would want. I wanted it to be something cool, something flashy (what are the kids into nowadays anyways!? We didn't have this much selection when we were kids, that's for sure. I had ninja turtles, and back then there were only 4 to pick from.. That or Lego..). So I picked a few out that looked pretty awesome (Hey, I almost kept one for myself..). I hope whoever receives it likes it and puts a smile on their face. Even if it's just for a day, I would be glad to know that something, no matter how little it is, made someone feel good about themselves.

On another note, for any of you who have been watching Survivor: Samoa, you must obviously know Brett Clouser (Side Note: I totally have a 12 yr old crush on this guy. *sigh*...). Following him Twitter (@TMOOH) and for you die hard Survivor fans, you will know that he has his own clothing design website called The Monument of Our Hearts. These clothes have an AMAZING purpose, sending the message of healthy body image. Their purpose is to show that everyone is beautiful and to promote healthy self-image in everyone. They are also environmentally conscious, producing their products domestically and they are partnered up with non-profit organizations. All around, great clothing with a great message. I just ordered my very first t-shirt (the Cubism) and if you act now through Sunday, you can get 10% off by using the code word `galu`at checkout. Strongly urge anyone to visit his website and check it out :) http://www.tmooh.com/

Picture will be posted of me and my new styling, healthy body image producing digs when it arrives ;)

Until next time!
(9 days until Christmas! Get yer shopping done!)

-A

A's Christmas Cheer

2009-12-14T20:14:00.004-07:00

In good, Christmas-esque news, I have completed Stage 3 of Ash's Christmas Cheer. Tonight I have made my donation to the Edmonton Humane Society (though, I do this periodically throughout the year anyways). The EHS runs largely on donations and contributions, so I cheerfully and strongly urge anyone to donate to them. Every little bit helps :)

In writing news, I've come up with.. *cough* another new idea. I really have to stop this... Though, to be fair, the last 'great' idea I had has now been pawned off (well, not really) to be the next story my bff and I will write together. Sadly, the X-Isle series will soon be coming to an end and after we at least get SOME of the editing/revising done on all three parts, we will start up another. Hurray!
I do want to go back and fix up my NaNo as I sort of left it hanging RIGHT at the start of the climax. And I do need to change a bit that I left off, and would like to finish the actual story before I start something new. *sigh* I'm terrible at ending stories. Terrible. I always start up something new before I get the chance to think about even touching the ending.

Well, that's about it for now. Didn't really have a point to this one :D

-A

Playing Catch up

2009-12-12T21:18:00.008-07:00

Egads, it's been a while. Time to play catch up (briefly) and talk about some Christmas-y things!

NaNoWriMo 2009 - I did it! As you can see on my blog, I am a winner of NaNo '09 and I don't care what anyone says, I'm gosh darn proud of myself. I was getting a little worried there in the last week before departing for Dominican, but alas, on November 24th I typed like mad and managed to upload just over 50k on the morning of the 25th. The story itself isn't over, I still have about 15k-ish to go, but I will continue working with it and see what I come out with :)

Punta Cana '09 - I went, I sunned, I drank, I loved it and then I came back. Dominican IS gorgeous and to make a loooong, amazing vacationing story short, it was awesome. Great weather, great people and a great time. Then I came back to a blizzard and -20. Go Alberta. Here's a taste of where I was:

In other news, Christmas is quickly approaching. Yikes. I look back and I can't believe how fast this year has gone by! I think 2009 has been a rough year for many of us out there, but my thoughts are - lets make 2010 a gooder!

In the spirit of Christmas, I have been indulging and started something I like to call 'Ash's Christmas Cheer'. Earlier this week at my work, there were these guys working in the back alley of our office building and it was FREEZING out. I think it was -35 that day with the windchill, so needless to say when I saw them I felt kind of bad. I know, I know, these guys work outside doing what they do all the time and know how to dress for it, but still! Anyone working out there has to be chilled to the bone. So on my next break, a colleague came with me to brave the cold and walked to Tim Horton's, buying 6 large coffees (none for us) and struggled back to hand them off to the men working hard in the back alley. They were very surprised and thankful, which in return gave me warm fuzzies for my good deed. It's a feeling I like to have and one that makes braving the cold so worth it. One minute for a good deed = a lifetime of remembering it and giving someone a smile to cheer their day.

Stage 2 of Ashley's Christmas Cheer - I bought Christmas cards and bought scratch tickets to go inside for the other apartments on my floor (10 in total) and my 2 landlords. I haven't handed them out yet, but will this week and hopefully someone will scratch themselves a few bucks, and even if no one does, hopefully the thought put a smile on someone's face.

Stage 3 - It's something I do regularly, but will be donating to Edmonton Humane Society. I strongly support them and urge anyone to donate a couple dollars, their time, or even an item of need to them this holiday season. It's amazing how much those employees do and did you know that it costs $4.2 million dollars to run the Edmonton Humane Shelter every year! Of that amount, almost 40% comes from donations from the public.

Anywho, must stop the post for now or I could ramble on forever. I shouldn't wait this long before blogging again..

Happy Holidays to all and remember to be (and drive!) safe this holiday season.

Spreading her Christmas cheer one person at a time,
-A

One Week.

2009-11-19T16:16:00.004-07:00

One week. That can seem like a lot of time, not enough time, or both at the same time. Enter me!

In exactly 1 week I leave for Punta Cana and in exactly 1 week I have to be at 50k for my Nano. The pressure is cracking down, I just hit 40k so I don't think it's too bad, though with all the stuff I'm doing this weekend and that I need to get done BEFORE I leave on vacation... Yikes. I want to be at 50k by the end of this weekend so next week I can focus on packing and getting stuff done before I leave.

My thoughts on NaNo nearing the end of week 3 and at 40k: It's been exhilarating, self-disciplining, frustrating, but I am enjoying it. Some of the stuff I have written is pretty good if I say so myself, but some of the stuff you spit out on a time crunch is your best work. The only thing I've found is how difficult it is with the simple things. Like remembering a character's last name. You know you mentioned it in the beginning, but seeing as you haven't re-read anything you've written yet (at least I haven't) you have to scroll just to find it. Not re-reading has probably made me make a few mistakes. But that's what next month and the months after that are for.

