Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Strange Dreams

Typing is proving to be difficult.

I accidentally sliced the tip of my finger with a large bread knife last night and the large, awkward bandaid at the tip of my index finger will be annoying throughout the day. Work shall be fun...

Anyways, I just wanted to take note of the bizarre dream I had last night. At one point, my friend and coworker (random) got into the elevator at work and were going up. When the elevator passed our floor without stopping, we kind of looked at each other and then the elevator started inclining faster and faster and we started getting worried. Suddenly it was nearing the top floor and had no intention of stopping, then it burst through the roof of the building and the next thing I know, we're upside down, plummeting back down. We weren't terribly hurt, I think the cables of the elevator (somehow...) stopped us (upside down.. again, somehow...) before we crashed to the ground. Almost like a bungee jump cord..

The next part of the dream, I was at a concert. And Kurt Cobain was there, only he wasn't singing for Nirvana, he was singing for Nine Inch Nails. And his real name was actually Keaton Kan. And when he came down to the stage, on a rope dropping from the roof (and the stage was a boxing ring...) he was in a yellow polka dot dress. Yes...

What does it all mean? Who knows... I'm trying to think what I took before I went to sleep, but I didn't take anything...

I'll wait to see what tonight's unconscious thoughts bring.


Monday, December 28, 2009

Post Christmas Thoughts

Well, Christmas has come and gone. It always passes so quickly and next it will be New Year's followed by the apprehension of what 2010 will bring. I'm planning on making 2010 an awesome year, seeing as 2009 was pretty much a busy with everything that had happened (economy, H1N1, people passing away -in my family at least-). Speaking of which, I found out yesterday my uncle passed away (my dad's brother). I wasn't overly close with him, in fact most of us haven't seen him in about a year. Though this is the part of the family who lost their mom and dad (my granny and grampa) within 3 days of each other only a year and a half ago. This had rocked everyone very hard, even after all this time I am still recuperating from it. And now my uncle has passed away amongst the holiday, so my thoughts are out to my family and I am hoping everyone will pull through ok. The cause of his death is unknown at the moment, but from what I have gathered is people are thinking it was either a heart attack or that it was self inflicted. For my family's sake, I am hoping it is the first as the latter may pain family members even more so. I think there is a lot of guilt in peoples' minds and hearts during this time, so my prayers and thoughts are with them.

On lighter, more happier notes, I had a fairly good Christmas. It is always good to go back home and see everyone. This year I got to see family members whom I haven't seen in ages (My, how people grow up. I used to babysit a lot of them and know they're all taller than I am...). I received some very exciting gifts (new digital camera from my bf, large bookshelf from my parents - which I desperately need, an amazing book on the Canadian Writer's Market from my brother) and many other amazing prezzies.

2010 is creeping up and I have a few things I am hoping to do or accomplish in the coming year. I don't really believe in 'New Year's Resolutions', mainly because it sets the bar so high and then you feel bad when you don't do them. I would rather 'hope' to do things and if I actually do them, well then I will be happy. So what's in store for Ashley in 2010? A few of the things on my 'goal list' include perhaps APPLYING for school courses (writing and French), cooking more seeing as I haven't been doing a lot of it in the past couple months due to being busy and I love to cook (I guess trying new and crazy recipes will be included in this), sewing more, being more self disciplined with focusing on writing and pushing myself more like I did during NaNo in November (what an eye opener and confidence build that was!) and also spending more time with friends. There's probably a few more entailed in there, but that's a taste for now.

I wish everyone a fantastic New Year's (and New Year's Eve!) and remember again, to be safe and don't drink and drive.


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Xmas Eve & Amazing People

It's Christmas Eve already. Am I the only one who still doesn't think it TRULY feels like Christmas yet?? I have a feeling it will once the 3 hour drive I have to make this afternoon is over and I'm back home.

This will be the first time that my brother won't be waking up with us back home on Christmas day. It's sad, and will be weird, but I guess now that he has a serious girlfriend he is entitled to spend Christmas morning at her house (they'd better be at our parent's next year!), so I have to get used to it. I remember when we were younger, we weren't allowed to be up before 7am xmas morning, but (obviously) being too excited we would be up at like 4am watching the clock. My brother would always tip toe out to the living room to check out the stash and then come back to my room to report to me on the sight of the presents under the tree. Don't get me wrong, he (and his gf) will be there in the afternoon sometime, but it will still be strange not having him there to open presents.

I'm excited to go home, I haven't been back since Thanksgiving (which technically, for me, isn't that long between home visits - sometimes it will be like 6 months before we make the trek to the country).

Switching to an entirely different topic, I feel the need to mention my dear Twitter friend (@krystalarson) as I have just finished catching up on her blog - http://krystaslittleworld.blogspot.com/
This girl is amazing and I admire her so much even after only knowing her for a few months or so (has it been that long already?!) She recently got accepted into her dream job and has moved to Dubai a couple weeks ago in order to make it happen. She went through the amazing ordeal of leaving her family and amazing boyfriend to MOVE to Dubai in order to achieve her life long dream. She is an amazing woman - determined, motivated, strong, charismatic - And someone anyone could look up to and think, I can pursue my dreams, it IS possible to achieve the things you want most out of life. I'm so unbelievably proud of her. Her intense fear of needles hasn't even stopped her (hello multiple blood tests) - this alone I'm incredibly proud of her for. I'm so excited for her and her adventures now, and I really hope she continues with informing us of them on her blog. I'm rooting for you girl (represent Canadians!). I know being Christmas Eve you are probably insanely homesick right now (I can't even imagine), but all I can say is to enjoy it and spend it with your new found friends (I'm sure they are homesick too!). And hang in there tiger, keep remembering what spectacular adventures you will be embarking upon and how proud your family and everyone back home is! I wish you the very best friend!

Well, I'll see you all after Christmas and I hope everyone has a great holiday! Stay safe and never drink and drive.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Christmas Cheer & Great Designs

Ahh tis the season to be jolly, no?

Yesterday I went forward with phase 4 of Ash's Christmas Cheer and bought some toys for underprivileged children. It's sort of amazing to think that you're going to make some kids feel so special just for giving them a toy on Christmas. Not a lot of kids grew up (or are growing up) like many of you and I, and just the thought of spending a few dollars that would equal a dinner one evening or that t-shirt we had to buy, yet never wear, to buy toys that could mean the world to one child... It makes me feel amazing and I found I was even being tedious with what I was purchasing. My boyfriend standing beside me going "Why does it matter, it's just a toy..?" And my reply, well I don't want it to be some stupid toy that no kid would want. I wanted it to be something cool, something flashy (what are the kids into nowadays anyways!? We didn't have this much selection when we were kids, that's for sure. I had ninja turtles, and back then there were only 4 to pick from.. That or Lego..). So I picked a few out that looked pretty awesome (Hey, I almost kept one for myself..). I hope whoever receives it likes it and puts a smile on their face. Even if it's just for a day, I would be glad to know that something, no matter how little it is, made someone feel good about themselves.

