Be not who you are, but who you want to be...

We all know who we are, we know how people perceive us - family, friends, loved ones, strangers. We know the way we act or react in certain situations, the emotions that overcome us and effect us in the long run. But in what way do we see ourselves? I doubt it's exactly the same as others see us, even though a lot of it is true and it's not like we're going around acting like someone we're not (even though some of us do...). But when it truly matters, when you throw everything out on the table, is who we are the person we want to be?

Some people say, 'The only way to be happy is to be honest with yourself and be true to who you are.' Obviously these people haven't been in certain situations. Some of us can't be honest with ourselves because then it would bring out demons that we would rather keep buried. You might not admit it, but everyone has things hidden that they don't exactly keep on their sleeves. In order to be honest with yourself, you need to wholly and unconditionally accept every thought, feeling, and epidemic that crosses your mind. Some of us can't do this. Some of us can't be who we are meant to be, or who we want to be. There are things that you need to consider other people with or think about how this would effect others (I'm not counting those self-absorbed, heartless, robot-people). Is it worth it to be honest with your TRUE self if the repercussions are hurting someone you love or throwing their whole world upside down? Not really, because then sure, you would be honest with yourself, but you were obviously not honest with them. What is more important? That's a debate for another time...

Being true to who you are is another questionable point. If you were completely true to yourself, you wouldn't be hiding from something inside of you, you wouldn't ignore certain thoughts, feelings or epidemics that cross your mind. Sometimes people aren't able to be honest with themselves or be true to themselves, because it's only a catch 22. If you were, you may not be who you are right now. If you never do, you may never be who you are meant to be.

So does this mean, if we aren't true to ourselves we aren't who we are? If this is true, I think there's a hell of a lot of us who need to do some serious soul searching and indulge in some self acceptance (me being one of them). Sometimes we can't be true to ourselves. Who we are is who we are, and if we were true to ourselves, and completely honest with ourselves, we may not be who we are today. It may be for the better, it may be for the worst... All of this comes in time after a long (or short) journey of self commitment. Some of us can't do that, some don't want to and they are completely fine with who they are and don't feel the need to change or be who they TRULY are, and some of us just can't because of the effect that that change and 'self-acceptance' would have on those around us.

So let me ask you this. Are any of us truly happy then? All I can say is be not who you are, but who you want to be. Fight for your goals and your dreams, everyone deserves it. It may not come today, it may not come tomorrow, but eventually I hope we can all find the strength to be truly happy. I know it will take time for me to come to some self honesty, that's for sure.

Thanks for listening.