It's been a learning curve for sure; I never thought I would be able to write this much in such a short amount of time. I had low expectations of myself when I signed up for this, but have learned if I put my mind, fingers, much needed sleeping hours into it, I'm doing alright. I have surprised myself. It's been fun because you develop these characters so fast and pull things out of thin air to just make something to go off of. I know there are some parts where I need to elaborate more on or parts I need to change a bit, but I ignored it and just kept going. I have found that KEY in doing Nanowrimo. Don't ponder on what you've typed and DO NOT delete anything. If you must, just rewrite that scene or just keep going as if you already wrote it, or even go with what you put down, you may surprise yourself with how it can alter the story even better! Rule #4: Do not touch the delete key during your Nano. Unless it's to fix spelling mistakes from typing at Mach 1.

One thing I was incredibly surprised at is the character I *thought* and planned in my head to be the MAIN character, has actually developed to be the secondary character and my original secondary character has become the main one. I don't know how that happened, but I went with it and I think the story is better off this way.

What else have I learned so far... Take examples from real life and shove it into your story. Or if you see something happening on your way home, write that in too. Someone getting mugged, fire trucks parked outside of a building, a car accident... If you ever get stuck just throw in a random curve into your main character's plans. In the first part of my story I wasn't sure where I was going, then I was watching a show where a couple's car broke down and so in return, I made my main characters car break down on the side of the road. On a deserted highway. When they were running from something. Drama, problems, conflict... this will all buy you many, many words and can even strike you to take your story in another direction or beef it up even more.

Anyways, I should get back to writing seeing as I have some down time! Just had to post an update seeing as I've been lacking during this busy month.

Keep knocking on wood for me and sending me encouraging, inspiring thoughts!

-A

I won't talk about NaNo, I won't talk about NaNo...

2009-11-13T13:05:00.007-07:00

Ahhh I love days off from work. I'm still in my pjs, hair's a mess and no make up. I've been up since 7.30am (was supposed to be 5.30am, but I slept through my alarm again... Good thing I didn't have to work today...), and I've been busy as a bee. Shot right into writing the 'unmentionable' furiously, trying to pump up my word count. Mix that with sewing away, my third project being pj shorts. This pattern has pockets and I'm starting to debate if I should just skip the pockets. I think it's only because I'm at that step and... *sigh, ok, I'll do the damn pockets...

I love the feeling after you've created something. After making my first hobo bag I was driven to do more. I made a similar one for my bff (shorter strap than mine)- here is a picture (don't mind the rough edges)-

and now I'm on to the clothe-esque projects. Hit up Fabricland's crazy sale last weekend and got a bunch of patterns and the ideas and creations are all floating around in my head, waiting to be made.

I had to take a break because sometimes I start to think too much about how the structure is supposed to fit together and I drive myself mad, then I get frustrated. It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to turn the pj shorts inside out (you laugh now, but if you were at the stage I'm at with them, you would have been confused too). The inside seams are all sewn together and for some reason I couldn't picture how... ok I'll stop.

What else is going on in the world of me... I'm in for a busy couple weeks. I'm at the halfway point of my Na-*cough* , well you know, so I have to pump up the volume (good movie, btw) because for my timeline I'm slacking a bit. Going to watch New Moon next Friday - I really wanted to re-read the books again before I went (Haven't read them since I first got all 4 and read all 4 in a span of a week), but I don't think that will happen, seeing as I have too much going on. I leave for Dominican in less than 2 weeks and I'm finally starting to get excited about it. I meant to tan for a good month before I went, but now there's less than 2 weeks until I go. I'm so screwed. I'm going to come back looking like a lobster and my office Christmas party is the day after I get back. I will rock the lobster look. I'll just be red in the spirit of Christmas.. Maybe I'll wear green and use that as my excuse.

Speaking of Christmas, I can't believe it's next month. How scary. Time is going by way too fast and I don't like it.

I got to see my bff last weekend, which was awesome. I haven't seen her since my birthday in May. Normally we have 'Rum Nights' when we're together, but this time we switched it up and had Co-Ca-Banana Night. It involved homemade pizza making, crazy mis-matched pjs, long island iced teas, and a mini Simpsons marathon. She also brought me a prezzie, his name is Charlie. Apparently we both had creative urges in making gifts for each other.

Anyways, I best stop procrastinating now and get back to.. the unmentionable. The next post will most likely be all about it though seeing as I'm about to celebrate at passing the halfway 25k point.

-A

NaNo Update and Other Musings

2009-11-10T06:17:00.005-07:00

So I had this dream the other night where the world was coming to an end (or something like that), and I was a part of a few selected people who were going to be saved. The queen was even there - though she wasn't old and wrinkly at all, this queen (who was the queen of the WORLD!) she was young and quite beautiful and had red hair. Why I was a part of this group to be saved, I don't know. But my job, my whole task in this 'being saved from the world' thing, was to choose a wine to stock the boat with. The boat that was going to save us, I guess. Me, this person who was specifically selected to be saved from the world in this small, elite group of people, including the queen of the world (seriously, she was probably a only few years older than me) was chosen to choose the wine that the boat would be stocked with. So I remember me sitting around this big table, with the queen, and some other people and we were testing like seven different bottles of wine. That's all I remember.

I know what you're thinking, and don't worry I was thinking it too. I often have bizarre, unexplainable dreams. I wish I could remember them all. Man, what it would be like to be in my unconscious state of mind full time. I bet I would end up in a psych ward.

On another topic, it's now week 2 of NaNoWriMo! Huzzahhhh. My current word count is just a smidgen away from 18,000. I think I'm doing fairly well (at least I hope so), but there's this little annoying voice in the back of my head taunting me and telling me I'm not going to make it. But I just try to kick that voice with my literary power legs and try to ignore it to no end as my fingers fly feverishly over my keyboard. I probably wouldn't be near this far if it wasn't for my bff and her help with planning.
*Fun Fact* - A doesn't believe in outlines. A outlines as she goes along.
The actual story is going pretty well, I feel for how many words I have, my plot is kind of slow, but things will soon pick up. There's nerdlicious awkward flusters, a hot cop, slick haired, evil antagonist and pick-pocketing and conning. Things are picking up nicely.

There's also just over 2 weeks until my trip to Dominican! I've been so busy lately I haven't even had much time to think about it and get excited, but I'm sure it will come soon. Hurray for vacations! I'm just crossing my fingers that I'm not going to get sick with... well I won't say it just for the risk of jinxing it, but y'all know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Knock on wood. A lot. And keep your fingers crossed for me.

Anywho, I could keep blogging away, but alas I must dress myself and get ready for work. Keep cheering me on and sending me good thoughts for NaNo!