On another note, for any of you who have been watching Survivor: Samoa, you must obviously know Brett Clouser (Side Note: I totally have a 12 yr old crush on this guy. *sigh*...). Following him Twitter (@TMOOH) and for you die hard Survivor fans, you will know that he has his own clothing design website called The Monument of Our Hearts. These clothes have an AMAZING purpose, sending the message of healthy body image. Their purpose is to show that everyone is beautiful and to promote healthy self-image in everyone. They are also environmentally conscious, producing their products domestically and they are partnered up with non-profit organizations. All around, great clothing with a great message. I just ordered my very first t-shirt (the Cubism) and if you act now through Sunday, you can get 10% off by using the code word `galu`at checkout. Strongly urge anyone to visit his website and check it out :) http://www.tmooh.com/

Picture will be posted of me and my new styling, healthy body image producing digs when it arrives ;)

Until next time!
(9 days until Christmas! Get yer shopping done!)


Monday, December 14, 2009

A's Christmas Cheer

In good, Christmas-esque news, I have completed Stage 3 of Ash's Christmas Cheer. Tonight I have made my donation to the Edmonton Humane Society (though, I do this periodically throughout the year anyways). The EHS runs largely on donations and contributions, so I cheerfully and strongly urge anyone to donate to them. Every little bit helps :)

In writing news, I've come up with.. *cough* another new idea. I really have to stop this... Though, to be fair, the last 'great' idea I had has now been pawned off (well, not really) to be the next story my bff and I will write together. Sadly, the X-Isle series will soon be coming to an end and after we at least get SOME of the editing/revising done on all three parts, we will start up another. Hurray!
I do want to go back and fix up my NaNo as I sort of left it hanging RIGHT at the start of the climax. And I do need to change a bit that I left off, and would like to finish the actual story before I start something new. *sigh* I'm terrible at ending stories. Terrible. I always start up something new before I get the chance to think about even touching the ending.

Well, that's about it for now. Didn't really have a point to this one :D


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Playing Catch up

Egads, it's been a while. Time to play catch up (briefly) and talk about some Christmas-y things!

NaNoWriMo 2009 - I did it! As you can see on my blog, I am a winner of NaNo '09 and I don't care what anyone says, I'm gosh darn proud of myself. I was getting a little worried there in the last week before departing for Dominican, but alas, on November 24th I typed like mad and managed to upload just over 50k on the morning of the 25th. The story itself isn't over, I still have about 15k-ish to go, but I will continue working with it and see what I come out with :)

Punta Cana '09 - I went, I sunned, I drank, I loved it and then I came back. Dominican IS gorgeous and to make a loooong, amazing vacationing story short, it was awesome. Great weather, great people and a great time. Then I came back to a blizzard and -20. Go Alberta. Here's a taste of where I was:

In other news, Christmas is quickly approaching. Yikes. I look back and I can't believe how fast this year has gone by! I think 2009 has been a rough year for many of us out there, but my thoughts are - lets make 2010 a gooder!

In the spirit of Christmas, I have been indulging and started something I like to call 'Ash's Christmas Cheer'. Earlier this week at my work, there were these guys working in the back alley of our office building and it was FREEZING out. I think it was -35 that day with the windchill, so needless to say when I saw them I felt kind of bad. I know, I know, these guys work outside doing what they do all the time and know how to dress for it, but still! Anyone working out there has to be chilled to the bone. So on my next break, a colleague came with me to brave the cold and walked to Tim Horton's, buying 6 large coffees (none for us) and struggled back to hand them off to the men working hard in the back alley. They were very surprised and thankful, which in return gave me warm fuzzies for my good deed. It's a feeling I like to have and one that makes braving the cold so worth it. One minute for a good deed = a lifetime of remembering it and giving someone a smile to cheer their day.

Stage 2 of Ashley's Christmas Cheer - I bought Christmas cards and bought scratch tickets to go inside for the other apartments on my floor (10 in total) and my 2 landlords. I haven't handed them out yet, but will this week and hopefully someone will scratch themselves a few bucks, and even if no one does, hopefully the thought put a smile on someone's face.

Stage 3 - It's something I do regularly, but will be donating to Edmonton Humane Society. I strongly support them and urge anyone to donate a couple dollars, their time, or even an item of need to them this holiday season. It's amazing how much those employees do and did you know that it costs $4.2 million dollars to run the Edmonton Humane Shelter every year! Of that amount, almost 40% comes from donations from the public.

Anywho, must stop the post for now or I could ramble on forever. I shouldn't wait this long before blogging again..

Happy Holidays to all and remember to be (and drive!) safe this holiday season.

Spreading her Christmas cheer one person at a time,

Thursday, November 19, 2009

One Week.

One week. That can seem like a lot of time, not enough time, or both at the same time. Enter me!

In exactly 1 week I leave for Punta Cana and in exactly 1 week I have to be at 50k for my Nano. The pressure is cracking down, I just hit 40k so I don't think it's too bad, though with all the stuff I'm doing this weekend and that I need to get done BEFORE I leave on vacation... Yikes. I want to be at 50k by the end of this weekend so next week I can focus on packing and getting stuff done before I leave.

My thoughts on NaNo nearing the end of week 3 and at 40k: It's been exhilarating, self-disciplining, frustrating, but I am enjoying it. Some of the stuff I have written is pretty good if I say so myself, but some of the stuff you spit out on a time crunch is your best work. The only thing I've found is how difficult it is with the simple things. Like remembering a character's last name. You know you mentioned it in the beginning, but seeing as you haven't re-read anything you've written yet (at least I haven't) you have to scroll just to find it. Not re-reading has probably made me make a few mistakes. But that's what next month and the months after that are for.

It's been a learning curve for sure; I never thought I would be able to write this much in such a short amount of time. I had low expectations of myself when I signed up for this, but have learned if I put my mind, fingers, much needed sleeping hours into it, I'm doing alright. I have surprised myself. It's been fun because you develop these characters so fast and pull things out of thin air to just make something to go off of. I know there are some parts where I need to elaborate more on or parts I need to change a bit, but I ignored it and just kept going. I have found that KEY in doing Nanowrimo. Don't ponder on what you've typed and DO NOT delete anything. If you must, just rewrite that scene or just keep going as if you already wrote it, or even go with what you put down, you may surprise yourself with how it can alter the story even better! Rule #4: Do not touch the delete key during your Nano. Unless it's to fix spelling mistakes from typing at Mach 1.

One thing I was incredibly surprised at is the character I *thought* and planned in my head to be the MAIN character, has actually developed to be the secondary character and my original secondary character has become the main one. I don't know how that happened, but I went with it and I think the story is better off this way.

What else have I learned so far... Take examples from real life and shove it into your story. Or if you see something happening on your way home, write that in too. Someone getting mugged, fire trucks parked outside of a building, a car accident... If you ever get stuck just throw in a random curve into your main character's plans. In the first part of my story I wasn't sure where I was going, then I was watching a show where a couple's car broke down and so in return, I made my main characters car break down on the side of the road. On a deserted highway. When they were running from something. Drama, problems, conflict... this will all buy you many, many words and can even strike you to take your story in another direction or beef it up even more.

