Thursday, July 30, 2009

Awesome Website

Ok, so for any of you who are into Criminal Minds like I am (*cough* obsessed *cough*), and the fantastic Dr. Spencer Reid... Check out Matthew Gray Gubler's web page. Seriously, I was wow'd when I came upon it, this guy's got some serious artistic talent. And who would of thought the amazingly talented actor would also turn out to be a down to earth, hilariously funny, artsy guy? It just makes him all the more likeable, if you ask me.

I was also idiotically pleased when I saw on his web page that he admires Edgar Allan Poe and his beautiful poem Annabel Lee. E.A.P. is my favorite literary artist in the world, I adore his work. Annabel Lee is my favorite poem (right after The Raven).

So anyways, check out his web page and his crazy art work. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Hair Dye Musings

Well, here I sit with 10 minutes left before I have to wash out my hair dye and figured I'd better blog about it. Why not?

I've got Freaks and Geeks going on in the background. Has anyone ever watched that show? I've just started recently and I love it, it's so funny. It's almost like a more laid back, funnier version of Degrassi.

I've been trying to keep up with a lot of things lately, a 3-part novel that my friend and I have been writing for 3 years (pretty much 3 novels in 1), my own novel I started a few months ago, Facebooking, Twittering (trying to get more followers!), working, keeping up with friends who I'm terribly upset that I've lost a lot of contact with a lot of them... And to add to it, it's summer and it's hot and there's so much going on.

And yet, here I sit, blogging away and dying my hair.


Time to rinse!

Thursday, July 9, 2009


So as I was laying in bed last night, trying to get to sleep, my mind is turning as always.You all know what I'm talking about, how you think of everything while you're lying there, waiting for sleep to take you over: Work, must remember to bring that piece of paper to work tomorrow... I shouldn't have had that third piece of pizza... I wonder if it's going to rain tomorrow? God, now I'll have to find my umbrella I think it's in the closet... But then if it's going to be hot tomorrow I should have done laundry...

You know how it works. So where was I... Right, Last night I was laying in bed and I thought of an idea. I'm going to make my own magazine. Hopefully get a couple friends who would care to venture with me on this project, hopefully a monthly thing with different columns (advice/fashion/celebs/volunteer work/events/etc, etc). I even thought of a name. lol But first I'll see if I can get some people to help me out. I'm thinking I'll need 2 volunteers.

I'll keep you posted.

How do you like them apples?

Saturday, July 4, 2009

A Demon in the Night

These thoughts, these feelings,
The taunting.
These unexplainable hauntings.
A fleeting power of might,
Lost by the demon in the night.
Unbalanced reasons to agree
Bare mixed with hopes of sanity,
A sense of humanity.
These answers within my sight
Broken by the demon in the night.
Grasping at straws of reality,
Bound tight into the ground,
The weight will bring it down,
But I will fight, I will fight,
Against the demon in the night.
Masked is the face of the truth,
The answers blind before me,
How do I set myself free?
From the tragedy of this vicious flight,
These aggressive taunts within my sight,
Rearing its ugly head into my life,
I am my own demon in the night.
I pry and I cry,
I try as I might.
To relinquish these thoughts of the demon in the night,
My savior, my thorn,
My inabilities reborn,
By this ghastly vision of terror in the night,
By fear so blinding and bright,
No sense of truth, no sense of right,
My own crazed lack of insight.
Of this terror, this error,
This taunting flight,
This weakening power to fight,
My lack of will tonight.
My savior, my thorn,
My own demon in the night.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Be not who you are, but who you want to be...

We all know who we are, we know how people perceive us - family, friends, loved ones, strangers. We know the way we act or react in certain situations, the emotions that overcome us and effect us in the long run. But in what way do we see ourselves? I doubt it's exactly the same as others see us, even though a lot of it is true and it's not like we're going around acting like someone we're not (even though some of us do...). But when it truly matters, when you throw everything out on the table, is who we are the person we want to be?

Some people say, 'The only way to be happy is to be honest with yourself and be true to who you are.' Obviously these people haven't been in certain situations. Some of us can't be honest with ourselves because then it would bring out demons that we would rather keep buried. You might not admit it, but everyone has things hidden that they don't exactly keep on their sleeves. In order to be honest with yourself, you need to wholly and unconditionally accept every thought, feeling, and epidemic that crosses your mind. Some of us can't do this. Some of us can't be who we are meant to be, or who we want to be. There are things that you need to consider other people with or think about how this would effect others (I'm not counting those self-absorbed, heartless, robot-people). Is it worth it to be honest with your TRUE self if the repercussions are hurting someone you love or throwing their whole world upside down? Not really, because then sure, you would be honest with yourself, but you were obviously not honest with them. What is more important? That's a debate for another time...

Being true to who you are is another questionable point. If you were completely true to yourself, you wouldn't be hiding from something inside of you, you wouldn't ignore certain thoughts, feelings or epidemics that cross your mind. Sometimes people aren't able to be honest with themselves or be true to themselves, because it's only a catch 22. If you were, you may not be who you are right now. If you never do, you may never be who you are meant to be.

So does this mean, if we aren't true to ourselves we aren't who we are? If this is true, I think there's a hell of a lot of us who need to do some serious soul searching and indulge in some self acceptance (me being one of them). Sometimes we can't be true to ourselves. Who we are is who we are, and if we were true to ourselves, and completely honest with ourselves, we may not be who we are today. It may be for the better, it may be for the worst... All of this comes in time after a long (or short) journey of self commitment. Some of us can't do that, some don't want to and they are completely fine with who they are and don't feel the need to change or be who they TRULY are, and some of us just can't because of the effect that that change and 'self-acceptance' would have on those around us.

So let me ask you this. Are any of us truly happy then? All I can say is be not who you are, but who you want to be. Fight for your goals and your dreams, everyone deserves it. It may not come today, it may not come tomorrow, but eventually I hope we can all find the strength to be truly happy. I know it will take time for me to come to some self honesty, that's for sure.

Thanks for listening.

Encre d'esprit = Ink of Mind

Ahh, the first blog in blog universe. How I have finally succumbed to announcing my thoughts and opinions to the online world.

I have to admit, I'm kind of excited.