Until next time.

-A

NaNo p4 - The Day After

2009-11-01T17:49:00.006-07:00

Ahh I am taking a break from writing to do... more writing. Hello blog!

Let's back track a good 21 hours... It's almost midnight, I just finished watching a marathon of True Blood season 2 (saved the finale for tonight!)and I sit down to start up my NaNo story. It's weird - I knew what my first sentence was going to be word for word, so I got that out first, then the rest kept coming out. My goal was to get maybe a page out or so (I was exhausted), but before I knew it it was almost 2am and I reached the 1,677 word count. Hurray! To bed I went, a happy girl.

Today I woke up, did the lazy Sunday morning thing while adjusting to the time change - coffee, tv, breakfast. And off I went for more NaNo time.

My story is going pretty well so far (knock on wood), I think I got a good kick off for a start. I've tried not to say too much about my plot "idea" in fear of jinxing it (especially before I even started), except my bff - she is my muse and is going to help me brainstorm when the time is needed (I <3 her). I will say this - it starts out with a bang (well, more literally a murder). It was funny - last night as I was starting it off, Cape Fear was playing in the background on my tv (I like to have background noise when I write, else I go crazy), and it was a perfect ominous mood setting to kick off my NaNo.

So right now I lay at 3,225 words. I think that's pretty good (or is it? NaNo virgin here...) My "goal" was to have around 5k words by the end of today. I still have a bit of time left, but had a few things to do this evening. Now it's almost 9pm and I'm crying over the fact that tomorrow is Monday *tear* Hopefully I'll get a bit more write time in tonight, but if not - tomorrow is another day!

So now I'm going to settle in and see if I can spit any more out before sleepy time. Night all, and Happy November!

-A

NaNo p3 - The Day Before

2009-10-31T12:41:00.006-06:00

Ahh, Nano-eve. What are you doing today to prep yourself for the hell of November?

Me, I prefer to take the distraction approach. Ever since I signed up for NaNo, I thought about what I was going to write 1 day. Just 1 day, that's all I let myself really sit down and think about what I was going to write. I had a little pow wow with my bff over the phone, telling her what I got myself into and how I had 0 plot ideas, so I gave her a few I had been tossing around in my mind and she helped me figure out a 'base' of what I would write. Made a few notes (very random, very sparse point form - it's how I roll) and then saved it and haven't looked at it since.

I like to take the surprise approach, I think this will be the best way for me to go. If I think about it too much and make and outline and all that jazz, then I would get bored and not want to write about it anymore. The story will be a surprise to myself and I will go with the flow, get inspired (hopefully) as I write and just see where the story takes ME (opposed to vice versa).

So what am I doing today? This day before NaNoWriMo begins? Well so far I woke up, coffee, Canadian Tire (the bf) and Safeway for some ingredients and stuff for supper. Ingredients are for some bread makin'. That's right, I've had the urge to make bread (from the bread maker, I'm not Martha Stewart people), though I absolutely love to cook. I'm a little chef. Baking isn't much my forté, but I like to do it once in a while. Hence - today I will try some bread, haven't done it for a while.

I also am thinking of making love to my guitar because I haven't for a while. We will play some sweet, sweet music together (maybe). We must be reunited, my guitar and I.

After I'm done writing this, I have to go get my Hep A shot (Phase 2 of needles for Prep for Dominican!), then when I get back I plan on finish writing my part in mine and my bff's story so I can send it back to her before tonight (aka before I have to start on my NaNo). Then I may take in a movie with my bf, thinking of watching the Last House on the Left. Catch up on some True Blood (*cough* addicted *cough*).

All in all, I will do my best to distract myself from thinking of my NaNo. This way when I start it will be fresh. I'm the kind of person who if I think too much on something before I start it, then I bore myself before it even begins and tire myself of the plot idea.

Wish me luck!

p.s. Don't forget to change your clocks back an hour tonight before bed ;) Extra hour for sleeping in.

-A

Music as Inspiration

2009-10-22T11:55:00.005-06:00

One of the main inspirations that gets me going when writing is music. Whether it be soft and melody-like or a hard rock song from the 80s, this has been one of my go-to's when I can't figure out what to write.

Sometimes I will go to bed early just so I can lay in the dark, close my eyes and turn on my iPod - then I let my imagination flow. I even have a playlist on my iPod called "Inspire for iPod" (no joke). When I'm going through the gazillions of songs on my iTunes, or if I hear a song on a commercial or the radio the sparks a little something, I download it for future inspection.

This has helped me IMMENSELY with writing, especially the huge 3-part novel that I'm writing with my BFF. It's the longest piece of fiction I (or we) have ever written and music has played such a big part in it that whenever I hear a certain song I will instantly relate it back to a certain scene in the story.

For example: There's a slow, ominous song that I like and one night I was listening to it while laying in bed (Lucky You by Deftones), and I just try to "feel" the music (Ok, that may sound weird, but stay with me). Whenever I'm writing, probably 95% of the time I picture what is happening inside my head, almost as if it was a movie in my mind. As I listened to this song I could picture the exact way the characters were moving or talking, and it also made me think of grand ideas to go with. If you think of an idea you want to portray in your writing, grab some tunes and almost guaranteed you'll find a song that will match the mood of that scene and it almost boosts your imagination to think of how this scene will play out, or even spark ideas for what will happen before/after.

If I'm ever stuck (writer's block *cough* *cough*), I'll listen to songs that I know will relate to something in the story, whether it be a sad scene, intense scene, hate/fight scene, sex scene, etc, etc, and if I just listen to it a couple time your mind will relay what you want to happen and, in my head at least, plays out like a movie scene. Afterwards, when it comes to write that part (sometimes I'll know what can happen MUCH later in the story, just because I hear a song and know something will happen from it), I play the song and the reel starts going in my head, then transfers to paper (or computer screen).

All in all, music plays a HUGE part for me with plot ideas, inspiration, sparking the imagination, or even just something to have on in the background to relax so I can write.

As a special treat, here are a few songs from my iPod playlist "Inspire for iPod", that have really helped me out with scenes in my writing.