Anyways, I should get back to writing seeing as I have some down time! Just had to post an update seeing as I've been lacking during this busy month.

Keep knocking on wood for me and sending me encouraging, inspiring thoughts!


Friday, November 13, 2009

I won't talk about NaNo, I won't talk about NaNo...

Ahhh I love days off from work. I'm still in my pjs, hair's a mess and no make up. I've been up since 7.30am (was supposed to be 5.30am, but I slept through my alarm again... Good thing I didn't have to work today...), and I've been busy as a bee. Shot right into writing the 'unmentionable' furiously, trying to pump up my word count. Mix that with sewing away, my third project being pj shorts. This pattern has pockets and I'm starting to debate if I should just skip the pockets. I think it's only because I'm at that step and... *sigh, ok, I'll do the damn pockets...

I love the feeling after you've created something. After making my first hobo bag I was driven to do more. I made a similar one for my bff (shorter strap than mine)- here is a picture (don't mind the rough edges)-

and now I'm on to the clothe-esque projects. Hit up Fabricland's crazy sale last weekend and got a bunch of patterns and the ideas and creations are all floating around in my head, waiting to be made.

I had to take a break because sometimes I start to think too much about how the structure is supposed to fit together and I drive myself mad, then I get frustrated. It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to turn the pj shorts inside out (you laugh now, but if you were at the stage I'm at with them, you would have been confused too). The inside seams are all sewn together and for some reason I couldn't picture how... ok I'll stop.

What else is going on in the world of me... I'm in for a busy couple weeks. I'm at the halfway point of my Na-*cough* , well you know, so I have to pump up the volume (good movie, btw) because for my timeline I'm slacking a bit. Going to watch New Moon next Friday - I really wanted to re-read the books again before I went (Haven't read them since I first got all 4 and read all 4 in a span of a week), but I don't think that will happen, seeing as I have too much going on. I leave for Dominican in less than 2 weeks and I'm finally starting to get excited about it. I meant to tan for a good month before I went, but now there's less than 2 weeks until I go. I'm so screwed. I'm going to come back looking like a lobster and my office Christmas party is the day after I get back. I will rock the lobster look. I'll just be red in the spirit of Christmas.. Maybe I'll wear green and use that as my excuse.

Speaking of Christmas, I can't believe it's next month. How scary. Time is going by way too fast and I don't like it.

I got to see my bff last weekend, which was awesome. I haven't seen her since my birthday in May. Normally we have 'Rum Nights' when we're together, but this time we switched it up and had Co-Ca-Banana Night. It involved homemade pizza making, crazy mis-matched pjs, long island iced teas, and a mini Simpsons marathon. She also brought me a prezzie, his name is Charlie. Apparently we both had creative urges in making gifts for each other.

Anyways, I best stop procrastinating now and get back to.. the unmentionable. The next post will most likely be all about it though seeing as I'm about to celebrate at passing the halfway 25k point.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

NaNo Update and Other Musings

So I had this dream the other night where the world was coming to an end (or something like that), and I was a part of a few selected people who were going to be saved. The queen was even there - though she wasn't old and wrinkly at all, this queen (who was the queen of the WORLD!) she was young and quite beautiful and had red hair. Why I was a part of this group to be saved, I don't know. But my job, my whole task in this 'being saved from the world' thing, was to choose a wine to stock the boat with. The boat that was going to save us, I guess. Me, this person who was specifically selected to be saved from the world in this small, elite group of people, including the queen of the world (seriously, she was probably a only few years older than me) was chosen to choose the wine that the boat would be stocked with. So I remember me sitting around this big table, with the queen, and some other people and we were testing like seven different bottles of wine. That's all I remember.

I know what you're thinking, and don't worry I was thinking it too. I often have bizarre, unexplainable dreams. I wish I could remember them all. Man, what it would be like to be in my unconscious state of mind full time. I bet I would end up in a psych ward.

On another topic, it's now week 2 of NaNoWriMo! Huzzahhhh. My current word count is just a smidgen away from 18,000. I think I'm doing fairly well (at least I hope so), but there's this little annoying voice in the back of my head taunting me and telling me I'm not going to make it. But I just try to kick that voice with my literary power legs and try to ignore it to no end as my fingers fly feverishly over my keyboard. I probably wouldn't be near this far if it wasn't for my bff and her help with planning.
*Fun Fact* - A doesn't believe in outlines. A outlines as she goes along.
The actual story is going pretty well, I feel for how many words I have, my plot is kind of slow, but things will soon pick up. There's nerdlicious awkward flusters, a hot cop, slick haired, evil antagonist and pick-pocketing and conning. Things are picking up nicely.

There's also just over 2 weeks until my trip to Dominican! I've been so busy lately I haven't even had much time to think about it and get excited, but I'm sure it will come soon. Hurray for vacations! I'm just crossing my fingers that I'm not going to get sick with... well I won't say it just for the risk of jinxing it, but y'all know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Knock on wood. A lot. And keep your fingers crossed for me.

Anywho, I could keep blogging away, but alas I must dress myself and get ready for work. Keep cheering me on and sending me good thoughts for NaNo!

Until next time.


Sunday, November 1, 2009

NaNo p4 - The Day After

Ahh I am taking a break from writing to do... more writing. Hello blog!

Let's back track a good 21 hours... It's almost midnight, I just finished watching a marathon of True Blood season 2 (saved the finale for tonight!)and I sit down to start up my NaNo story. It's weird - I knew what my first sentence was going to be word for word, so I got that out first, then the rest kept coming out. My goal was to get maybe a page out or so (I was exhausted), but before I knew it it was almost 2am and I reached the 1,677 word count. Hurray! To bed I went, a happy girl.

Today I woke up, did the lazy Sunday morning thing while adjusting to the time change - coffee, tv, breakfast. And off I went for more NaNo time.

My story is going pretty well so far (knock on wood), I think I got a good kick off for a start. I've tried not to say too much about my plot "idea" in fear of jinxing it (especially before I even started), except my bff - she is my muse and is going to help me brainstorm when the time is needed (I <3 her). I will say this - it starts out with a bang (well, more literally a murder). It was funny - last night as I was starting it off, Cape Fear was playing in the background on my tv (I like to have background noise when I write, else I go crazy), and it was a perfect ominous mood setting to kick off my NaNo.

So right now I lay at 3,225 words. I think that's pretty good (or is it? NaNo virgin here...) My "goal" was to have around 5k words by the end of today. I still have a bit of time left, but had a few things to do this evening. Now it's almost 9pm and I'm crying over the fact that tomorrow is Monday *tear* Hopefully I'll get a bit more write time in tonight, but if not - tomorrow is another day!

So now I'm going to settle in and see if I can spit any more out before sleepy time. Night all, and Happy November!


Saturday, October 31, 2009

NaNo p3 - The Day Before

Ahh, Nano-eve. What are you doing today to prep yourself for the hell of November?