Apocalypse Please - Muse
Goodnight Boy - Arcade Fire
Asleep from Day - The Chemical Brothers
Change - Deftones
Crazy on You - Heart
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Eden - Hooverphonic
Fade into You - Mazzy Star
Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
Lie in the Sound - Tresspassers William
Roads - Portishead
The Scientist - Coldplay
Heroes - David Bowie
Lucky You - Deftones
Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones
Time to Pretend - MGMT
Within You - Ray LaMontagne
Wake Up - Arcade Fire

-A

NaNoWriMo p2

2009-10-17T09:24:00.004-06:00

Ok, so yesterday I caved and officially signed up for NaNoWriMo. Otherwise, I signed my soul away for 1 month when I drive myself to insanity over writing 50,000 words.

Some of you are probably asking, Why??? Why would I put myself through all of this? Well for one, I love to write. Period. Even if it comes out as crap, at least I'm writing something, exercising my fingers, my mind, my *cough* soul. I also love a challenge and lately with all my other literary musings I've been having trouble with the Block, inspiration, MOTIVATION. So here comes Nanowrimo, and it seemed like it was fate. Maybe this will light a fire under my ass!

I admit, I'm a little nervous, anxious, worried (what if I get stuck, what if I can't think of anything else, what if, what if), but then I think, who cares! It's a rough draft. A first rough draft that thousands of people are spitting out at mach 1. So I have a plan, if I get stuck I will get over it. Simple, right? Well, maybe not that simple, but I'll figure something out.

Plot ideas? Not really. I haven't had too much time to think about it and I think that maybe this will be better. This way I'll just start from fresh, maybe as soon as Nov 1st hits the idea will pop into my head and flow to my fingers where I will immediately type 5,000 words (A girl can hope, right?). I'm thinking maybe something comedic mixed with something serious like a murder/mystery. Something that will be fun! Hey, this challenge is about FUN not STRESS, right?

Anyways, I'm off for more coffee now.

Wish me luck come November!

-A

National Novel Writing Month

2009-10-14T15:04:00.004-06:00

Break out your pencils and grease up your typing fingers, y'all. November is National Novel Writing Month! It's a world wide group that any writer can join in hopes to complete a 50,000 word goal in just thirty days. I JUST found out about this literally like yesterday. Now I'm thinking it might be kind of fun to sign up for it and see if I can make it. It's kind of exciting, kind of nerve-wracking, but I'm debating if I should test my skills (and will power, procrastination, focus, imagination, etc, etc) all with a tight deadline.

Plus, I leave for Dominican on Nov 26, so I would get shorted 5 days... Not fair! lol. I worry that I won't be able to make 50,000 words, but then I think, 'Well, it's not like you'll get yelled at if you don't!'. This is all about having fun, motivation and seeing how far you can go. Everyone should get a huge pat on the back for just trying!

Ok, so maybe I'll give it a whirl. As long as I think of an idea... Hmmm... So many possibilities.

For anyone who wants to check it out, go to: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Blast from the Past

2009-10-01T19:21:00.004-06:00

So my book muse reminded me of something the other day - Mentos. Well, not that, but the Mentos reminded me of my grad picture.

They really are the freshmaker.

Book Pimp

2009-10-01T13:20:00.004-06:00

I now officially have a book pimp. Yay. This dashing young lady has so graciously agreed to provide me with yummy challenges, (good or kick you in the crotch horrible), I'll take it all.

Twitter can be of so many uses. Meeting great people, chatting with friends, and more recently, getting me a literary sugar mama. Follow her if you dare @LitConnection, this chick is 'da bomb' and she's definitely got game when it comes to the literary world of swooning, nerding, barfing, WOW-ing, kick you in the crotch-ing, pee your pants-ing, or just something fabulous to curl up on the couch with.

Now I just need to get to the library to renew my card. Then I can get on this. First up is The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Apparently I'm missing out by never having read this one. I feel sheltered, small, insignificant.. Therefore, the first book up on 'A's Wonderful Dare Challenge' will be this nugget of a find (or rather suggestion).

I will post up a blog blurb with each challenge completed and give my thoughts on the read. We'll see how right you are LC, we'll see!!

-A

p.s. Read her blog, you'll be amazed, you'll be floored, you'll want to grab your computer screen and make out with it. Well, maybe not like I did, but still... Check it out: http://thelitconnection.wordpress.com/

The Bradford House

2009-09-29T19:37:00.003-06:00

Ok, since I'm having issues with writing recently, I decided to maybe give a little plot blurb about one of my current stories. This may give me a little bit of a push to get cracking again, who knows!

Basically, my "temp" title (which I may keep) is The Bradford House. It's my first 'attempt' at a more supernatural, paranormal type story, so it's interesting to write. I've also realized how hard it is to WRITE scary happenings, those dun dun dunnnn moments. You don't realize it, when seeing on tv for example if something jumps out it startles you. It's hard to startle someone while they are reading, mainly because you have to choose your words carefully and be as brief at the beginning of the incident as possible to get that 'startle' effect. It's easy to explain an eerie setting or ominous environment, but that JUMP effect is more difficult.

Anyways, in a nutshell, 2 friends embark upon a road trip to a haunted Bed & Breakfast. They're hoping for a good stay, spooky moments and maybe even see or hear a *gasp* ghost. There are only about 4 guest rooms at this place and it is run by an elderly couple who have been renting out the rooms at the popular haunted destination for years.
*Back story on B&B* Early 1900s, a family - The Bradfords - lived in the house. Long story short, dad went crazy, killed his wife, his daughter and the maid and that family is now haunting the place. The most haunted room is where the 'dad' had killed himself after murdering his family.

The people staying in the B&B are the 2 girls (say early 20s - who the story mainly focuses around), a newlywed couple who, for some odd reason, chose the haunted B&B as their honeymoon destination, 2 males (early 20s) who are in the middle of a road trip with a camper who came upon the B&B by chance and decided to stay a few days, and a creepy, quiet writer who is there for the soul purpose of research on haunted places - or so we think. And of course, the elderly couple who run it.

Creepy things happen, maybe people start disappearing, finding odd objects, blood, lies, etc, etc. One character has a hate for another for no reason, they've never even met before. Maybe everything isn't as it seems at the haunted Bradford House. Who will end up dead, and who will be alive? Will anyone even get out of the house in the end?? Not even I know for sure.

Anywho, that's 'bout it. I don't like explaining too much for fear I will ruin it.
Let me know if it sounds like an interesting read or not (if you can tell from my brief, random blurb).

Til next time.
-A

Writer's Block

2009-09-26T15:03:00.003-06:00

It hurts.

It's kicking my ass harder than that Rocky with the huge Russian. Though, much like Rocky, I'll end up on top. Eventually. "AADDRRRIIIAAANNNNN!"

Since I can't concentrate enough to write in any of my stories, I will focus my attention to zee blog so I can at least yet some words down. Even if it's just to make myself feel better.

Back to Rocky IV. Much advice from Duke:

Duke: You're gonna have to go through hell, worse than any nightmare you've ever dreamed. But when it's over, I know you'll be the one standing. You know what you have to do. Do it.

Do it! Stupid writer's block. I'll show you. I know what I have to do... Actually, I don't, but I know that at some point I'll be like *ding*! And write a million pages.

I think my writer's block = sleep deprived. I'm so tired. And when I'm tired my mind is this: --------------------- * ----- **** -------------- zzzzzzz -----.

The stars usually represent hunger. Or. Other need-to-attend emotions. I don't think I've ever had the 'Block' this bad. I've tried to sit and make myself (I know, I know, you can never make yourself write. At least you shouldn't. It'll come when it wants to). But for me, if I sit down and say, "lookie here fingers, you're going to just write and the ideas will follow", it usually works. Not lately. I don't know what's going on with me, but I don't like it. Evil, evil.

I also blame it on my urge to read opposed to write. Lately I've been craving the good reads and therefore reading = less time for writing. But I do enjoy the books. I also like to blame this silliness on a zillion other little things, but sometimes I think you just need to give yourself a break and 'zen' out your mind. I don't know why, but lately I've thought of about 5 other superb ideas for new stories, but I force myself not to start anymore otherwise I would never finish anything. Which is why I probably HAVEN'T finished a lot.

*Fun Fact* A - good at starting promising stories, horrible at ending them.

I think it's because I get bored with things easily. Then I start something else. And I also get distracted easily. Must. Force. Self. To. Continue. With. Current... Stuff.

Ok, on that note, I'm off to chase bunnies, find those lucky charms, jump over the moon, or try and write something productive today.

Things That Make Me Giggle.

2009-09-24T12:55:00.004-06:00

Well I changed my blog URL to 'thingsshesays', (from the original inkofmind one). And now I'm inspired to do random blog entries on things. Hence, this entry (*queue deep, echo-y voice*): Things That Make Me Giggle...

Lets start it off with a more recent one. You know those times where you're home alone, all by yourself, and suddenly something on TV strikes you funny and you start laughing uncontrollably, then later feel like an idiot because of how much you laughed (not to mention, while no one else was around). Ok, bring in the new Boston Pizza Commercials. It happened to me the other morning and suddenly it came on, if you've seen it you know what I'm talking about (pun on the song Oh Yeah by Yello): Ohhhhh Boston Pizzaaaa.... *bum bum* Ohhhh... Salad... . Seriously. Whenever those commercials come on now it brings on the giggle fit.

Next up: People falling down. I know it's rude, and maybe a little cruel, but HONESTLY. When you're walking down the sidewalk and you witness the person in front of you trip and then look around to see if anyone noticed, and there you are laughing like an idiot, embarassing the poor fella (or gal). You can't tell me you haven't laughed at someone who has tripped and/or fallen down. It's instinct built within us to laugh. It's just a funny thing to see. I laugh at MYSELF when I trip or fall. It's especially funny when there's ice and you see 3 people in a row slip (and almost fall) on the same patch, then try and recover all smoothly like nothing happened. LOL. Just picturing people tripping is making me laugh. Don't think I'm a total bitch, I generally ask them if they're ok (after the laughing fit is over...).

Something that is ALWAYS good for a chuckle, Leslie Neilsen. I think he's one of the funniest men IN THE WORLD. He's hilarious. If I'm ever in a frump, just chuck in Naked Gun (any of them), Wrongfully Accused, Scary Movie, Airplane, any of them. He is one funny f***er.

Myself. I'm just saying. You're one with yourself if you're able to laugh at your own stupidity. And this is something I do often.

Watching drunk people try to dance is also up there. Especially at bars. You know the guys, who think they're all that and kind of push their way into the middle of the dance floor and start busting a move like they're John Travolta? But they don't realize how stupid they look? I love it. Or the girls at the bars who think they're the hottest thing there, but they're practically doing the Elaine from Seinfield.

Actually, just people watching in general is usually good for a laugh. I especially like to 'do voices' for them, as my friends would know. Making up the conversations as you watch people converse. Awesome. That's a good time right there.

There's plenty more, but I feel I should stop here. Oh wait, another one is my bff. When we're together it's like, constant laughter. The kind that afterwards it feels like you just did the ab ripper 6000.

Hm. Moral of the post. Laughter IS the best medicine.

-A

Punta Cana, Here I come!

2009-09-23T14:03:00.004-06:00

Well on November 26th I will be taking my first ever vacation.

Yay!

Going to the Dominican Republic and I'm quite excited. I went on my first ever plane trip last December to Disneyland (for work - I know, right?) and then I was in Toronto in June (again, for work), but NOW I get to go somewhere fantastic and hot and beachy all on my own time and enjoy the things I want to enjoy. This is going to be the furthest away I've ever gone, and I'll actually get to see the ocean! Yes, yes, I know what you're all thinking and no, I've never seen the ocean before. Well, unless you count seeing it from the plane when we were flying to California to Disneyland, but I don't think that counts. I'll get to put my feet on the ocean!

It's only 2 months away, and I'm going to have to start planning. I'm definitely going to hook up to try some windsurfing (picture A flying as we speak), would love to do a zip line and lots of other fun stuff.

I'm going with my mom, but I promised her that I would take her on our first trip (out of Canada anyways). It should be a blast.

I'm finally starting to do some of the things I've been wanting to do for the past couple years but haven't due to anxiety and a lot of reasons towards this. IE) tattoo, VACATION, next up I'm still trying to find some online courses for writing (no luck yet...)

Punta Cana! *high five*

-A

Goal fullfilled!

2009-09-19T23:38:00.006-06:00

So in a previous post I mentioned that I wanted to do something for a memorable Summer '09. I had only a few days left until it was officially fall. But! I have successfully done something that is definitely memorable for my Summer '09.

I finally got my tattoo.

I've been wanting to get one FOREVER and since I was about 14, I knew the first one I wanted to get was the symbol for Gemini. And now I have it.

It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would (if anyone has ever gotten anything waxed, that hurts more than a tattoo!) I'm quite giddy about it, I love it. The dude who did it was pretty fantastic as well.

So, congrats to me! Ink virginity has been lost.

Here's to Summer '09! Now bring on the fall.