Me, I prefer to take the distraction approach. Ever since I signed up for NaNo, I thought about what I was going to write 1 day. Just 1 day, that's all I let myself really sit down and think about what I was going to write. I had a little pow wow with my bff over the phone, telling her what I got myself into and how I had 0 plot ideas, so I gave her a few I had been tossing around in my mind and she helped me figure out a 'base' of what I would write. Made a few notes (very random, very sparse point form - it's how I roll) and then saved it and haven't looked at it since.

I like to take the surprise approach, I think this will be the best way for me to go. If I think about it too much and make and outline and all that jazz, then I would get bored and not want to write about it anymore. The story will be a surprise to myself and I will go with the flow, get inspired (hopefully) as I write and just see where the story takes ME (opposed to vice versa).

So what am I doing today? This day before NaNoWriMo begins? Well so far I woke up, coffee, Canadian Tire (the bf) and Safeway for some ingredients and stuff for supper. Ingredients are for some bread makin'. That's right, I've had the urge to make bread (from the bread maker, I'm not Martha Stewart people), though I absolutely love to cook. I'm a little chef. Baking isn't much my forté, but I like to do it once in a while. Hence - today I will try some bread, haven't done it for a while.

I also am thinking of making love to my guitar because I haven't for a while. We will play some sweet, sweet music together (maybe). We must be reunited, my guitar and I.

After I'm done writing this, I have to go get my Hep A shot (Phase 2 of needles for Prep for Dominican!), then when I get back I plan on finish writing my part in mine and my bff's story so I can send it back to her before tonight (aka before I have to start on my NaNo). Then I may take in a movie with my bf, thinking of watching the Last House on the Left. Catch up on some True Blood (*cough* addicted *cough*).

All in all, I will do my best to distract myself from thinking of my NaNo. This way when I start it will be fresh. I'm the kind of person who if I think too much on something before I start it, then I bore myself before it even begins and tire myself of the plot idea.

Wish me luck!

p.s. Don't forget to change your clocks back an hour tonight before bed ;) Extra hour for sleeping in.


Thursday, October 22, 2009

Music as Inspiration

One of the main inspirations that gets me going when writing is music. Whether it be soft and melody-like or a hard rock song from the 80s, this has been one of my go-to's when I can't figure out what to write.

Sometimes I will go to bed early just so I can lay in the dark, close my eyes and turn on my iPod - then I let my imagination flow. I even have a playlist on my iPod called "Inspire for iPod" (no joke). When I'm going through the gazillions of songs on my iTunes, or if I hear a song on a commercial or the radio the sparks a little something, I download it for future inspection.

This has helped me IMMENSELY with writing, especially the huge 3-part novel that I'm writing with my BFF. It's the longest piece of fiction I (or we) have ever written and music has played such a big part in it that whenever I hear a certain song I will instantly relate it back to a certain scene in the story.

For example: There's a slow, ominous song that I like and one night I was listening to it while laying in bed (Lucky You by Deftones), and I just try to "feel" the music (Ok, that may sound weird, but stay with me). Whenever I'm writing, probably 95% of the time I picture what is happening inside my head, almost as if it was a movie in my mind. As I listened to this song I could picture the exact way the characters were moving or talking, and it also made me think of grand ideas to go with. If you think of an idea you want to portray in your writing, grab some tunes and almost guaranteed you'll find a song that will match the mood of that scene and it almost boosts your imagination to think of how this scene will play out, or even spark ideas for what will happen before/after.

If I'm ever stuck (writer's block *cough* *cough*), I'll listen to songs that I know will relate to something in the story, whether it be a sad scene, intense scene, hate/fight scene, sex scene, etc, etc, and if I just listen to it a couple time your mind will relay what you want to happen and, in my head at least, plays out like a movie scene. Afterwards, when it comes to write that part (sometimes I'll know what can happen MUCH later in the story, just because I hear a song and know something will happen from it), I play the song and the reel starts going in my head, then transfers to paper (or computer screen).

All in all, music plays a HUGE part for me with plot ideas, inspiration, sparking the imagination, or even just something to have on in the background to relax so I can write.

As a special treat, here are a few songs from my iPod playlist "Inspire for iPod", that have really helped me out with scenes in my writing.

Apocalypse Please - Muse
Goodnight Boy - Arcade Fire
Asleep from Day - The Chemical Brothers
Change - Deftones
Crazy on You - Heart
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Eden - Hooverphonic
Fade into You - Mazzy Star
Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
Lie in the Sound - Tresspassers William
Roads - Portishead
The Scientist - Coldplay
Heroes - David Bowie
Lucky You - Deftones
Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones
Time to Pretend - MGMT
Within You - Ray LaMontagne
Wake Up - Arcade Fire


Saturday, October 17, 2009

NaNoWriMo p2

Ok, so yesterday I caved and officially signed up for NaNoWriMo. Otherwise, I signed my soul away for 1 month when I drive myself to insanity over writing 50,000 words.

Some of you are probably asking, Why???
Why would I put myself through all of this? Well for one, I love to write. Period. Even if it comes out as crap, at least I'm writing something, exercising my fingers, my mind, my *cough* soul. I also love a challenge and lately with all my other literary musings I've been having trouble with the Block, inspiration, MOTIVATION. So here comes Nanowrimo, and it seemed like it was fate. Maybe this will light a fire under my ass!

I admit, I'm a little nervous, anxious, worried (what if I get stuck, what if I can't think of anything else, what if, what if), but then I think, who cares! It's a rough draft. A first rough draft that thousands of people are spitting out at mach 1. So I have a plan, if I get stuck I will get over it. Simple, right? Well, maybe not that simple, but I'll figure something out.

Plot ideas? Not really. I haven't had too much time to think about it and I think that maybe this will be better. This way I'll just start from fresh, maybe as soon as Nov 1st hits the idea will pop into my head and flow to my fingers where I will immediately type 5,000 words (A girl can hope, right?). I'm thinking maybe something comedic mixed with something serious like a murder/mystery. Something that will be fun! Hey, this challenge is about FUN not STRESS, right?

Anyways, I'm off for more coffee now.

Wish me luck come November!


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

National Novel Writing Month

Break out your pencils and grease up your typing fingers, y'all. November is National Novel Writing Month! It's a world wide group that any writer can join in hopes to complete a 50,000 word goal in just thirty days. I JUST found out about this literally like yesterday. Now I'm thinking it might be kind of fun to sign up for it and see if I can make it. It's kind of exciting, kind of nerve-wracking, but I'm debating if I should test my skills (and will power, procrastination, focus, imagination, etc, etc) all with a tight deadline.

Plus, I leave for Dominican on Nov 26, so I would get shorted 5 days... Not fair! lol. I worry that I won't be able to make 50,000 words, but then I think, 'Well, it's not like you'll get yelled at if you don't!'. This is all about having fun, motivation and seeing how far you can go. Everyone should get a huge pat on the back for just trying!

Ok, so maybe I'll give it a whirl. As long as I think of an idea... Hmmm... So many possibilities.

For anyone who wants to check it out, go to: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Blast from the Past

So my book muse reminded me of something the other day - Mentos. Well, not that, but the Mentos reminded me of my grad picture.

They really are the freshmaker.