-A

Operation: PJ Pants

2009-09-17T09:13:00.004-06:00

Ok so, recently I've gotten into sewing. I know what you're thinking, but my friend had told me a few months ago how she's (basically a domestic goddess, a young golden girl, a craftsy sewer/knitter/crocheter, etc, etc). I've always been the creative type (minus drawing/sketching - I can't even draw stick people properly..). So she got me all interested in this sewing business. I love fashion and have always wanted to be able to create things.

So anyways, I bought a sewing machine a couple months ago and had proceeded into my first project. I had been looking for a good hobo bag for a while, yet had not found the one. I'm very picky with purses (*cough* purse fetish). So I was bound and determined to make my own hobo bag. Long story short - I had found a pattern online for something 'similar' to what I wanted, cut out the pattern and then ALTERED it, cut out differently, made this longer, that bigger, yada yada yada. So basically I'm working with my own creation and hoping it all worked once I started sewing the thing together. In the end it worked out quite well! I was surprised. Shocked. Mom was proud (she still won't stop talking about it), so now I'm a little bit confident with my sewing skills having my first project be a fairly decent bag if you ask me.

Next project - pj pants. Apparently I've been told that I should have started with pj pants as it is a lot easier than the purse. Originally I was thinking pj SHORTS, however now that summer is slowly disappearing I may do the pants. And this one is going to be all me because I can't really find a pattern for what I want. So I may just wing it and see what will come out of it.

I'll try to post a picture of the pants once they are complete. In the mean time here's a quick snap of the bag.

Wish me luck with my future creation. I hope it turns out ok!

-A (aka designer in the making. aka an 86 year old in a 22 year old's body.)

Being cool by doing school?

2009-09-15T21:30:00.003-06:00

So I've been contemplating going back to school for quite some time now. Don't get me wrong, I'm only 22, however I was an honor student throughout my entire life and ever since I graduated high school I've been feeling like I'm wasting my "smarts" if you will. I didn't immediately apply to colleges/universities like most of my friends mainly because I didn't know what I wanted to go for exactly. And I wasn't about to waste oodles of money on something I wouldn't even use (don't even get me started on tuition costs, etc, etc).

So anyways, after 4 years of working full time I've gotten used to the continuous paycheques, but can't help but feel this empty void inside of me to pursue something even if it was just for my own benefit.

I love reading and writing and always have. I'm always writing in my free time and have been contemplating taking an actual course on writing/editing/publishing for the last couple months. My only fear is, well failing of course, and I want to take courses online so I can got at my own pace and still be able to work full time (hey, I've got rent and bills to play). I'm also worried that I won't be able to concentrate or take it seriously enough or be able to actually sit down and make myself work on assignments (Ms. procrastination AND Ms. ADD here...)

Anyways, so I'm going to contact some places to inquire of any distance/online writing courses that they offer. I have to admit that I'm a little excited of the possibility of doing school work again (*COUGH* nerd *cough cough*), but a little nervous and scared at the same time.

Well, we'll see how this goes. I'll let you know if I ever sign up for official courses!

Labor Day

2009-09-07T13:25:00.002-06:00

Well today is extremely uneventful in my land. A day off from work (hurrah!), however I have spent this day doing, well, nothing really. I feel like I'm wasting my day away (I hate that).
Though, what has kept me entertained is the Law & Order SVU marathon on the Mystery Channel (gotta love that channel). I hate when I have an unproductive day because then I look back on it in disgust and wish I would have done something. I'm doing laundry, so I guess that counts for something, right?
Don't get me wrong, I've been trying to force myself to write because I wanted to use this long weekend to get pages and pages out and I can't seem to concentrate enough to write anything! Argh, one of my pet peeves. It's not even writer's block, it's just the fact that I can't focus long enough to go and go. It's weird, I find myself able to write the most and concentrate the best at night. I think it has something to do with it being light out or something (vampire writer?).
Anyways, nothing really else to say, nothing exciting anyways. Hopefully I'll have something better to blog next time :D

X-Isle 1: 1st Synopsis ROUGH DRAFT

2009-09-04T11:15:00.003-06:00

So I just jotted down a first possible synopsis for X-Isle part 1. Decided to post it up here, remember it's just a rough draft summary, but on the off chance people are reading this, I'd love to know what you think. Would YOU read it from this summary?

When seven college friends decide to embark upon an unforgettable spring vacation out at sea, they expect nothing but sunshine and good times. But what they don't expect is the disturbing presence of the older boat captain or the sudden flash storm that capsizes the boat and separates the group, stranding them on a desert island. When the malicious boat captain is found dead, the group spirals into a dramatic series of struggling to get rescued, drama, death, buried secrets and even some unexpected romance. Will they ever get rescued? Who will end up dead? One thing's for sure - nobody expected a spring break quite like this one.

September?!

2009-09-03T13:41:00.002-06:00

Oy Vey...

You know when you're just sitting there, minding your own business then suddenly BAM!

No, I'm not talking about getting hit by a bus, I'm saying that something hits you out of no where and you struggle to grasp the situation at hand. Said situation today, it's September...

Where the hell did summer go? That's what I'd like to know. And apparently today I'm rhyming like Dr. Seuss, perhaps this is how I handle the news... Ok, I'll stop. I deal with the days all the time, I mean for half the day I'm doing statistics (I work in travel, long story), so I'm forever writing dates on things and yet just now it hits me as I look at my phone display (as I do 10 million times a day...) and see SEP 3. WOah! Dude! Bring back July! I felt like we only got a nibble then all of a sudden all the little minions are back to school? And what's with the +30 weather now? Where was this a month ago? *sigh* you can never win with Alberta.

In other words, I have to say that as I look back on MY summer, I don't feel like I did anything extraordinary enough. I mean my summer was OK, it wasn't anything spectacular by any means. But I always want to have something and be like 'Oh yeah... Summer '09 baby.' (Not like that, you perverts). I wish I had done something crazy to look back on for summer. I think that after you're out of school, the summer's aren't as important anymore. School defined summer, time off! Two whole months of freedom and the chance to get everything out of your system before you're back in the grinds of the daily routine. Yet, now, as an adult, summer is just another season to watch out your office window. I mean, the sun stays out later sure... But it's sad that you notice fall is coming when it's "Dark out when you wake up now".

Ok, I was speaking of amazing things. I still have a couple weeks. Fall doesn't officially start until Sept 21, so technically I still have time to do something UNBELIEVABLY SPECTACULAR before summer is over.

Will keep you updated.

-A

Thoughts and Mind Clots

2009-08-20T11:17:00.003-06:00

Hm. Well I keep forgetting to blog about stuff. Maybe because I lead a boring life or I just have too much going on to remember! I need a little je ne sais quoi in my life, I think.

Well I've decided I need to stop thinking of new potential story/novel ideas. I have this incessant problem where I start these great ones, and keep starting new ones, but have issues with finishing them. I need more self control, come on imagination, one thing at a time! But I guess it's better to keep thinking of things rather than not think of anything. Ok, lets be positive and look at the bright side, yada yada yada.

One of my MOST prized things ever has got to be the story ("novel") that my BFF and I have been writing for like the past 3 years. We used to do it in high school a lot (a different story) where we would pass this binder back and forth between classes and that one got up to over 600 written pages. Then a while after we graduated, we were like hey. We should do this again (through the fabulous technology of email, seeing as she was now living in Red Deer, me in Edmonton). So off we went, thought of an idea, started it, kept going. Now, we're on 'Part 3'. The first is over 200 pages typed, but apparently we weren't done with this idea and started part 2 which reached almost 300 pages typed and recently we have gone on to part 3. Why not make it a trilogy? Where was I... Right, so this story is like one of the things I hold very dear to me, mainly because we put so much effort into it and these characters have been with us for so long. Now, amongst writing Part 3, she is revising/editing the first part and I'm trying to do the 2nd. This is all between me writing my other stuff.

The title we've had since the beginning is X-Isle. It started as a temporary title, so we're not sure if we'll stick with it, but it makes the most sense because it's what we've called it all this time. It's stuck. Perhaps on my next blog I will try and do a summary of Part 1. And whoever is reading this will have to tell me if it sounds like something that would be interesting. I think we're actually thinking of SERIOUSLY trying to get it published. I mean, it's all there. Time, effort, much thought and many, many 'pow-wows' (this is what we call it when we phone each other and sit down to discuss what will happen next or any future ideas we have for 'the story'). Maybe after we're all done fixing and revising and tidying we will try. It's taking a while, me working full time, her working and being in school. But anyways, next blog I'll try to come up with a blurb on what it's about and maybe eventually I'll post a section of it on here. We shall see!

BTW, I've been looking around at maybe taking some writing courses. Eeks. I was an honor student all through high school and haven't gone to college yet. I kind of feel like it's a waste, but I mean I have a full time job that I usually enjoy so I hadn't really thought I needed to go to school. But now I'm thinking I'd like to do something for me, and for something that I would really like to do.

Well, I'm rambling now. Hopefully at least SOME of this made sense. If not, tough. It's who I am lol. I rarely make sense.

Rod Stewart and other ramblings...

2009-08-12T10:05:00.005-06:00

So I went to the Rod Stewart concert the other night and it was AMAZING. Probably one of the best concerts I've ever been to. I was happy to see that he's still got the moves (despite his 61 yrs of age) and that he can still get women to toss their knickers on stage (Yes, some 50-something woman threw her panties up there). It was funny. But, gotta say, if I had been closer to the stage I probably would have too.

Hmm, what else to go on about. I can't believe it's August 12. Seriously. It feels like just yesterday we were barely scraping out of winter and now it's going to be fall before we know it (I recently saw Halloween candy splayed all over Save On Foods the other day- I almost barfed). This year has flown by, and upon reflection... This has been one crazy year for me. Too much stuff has happened, yet it feels like nothing has happened at all. Ever feel that way? Sometimes I think that I want to do something spectacular. I'm still working on getting a book published (I'm trying, I'm trying), and yesterday I found myself with a thought that I've never had before. And that thought was an honest wonder in my mind, 'maybe I should fly to Europe or Australia for a few months, just to get away.'
Ever feel like that? I've never thought about something like this before, I actually kind of scared myself a little. Something crazy happened to me about a year ago and I've found myself with powerful anxiety, especially if I have to do/go somewhere by myself. Like panic attacks. So for me to think 'hey, I wonder what it would be like to go across the world -by myself- for a few months'. It's just nuts. I think it really shows that I need to get away. I have too much going on in my head and sometimes I just think I need to get away by myself for a while to sort things out.

Sigh, maybe some day.

Rod f'ing Stewart!

2009-08-10T13:30:00.002-06:00

I'm going to his concert tonight. I've loved this guy since I can remember, back in the day when I'd listen to my dad's casette tapes (that plus the Eagles, Black Crowes, Creedence Clearwater...).

And tonight, I get to see ROD STEWART LIVE. I'm so excited, have had these tickets since like March (Oh August, how you've snuck up on us all...) People at work have been making fun of me for how excited I've been for this day, but honestly I don't care! I know I'll be surrounded by many horny 50-somethings, but I'm ok with it. I'll be screaming louder than any of them!

Now I just need to find some leopard spandex and I'm good to go.

Hope to post at least 1 picture from tonight... Haven't blogged a pic yet, but should be easy to figure out. I haven't been to a concert since The Killers were in town in April, but that was an AMAZING concert, they're really good live. Got my stamp of approval.

So tonight, Rod Stewart, and perhaps I will be able to smuggle an ACDC ticket from someone before the 26th.

Man, this year has been great for concerts. I only wish I had more $$$.

CM Cast Broken!

2009-08-03T21:39:00.002-06:00

So Shemar Moore just broke his leg and Matt Gubler is still recovering from a knee surgery. I think they're filming 2nd or 3rd episode of the new season right now and they're all getting broken! Poor guys, wonder if they're going to work it into the storyline somehow.

Just had to do a quick mention. Hoping for a quick recovery for both and hoping for another slamming season! Can't wait!

The Blog

2009-08-01T14:27:00.003-06:00

So I'm still trying to figure out how this whole blog thing works. Is anyone even reading my blog? How do I get more people to read it? Does it even matter if anyone reads it?

These are all very good questions, and ones that I am trying to find the answers to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a "blog whore" or anything, and I like to write just to write. This is a good helper tool in making me write when I can't write anywhere else. A wise person once said, the best way to become a writer is to write 10 minutes every day. It doesn't matter what you write about, as long as you just put pen to paper (or fingers to keys) and just let it flow. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. It helps open those creativity gates and allows for easier access to your imagination.

That being said, is it a big deal if anyone is reading this right now besides myself? Not really. But it would be nice.