Book Pimp

I now officially have a book pimp. Yay. This dashing young lady has so graciously agreed to provide me with yummy challenges, (good or kick you in the crotch horrible), I'll take it all.

Twitter can be of so many uses. Meeting great people, chatting with friends, and more recently, getting me a literary sugar mama. Follow her if you dare @LitConnection, this chick is 'da bomb' and she's definitely got game when it comes to the literary world of swooning, nerding, barfing, WOW-ing, kick you in the crotch-ing, pee your pants-ing, or just something fabulous to curl up on the couch with.

Now I just need to get to the library to renew my card. Then I can get on this. First up is The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Apparently I'm missing out by never having read this one. I feel sheltered, small, insignificant.. Therefore, the first book up on 'A's Wonderful Dare Challenge' will be this nugget of a find (or rather suggestion).

I will post up a blog blurb with each challenge completed and give my thoughts on the read. We'll see how right you are LC, we'll see!!


p.s. Read her blog, you'll be amazed, you'll be floored, you'll want to grab your computer screen and make out with it. Well, maybe not like I did, but still... Check it out: http://thelitconnection.wordpress.com/

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Bradford House

Ok, since I'm having issues with writing recently, I decided to maybe give a little plot blurb about one of my current stories. This may give me a little bit of a push to get cracking again, who knows!

Basically, my "temp" title (which I may keep) is The Bradford House. It's my first 'attempt' at a more supernatural, paranormal type story, so it's interesting to write. I've also realized how hard it is to WRITE scary happenings, those dun dun dunnnn moments. You don't realize it, when seeing on tv for example if something jumps out it startles you. It's hard to startle someone while they are reading, mainly because you have to choose your words carefully and be as brief at the beginning of the incident as possible to get that 'startle' effect. It's easy to explain an eerie setting or ominous environment, but that JUMP effect is more difficult.

Anyways, in a nutshell, 2 friends embark upon a road trip to a haunted Bed & Breakfast. They're hoping for a good stay, spooky moments and maybe even see or hear a *gasp* ghost. There are only about 4 guest rooms at this place and it is run by an elderly couple who have been renting out the rooms at the popular haunted destination for years.
*Back story on B&B* Early 1900s, a family - The Bradfords - lived in the house. Long story short, dad went crazy, killed his wife, his daughter and the maid and that family is now haunting the place. The most haunted room is where the 'dad' had killed himself after murdering his family.

The people staying in the B&B are the 2 girls (say early 20s - who the story mainly focuses around), a newlywed couple who, for some odd reason, chose the haunted B&B as their honeymoon destination, 2 males (early 20s) who are in the middle of a road trip with a camper who came upon the B&B by chance and decided to stay a few days, and a creepy, quiet writer who is there for the soul purpose of research on haunted places - or so we think. And of course, the elderly couple who run it.

Creepy things happen, maybe people start disappearing, finding odd objects, blood, lies, etc, etc. One character has a hate for another for no reason, they've never even met before. Maybe everything isn't as it seems at the haunted Bradford House. Who will end up dead, and who will be alive? Will anyone even get out of the house in the end?? Not even I know for sure.

Anywho, that's 'bout it. I don't like explaining too much for fear I will ruin it.
Let me know if it sounds like an interesting read or not (if you can tell from my brief, random blurb).

Til next time.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Writer's Block

It hurts.

It's kicking my ass harder than that Rocky with the huge Russian. Though, much like Rocky, I'll end up on top. Eventually. "AADDRRRIIIAAANNNNN!"

Since I can't concentrate enough to write in any of my stories, I will focus my attention to zee blog so I can at least yet some words down. Even if it's just to make myself feel better.

Back to Rocky IV. Much advice from Duke:

Duke: You're gonna have to go through hell, worse than any nightmare you've ever dreamed. But when it's over, I know you'll be the one standing. You know what you have to do. Do it.

Do it! Stupid writer's block. I'll show you. I know what I have to do... Actually, I don't, but I know that at some point I'll be like *ding*! And write a million pages.

I think my writer's block = sleep deprived. I'm so tired. And when I'm tired my mind is this: --------------------- * ----- **** -------------- zzzzzzz -----.

The stars usually represent hunger. Or. Other need-to-attend emotions. I don't think I've ever had the 'Block' this bad. I've tried to sit and make myself (I know, I know, you can never make yourself write. At least you shouldn't. It'll come when it wants to). But for me, if I sit down and say, "lookie here fingers, you're going to just write and the ideas will follow", it usually works. Not lately. I don't know what's going on with me, but I don't like it. Evil, evil.

I also blame it on my urge to read opposed to write. Lately I've been craving the good reads and therefore reading = less time for writing. But I do enjoy the books. I also like to blame this silliness on a zillion other little things, but sometimes I think you just need to give yourself a break and 'zen' out your mind. I don't know why, but lately I've thought of about 5 other superb ideas for new stories, but I force myself not to start anymore otherwise I would never finish anything. Which is why I probably HAVEN'T finished a lot.

*Fun Fact* A - good at starting promising stories, horrible at ending them.

I think it's because I get bored with things easily. Then I start something else. And I also get distracted easily. Must. Force. Self. To. Continue. With. Current... Stuff.

Ok, on that note, I'm off to chase bunnies, find those lucky charms, jump over the moon, or try and write something productive today.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Things That Make Me Giggle.

Well I changed my blog URL to 'thingsshesays', (from the original inkofmind one). And now I'm inspired to do random blog entries on things. Hence, this entry (*queue deep, echo-y voice*): Things That Make Me Giggle...

Lets start it off with a more recent one. You know those times where you're home alone, all by yourself, and suddenly something on TV strikes you funny and you start laughing uncontrollably, then later feel like an idiot because of how much you laughed (not to mention, while no one else was around). Ok, bring in the new Boston Pizza Commercials. It happened to me the other morning and suddenly it came on, if you've seen it you know what I'm talking about (pun on the song Oh Yeah by Yello): Ohhhhh Boston Pizzaaaa.... *bum bum* Ohhhh... Salad... . Seriously. Whenever those commercials come on now it brings on the giggle fit.

Next up: People falling down. I know it's rude, and maybe a little cruel, but HONESTLY. When you're walking down the sidewalk and you witness the person in front of you trip and then look around to see if anyone noticed, and there you are laughing like an idiot, embarassing the poor fella (or gal). You can't tell me you haven't laughed at someone who has tripped and/or fallen down. It's instinct built within us to laugh. It's just a funny thing to see. I laugh at MYSELF when I trip or fall. It's especially funny when there's ice and you see 3 people in a row slip (and almost fall) on the same patch, then try and recover all smoothly like nothing happened. LOL. Just picturing people tripping is making me laugh. Don't think I'm a total bitch, I generally ask them if they're ok (after the laughing fit is over...).

Something that is ALWAYS good for a chuckle, Leslie Neilsen. I think he's one of the funniest men IN THE WORLD. He's hilarious. If I'm ever in a frump, just chuck in Naked Gun (any of them), Wrongfully Accused, Scary Movie, Airplane, any of them. He is one funny f***er.