Awesome Website

2009-07-30T08:06:00.006-06:00

Ok, so for any of you who are into Criminal Minds like I am (*cough* obsessed *cough*), and the fantastic Dr. Spencer Reid... Check out Matthew Gray Gubler's web page. Seriously, I was wow'd when I came upon it, this guy's got some serious artistic talent. And who would of thought the amazingly talented actor would also turn out to be a down to earth, hilariously funny, artsy guy? It just makes him all the more likeable, if you ask me.

I was also idiotically pleased when I saw on his web page that he admires Edgar Allan Poe and his beautiful poem Annabel Lee. E.A.P. is my favorite literary artist in the world, I adore his work. Annabel Lee is my favorite poem (right after The Raven).

So anyways, check out his web page and his crazy art work. You may be pleasantly surprised.

http://www.matthewgraygubler.com/

Hair Dye Musings

2009-07-27T18:59:00.003-06:00

Well, here I sit with 10 minutes left before I have to wash out my hair dye and figured I'd better blog about it. Why not?

I've got Freaks and Geeks going on in the background. Has anyone ever watched that show? I've just started recently and I love it, it's so funny. It's almost like a more laid back, funnier version of Degrassi.

I've been trying to keep up with a lot of things lately, a 3-part novel that my friend and I have been writing for 3 years (pretty much 3 novels in 1), my own novel I started a few months ago, Facebooking, Twittering (trying to get more followers!), working, keeping up with friends who I'm terribly upset that I've lost a lot of contact with a lot of them... And to add to it, it's summer and it's hot and there's so much going on.

And yet, here I sit, blogging away and dying my hair.

*Sigh*

Time to rinse!

Magazine

2009-07-09T11:16:00.004-06:00

So as I was laying in bed last night, trying to get to sleep, my mind is turning as always.You all know what I'm talking about, how you think of everything while you're lying there, waiting for sleep to take you over: Work, must remember to bring that piece of paper to work tomorrow... I shouldn't have had that third piece of pizza... I wonder if it's going to rain tomorrow? God, now I'll have to find my umbrella I think it's in the closet... But then if it's going to be hot tomorrow I should have done laundry...

You know how it works. So where was I... Right, Last night I was laying in bed and I thought of an idea. I'm going to make my own magazine. Hopefully get a couple friends who would care to venture with me on this project, hopefully a monthly thing with different columns (advice/fashion/celebs/volunteer work/events/etc, etc). I even thought of a name. lol But first I'll see if I can get some people to help me out. I'm thinking I'll need 2 volunteers.

I'll keep you posted.

How do you like them apples?

A Demon in the Night

2009-07-04T14:43:00.001-06:00

These thoughts, these feelings,
The taunting.
These unexplainable hauntings.
A fleeting power of might,
Lost by the demon in the night.
Unbalanced reasons to agree
Bare mixed with hopes of sanity,
A sense of humanity.
These answers within my sight
Broken by the demon in the night.
Grasping at straws of reality,
Bound tight into the ground,
The weight will bring it down,
But I will fight, I will fight,
Against the demon in the night.
Masked is the face of the truth,
The answers blind before me,
How do I set myself free?
From the tragedy of this vicious flight,
These aggressive taunts within my sight,
Rearing its ugly head into my life,
I am my own demon in the night.
I pry and I cry,
I try as I might.
To relinquish these thoughts of the demon in the night,
My savior, my thorn,
My inabilities reborn,
By this ghastly vision of terror in the night,
By fear so blinding and bright,
No sense of truth, no sense of right,
My own crazed lack of insight.
Of this terror, this error,
This taunting flight,
This weakening power to fight,
My lack of will tonight.
My savior, my thorn,
My own demon in the night.

Be not who you are, but who you want to be...

2009-07-03T22:32:00.001-06:00

We all know who we are, we know how people perceive us - family, friends, loved ones, strangers. We know the way we act or react in certain situations, the emotions that overcome us and effect us in the long run. But in what way do we see ourselves? I doubt it's exactly the same as others see us, even though a lot of it is true and it's not like we're going around acting like someone we're not (even though some of us do...). But when it truly matters, when you throw everything out on the table, is who we are the person we want to be?

Some people say, 'The only way to be happy is to be honest with yourself and be true to who you are.' Obviously these people haven't been in certain situations. Some of us can't be honest with ourselves because then it would bring out demons that we would rather keep buried. You might not admit it, but everyone has things hidden that they don't exactly keep on their sleeves. In order to be honest with yourself, you need to wholly and unconditionally accept every thought, feeling, and epidemic that crosses your mind. Some of us can't do this. Some of us can't be who we are meant to be, or who we want to be. There are things that you need to consider other people with or think about how this would effect others (I'm not counting those self-absorbed, heartless, robot-people). Is it worth it to be honest with your TRUE self if the repercussions are hurting someone you love or throwing their whole world upside down? Not really, because then sure, you would be honest with yourself, but you were obviously not honest with them. What is more important? That's a debate for another time...

Being true to who you are is another questionable point. If you were completely true to yourself, you wouldn't be hiding from something inside of you, you wouldn't ignore certain thoughts, feelings or epidemics that cross your mind. Sometimes people aren't able to be honest with themselves or be true to themselves, because it's only a catch 22. If you were, you may not be who you are right now. If you never do, you may never be who you are meant to be.

So does this mean, if we aren't true to ourselves we aren't who we are? If this is true, I think there's a hell of a lot of us who need to do some serious soul searching and indulge in some self acceptance (me being one of them). Sometimes we can't be true to ourselves. Who we are is who we are, and if we were true to ourselves, and completely honest with ourselves, we may not be who we are today. It may be for the better, it may be for the worst... All of this comes in time after a long (or short) journey of self commitment. Some of us can't do that, some don't want to and they are completely fine with who they are and don't feel the need to change or be who they TRULY are, and some of us just can't because of the effect that that change and 'self-acceptance' would have on those around us.

So let me ask you this. Are any of us truly happy then? All I can say is be not who you are, but who you want to be. Fight for your goals and your dreams, everyone deserves it. It may not come today, it may not come tomorrow, but eventually I hope we can all find the strength to be truly happy. I know it will take time for me to come to some self honesty, that's for sure.

Thanks for listening.

Encre d'esprit = Ink of Mind

2009-07-03T22:18:00.000-06:00

Ahh, the first blog in blog universe. How I have finally succumbed to announcing my thoughts and opinions to the online world.

I have to admit, I'm kind of excited.