Myself. I'm just saying. You're one with yourself if you're able to laugh at your own stupidity. And this is something I do often.

Watching drunk people try to dance is also up there. Especially at bars. You know the guys, who think they're all that and kind of push their way into the middle of the dance floor and start busting a move like they're John Travolta? But they don't realize how stupid they look? I love it. Or the girls at the bars who think they're the hottest thing there, but they're practically doing the Elaine from Seinfield.

Actually, just people watching in general is usually good for a laugh. I especially like to 'do voices' for them, as my friends would know. Making up the conversations as you watch people converse. Awesome. That's a good time right there.

There's plenty more, but I feel I should stop here. Oh wait, another one is my bff. When we're together it's like, constant laughter. The kind that afterwards it feels like you just did the ab ripper 6000.

Hm. Moral of the post. Laughter IS the best medicine.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Punta Cana, Here I come!

Well on November 26th I will be taking my first ever vacation.


Going to the Dominican Republic and I'm quite excited. I went on my first ever plane trip last December to Disneyland (for work - I know, right?) and then I was in Toronto in June (again, for work), but NOW I get to go somewhere fantastic and hot and beachy all on my own time and enjoy the things I want to enjoy. This is going to be the furthest away I've ever gone, and I'll actually get to see the ocean! Yes, yes, I know what you're all thinking and no, I've never seen the ocean before. Well, unless you count seeing it from the plane when we were flying to California to Disneyland, but I don't think that counts. I'll get to put my feet on the ocean!

It's only 2 months away, and I'm going to have to start planning. I'm definitely going to hook up to try some windsurfing (picture A flying as we speak), would love to do a zip line and lots of other fun stuff.

I'm going with my mom, but I promised her that I would take her on our first trip (out of Canada anyways). It should be a blast.

I'm finally starting to do some of the things I've been wanting to do for the past couple years but haven't due to anxiety and a lot of reasons towards this. IE) tattoo, VACATION, next up I'm still trying to find some online courses for writing (no luck yet...)

Punta Cana! *high five*


Saturday, September 19, 2009

Goal fullfilled!

So in a previous post I mentioned that I wanted to do something for a memorable Summer '09. I had only a few days left until it was officially fall. But! I have successfully done something that is definitely memorable for my Summer '09.

I finally got my tattoo.

I've been wanting to get one FOREVER and since I was about 14, I knew the first one I wanted to get was the symbol for Gemini. And now I have it.

It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would (if anyone has ever gotten anything waxed, that hurts more than a tattoo!) I'm quite giddy about it, I love it. The dude who did it was pretty fantastic as well.

So, congrats to me! Ink virginity has been lost.

Here's to Summer '09! Now bring on the fall.


Thursday, September 17, 2009

Operation: PJ Pants

Ok so, recently I've gotten into sewing. I know what you're thinking, but my friend had told me a few months ago how she's (basically a domestic goddess, a young golden girl, a craftsy sewer/knitter/crocheter, etc, etc). I've always been the creative type (minus drawing/sketching - I can't even draw stick people properly..). So she got me all interested in this sewing business. I love fashion and have always wanted to be able to create things.

So anyways, I bought a sewing machine a couple months ago and had proceeded into my first project. I had been looking for a good hobo bag for a while, yet had not found the one. I'm very picky with purses (*cough* purse fetish). So I was bound and determined to make my own hobo bag. Long story short - I had found a pattern online for something 'similar' to what I wanted, cut out the pattern and then ALTERED it, cut out differently, made this longer, that bigger, yada yada yada. So basically I'm working with my own creation and hoping it all worked once I started sewing the thing together. In the end it worked out quite well! I was surprised. Shocked. Mom was proud (she still won't stop talking about it), so now I'm a little bit confident with my sewing skills having my first project be a fairly decent bag if you ask me.

Next project - pj pants. Apparently I've been told that I should have started with pj pants as it is a lot easier than the purse. Originally I was thinking pj SHORTS, however now that summer is slowly disappearing I may do the pants. And this one is going to be all me because I can't really find a pattern for what I want. So I may just wing it and see what will come out of it.

I'll try to post a picture of the pants once they are complete. In the mean time here's a quick snap of the bag.

Wish me luck with my future creation. I hope it turns out ok!

-A (aka designer in the making. aka an 86 year old in a 22 year old's body.)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Being cool by doing school?

So I've been contemplating going back to school for quite some time now. Don't get me wrong, I'm only 22, however I was an honor student throughout my entire life and ever since I graduated high school I've been feeling like I'm wasting my "smarts" if you will. I didn't immediately apply to colleges/universities like most of my friends mainly because I didn't know what I wanted to go for exactly. And I wasn't about to waste oodles of money on something I wouldn't even use (don't even get me started on tuition costs, etc, etc).

So anyways, after 4 years of working full time I've gotten used to the continuous paycheques, but can't help but feel this empty void inside of me to pursue something even if it was just for my own benefit.

I love reading and writing and always have. I'm always writing in my free time and have been contemplating taking an actual course on writing/editing/publishing for the last couple months. My only fear is, well failing of course, and I want to take courses online so I can got at my own pace and still be able to work full time (hey, I've got rent and bills to play). I'm also worried that I won't be able to concentrate or take it seriously enough or be able to actually sit down and make myself work on assignments (Ms. procrastination AND Ms. ADD here...)

Anyways, so I'm going to contact some places to inquire of any distance/online writing courses that they offer. I have to admit that I'm a little excited of the possibility of doing school work again (*COUGH* nerd *cough cough*), but a little nervous and scared at the same time.

Well, we'll see how this goes. I'll let you know if I ever sign up for official courses!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Labor Day

Well today is extremely uneventful in my land. A day off from work (hurrah!), however I have spent this day doing, well, nothing really. I feel like I'm wasting my day away (I hate that).
Though, what has kept me entertained is the Law & Order SVU marathon on the Mystery Channel (gotta love that channel). I hate when I have an unproductive day because then I look back on it in disgust and wish I would have done something. I'm doing laundry, so I guess that counts for something, right?
Don't get me wrong, I've been trying to force myself to write because I wanted to use this long weekend to get pages and pages out and I can't seem to concentrate enough to write anything! Argh, one of my pet peeves. It's not even writer's block, it's just the fact that I can't focus long enough to go and go. It's weird, I find myself able to write the most and concentrate the best at night. I think it has something to do with it being light out or something (vampire writer?).
Anyways, nothing really else to say, nothing exciting anyways. Hopefully I'll have something better to blog next time :D

Friday, September 4, 2009

X-Isle 1: 1st Synopsis ROUGH DRAFT

So I just jotted down a first possible synopsis for X-Isle part 1. Decided to post it up here, remember it's just a rough draft summary, but on the off chance people are reading this, I'd love to know what you think. Would YOU read it from this summary?

When seven college friends decide to embark upon an unforgettable spring vacation out at sea, they expect nothing but sunshine and good times. But what they don't expect is the disturbing presence of the older boat captain or the sudden flash storm that capsizes the boat and separates the group, stranding them on a desert island. When the malicious boat captain is found dead, the group spirals into a dramatic series of struggling to get rescued, drama, death, buried secrets and even some unexpected romance. Will they ever get rescued? Who will end up dead? One thing's for sure - nobody expected a spring break quite like this one.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


Oy Vey...

You know when you're just sitting there, minding your own business then suddenly BAM!

No, I'm not talking about getting hit by a bus, I'm saying that something hits you out of no where and you struggle to grasp the situation at hand. Said situation today, it's September...

Where the hell did summer go? That's what I'd like to know. And apparently today I'm rhyming like Dr. Seuss, perhaps this is how I handle the news... Ok, I'll stop. I deal with the days all the time, I mean for half the day I'm doing statistics (I work in travel, long story), so I'm forever writing dates on things and yet just now it hits me as I look at my phone display (as I do 10 million times a day...) and see SEP 3. WOah! Dude! Bring back July! I felt like we only got a nibble then all of a sudden all the little minions are back to school? And what's with the +30 weather now? Where was this a month ago? *sigh* you can never win with Alberta.

In other words, I have to say that as I look back on MY summer, I don't feel like I did anything extraordinary enough. I mean my summer was OK, it wasn't anything spectacular by any means. But I always want to have something and be like 'Oh yeah... Summer '09 baby.' (Not like that, you perverts). I wish I had done something crazy to look back on for summer. I think that after you're out of school, the summer's aren't as important anymore. School defined summer, time off! Two whole months of freedom and the chance to get everything out of your system before you're back in the grinds of the daily routine. Yet, now, as an adult, summer is just another season to watch out your office window. I mean, the sun stays out later sure... But it's sad that you notice fall is coming when it's "Dark out when you wake up now".

Ok, I was speaking of amazing things. I still have a couple weeks. Fall doesn't officially start until Sept 21, so technically I still have time to do something UNBELIEVABLY SPECTACULAR before summer is over.

Will keep you updated.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thoughts and Mind Clots

Hm. Well I keep forgetting to blog about stuff. Maybe because I lead a boring life or I just have too much going on to remember! I need a little je ne sais quoi in my life, I think.

Well I've decided I need to stop thinking of new potential story/novel ideas. I have this incessant problem where I start these great ones, and keep starting new ones, but have issues with finishing them. I need more self control, come on imagination, one thing at a time! But I guess it's better to keep thinking of things rather than not think of anything. Ok, lets be positive and look at the bright side, yada yada yada.

One of my MOST prized things ever has got to be the story ("novel") that my BFF and I have been writing for like the past 3 years. We used to do it in high school a lot (a different story) where we would pass this binder back and forth between classes and that one got up to over 600 written pages. Then a while after we graduated, we were like hey. We should do this again (through the fabulous technology of email, seeing as she was now living in Red Deer, me in Edmonton). So off we went, thought of an idea, started it, kept going. Now, we're on 'Part 3'. The first is over 200 pages typed, but apparently we weren't done with this idea and started part 2 which reached almost 300 pages typed and recently we have gone on to part 3. Why not make it a trilogy? Where was I... Right, so this story is like one of the things I hold very dear to me, mainly because we put so much effort into it and these characters have been with us for so long. Now, amongst writing Part 3, she is revising/editing the first part and I'm trying to do the 2nd. This is all between me writing my other stuff.

The title we've had since the beginning is X-Isle. It started as a temporary title, so we're not sure if we'll stick with it, but it makes the most sense because it's what we've called it all this time. It's stuck. Perhaps on my next blog I will try and do a summary of Part 1. And whoever is reading this will have to tell me if it sounds like something that would be interesting. I think we're actually thinking of SERIOUSLY trying to get it published. I mean, it's all there. Time, effort, much thought and many, many 'pow-wows' (this is what we call it when we phone each other and sit down to discuss what will happen next or any future ideas we have for 'the story'). Maybe after we're all done fixing and revising and tidying we will try. It's taking a while, me working full time, her working and being in school. But anyways, next blog I'll try to come up with a blurb on what it's about and maybe eventually I'll post a section of it on here. We shall see!

BTW, I've been looking around at maybe taking some writing courses. Eeks. I was an honor student all through high school and haven't gone to college yet. I kind of feel like it's a waste, but I mean I have a full time job that I usually enjoy so I hadn't really thought I needed to go to school. But now I'm thinking I'd like to do something for me, and for something that I would really like to do.

Well, I'm rambling now. Hopefully at least SOME of this made sense. If not, tough. It's who I am lol. I rarely make sense.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Rod Stewart and other ramblings...

So I went to the Rod Stewart concert the other night and it was AMAZING. Probably one of the best concerts I've ever been to. I was happy to see that he's still got the moves (despite his 61 yrs of age) and that he can still get women to toss their knickers on stage (Yes, some 50-something woman threw her panties up there). It was funny. But, gotta say, if I had been closer to the stage I probably would have too.

Hmm, what else to go on about. I can't believe it's August 12. Seriously. It feels like just yesterday we were barely scraping out of winter and now it's going to be fall before we know it (I recently saw Halloween candy splayed all over Save On Foods the other day- I almost barfed). This year has flown by, and upon reflection... This has been one crazy year for me. Too much stuff has happened, yet it feels like nothing has happened at all. Ever feel that way? Sometimes I think that I want to do something spectacular. I'm still working on getting a book published (I'm trying, I'm trying), and yesterday I found myself with a thought that I've never had before. And that thought was an honest wonder in my mind, 'maybe I should fly to Europe or Australia for a few months, just to get away.'
Ever feel like that? I've never thought about something like this before, I actually kind of scared myself a little. Something crazy happened to me about a year ago and I've found myself with powerful anxiety, especially if I have to do/go somewhere by myself. Like panic attacks. So for me to think 'hey, I wonder what it would be like to go across the world -by myself- for a few months'. It's just nuts. I think it really shows that I need to get away. I have too much going on in my head and sometimes I just think I need to get away by myself for a while to sort things out.

Sigh, maybe some day.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Rod f'ing Stewart!

I'm going to his concert tonight. I've loved this guy since I can remember, back in the day when I'd listen to my dad's casette tapes (that plus the Eagles, Black Crowes, Creedence Clearwater...).

And tonight, I get to see ROD STEWART LIVE. I'm so excited, have had these tickets since like March (Oh August, how you've snuck up on us all...) People at work have been making fun of me for how excited I've been for this day, but honestly I don't care! I know I'll be surrounded by many horny 50-somethings, but I'm ok with it. I'll be screaming louder than any of them!

Now I just need to find some leopard spandex and I'm good to go.

Hope to post at least 1 picture from tonight... Haven't blogged a pic yet, but should be easy to figure out. I haven't been to a concert since The Killers were in town in April, but that was an AMAZING concert, they're really good live. Got my stamp of approval.

So tonight, Rod Stewart, and perhaps I will be able to smuggle an ACDC ticket from someone before the 26th.

Man, this year has been great for concerts. I only wish I had more $$$.

Monday, August 3, 2009

CM Cast Broken!

So Shemar Moore just broke his leg and Matt Gubler is still recovering from a knee surgery. I think they're filming 2nd or 3rd episode of the new season right now and they're all getting broken! Poor guys, wonder if they're going to work it into the storyline somehow.

Just had to do a quick mention. Hoping for a quick recovery for both and hoping for another slamming season! Can't wait!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Blog

So I'm still trying to figure out how this whole blog thing works. Is anyone even reading my blog? How do I get more people to read it? Does it even matter if anyone reads it?

These are all very good questions, and ones that I am trying to find the answers to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a "blog whore" or anything, and I like to write just to write. This is a good helper tool in making me write when I can't write anywhere else. A wise person once said, the best way to become a writer is to write 10 minutes every day. It doesn't matter what you write about, as long as you just put pen to paper (or fingers to keys) and just let it flow. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. It helps open those creativity gates and allows for easier access to your imagination.

That being said, is it a big deal if anyone is reading this right now besides myself? Not really. But it would be nice.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Awesome Website

Ok, so for any of you who are into Criminal Minds like I am (*cough* obsessed *cough*), and the fantastic Dr. Spencer Reid... Check out Matthew Gray Gubler's web page. Seriously, I was wow'd when I came upon it, this guy's got some serious artistic talent. And who would of thought the amazingly talented actor would also turn out to be a down to earth, hilariously funny, artsy guy? It just makes him all the more likeable, if you ask me.

I was also idiotically pleased when I saw on his web page that he admires Edgar Allan Poe and his beautiful poem Annabel Lee. E.A.P. is my favorite literary artist in the world, I adore his work. Annabel Lee is my favorite poem (right after The Raven).

So anyways, check out his web page and his crazy art work. You may be pleasantly surprised.


Monday, July 27, 2009

Hair Dye Musings

Well, here I sit with 10 minutes left before I have to wash out my hair dye and figured I'd better blog about it. Why not?

I've got Freaks and Geeks going on in the background. Has anyone ever watched that show? I've just started recently and I love it, it's so funny. It's almost like a more laid back, funnier version of Degrassi.

I've been trying to keep up with a lot of things lately, a 3-part novel that my friend and I have been writing for 3 years (pretty much 3 novels in 1), my own novel I started a few months ago, Facebooking, Twittering (trying to get more followers!), working, keeping up with friends who I'm terribly upset that I've lost a lot of contact with a lot of them... And to add to it, it's summer and it's hot and there's so much going on.

And yet, here I sit, blogging away and dying my hair.


Time to rinse!

Thursday, July 9, 2009


So as I was laying in bed last night, trying to get to sleep, my mind is turning as always.You all know what I'm talking about, how you think of everything while you're lying there, waiting for sleep to take you over: Work, must remember to bring that piece of paper to work tomorrow... I shouldn't have had that third piece of pizza... I wonder if it's going to rain tomorrow? God, now I'll have to find my umbrella I think it's in the closet... But then if it's going to be hot tomorrow I should have done laundry...

You know how it works. So where was I... Right, Last night I was laying in bed and I thought of an idea. I'm going to make my own magazine. Hopefully get a couple friends who would care to venture with me on this project, hopefully a monthly thing with different columns (advice/fashion/celebs/volunteer work/events/etc, etc). I even thought of a name. lol But first I'll see if I can get some people to help me out. I'm thinking I'll need 2 volunteers.

I'll keep you posted.

How do you like them apples?

Saturday, July 4, 2009

A Demon in the Night

These thoughts, these feelings,
The taunting.
These unexplainable hauntings.
A fleeting power of might,
Lost by the demon in the night.
Unbalanced reasons to agree
Bare mixed with hopes of sanity,
A sense of humanity.
These answers within my sight
Broken by the demon in the night.
Grasping at straws of reality,
Bound tight into the ground,
The weight will bring it down,
But I will fight, I will fight,
Against the demon in the night.
Masked is the face of the truth,
The answers blind before me,
How do I set myself free?
From the tragedy of this vicious flight,
These aggressive taunts within my sight,
Rearing its ugly head into my life,
I am my own demon in the night.
I pry and I cry,
I try as I might.
To relinquish these thoughts of the demon in the night,
My savior, my thorn,
My inabilities reborn,
By this ghastly vision of terror in the night,
By fear so blinding and bright,
No sense of truth, no sense of right,
My own crazed lack of insight.
Of this terror, this error,
This taunting flight,
This weakening power to fight,
My lack of will tonight.
My savior, my thorn,
My own demon in the night.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Be not who you are, but who you want to be...

We all know who we are, we know how people perceive us - family, friends, loved ones, strangers. We know the way we act or react in certain situations, the emotions that overcome us and effect us in the long run. But in what way do we see ourselves? I doubt it's exactly the same as others see us, even though a lot of it is true and it's not like we're going around acting like someone we're not (even though some of us do...). But when it truly matters, when you throw everything out on the table, is who we are the person we want to be?

Some people say, 'The only way to be happy is to be honest with yourself and be true to who you are.' Obviously these people haven't been in certain situations. Some of us can't be honest with ourselves because then it would bring out demons that we would rather keep buried. You might not admit it, but everyone has things hidden that they don't exactly keep on their sleeves. In order to be honest with yourself, you need to wholly and unconditionally accept every thought, feeling, and epidemic that crosses your mind. Some of us can't do this. Some of us can't be who we are meant to be, or who we want to be. There are things that you need to consider other people with or think about how this would effect others (I'm not counting those self-absorbed, heartless, robot-people). Is it worth it to be honest with your TRUE self if the repercussions are hurting someone you love or throwing their whole world upside down? Not really, because then sure, you would be honest with yourself, but you were obviously not honest with them. What is more important? That's a debate for another time...

Being true to who you are is another questionable point. If you were completely true to yourself, you wouldn't be hiding from something inside of you, you wouldn't ignore certain thoughts, feelings or epidemics that cross your mind. Sometimes people aren't able to be honest with themselves or be true to themselves, because it's only a catch 22. If you were, you may not be who you are right now. If you never do, you may never be who you are meant to be.

So does this mean, if we aren't true to ourselves we aren't who we are? If this is true, I think there's a hell of a lot of us who need to do some serious soul searching and indulge in some self acceptance (me being one of them). Sometimes we can't be true to ourselves. Who we are is who we are, and if we were true to ourselves, and completely honest with ourselves, we may not be who we are today. It may be for the better, it may be for the worst... All of this comes in time after a long (or short) journey of self commitment. Some of us can't do that, some don't want to and they are completely fine with who they are and don't feel the need to change or be who they TRULY are, and some of us just can't because of the effect that that change and 'self-acceptance' would have on those around us.

So let me ask you this. Are any of us truly happy then? All I can say is be not who you are, but who you want to be. Fight for your goals and your dreams, everyone deserves it. It may not come today, it may not come tomorrow, but eventually I hope we can all find the strength to be truly happy. I know it will take time for me to come to some self honesty, that's for sure.

Thanks for listening.

Encre d'esprit = Ink of Mind

Ahh, the first blog in blog universe. How I have finally succumbed to announcing my thoughts and opinions to the online world.

I have to admit, I'm kind of excited.